Welcome to the Fellowship of Friends Discussion.
For previous parts of the discussion please visit AnimamRecro or the Main page of this blog.
For more organized reading check out The Fellowship of Friends WikiSpace.
For sites in Russian and Italian, click http://fofway.narod.ru/ and http://laliberastrada.blogspot.com/ respectively.
This is where you can find the website of the Fellowship of Friends.
If you decide to interact as well as digest, feel free to start here.
And as always, enjoy and have fun.
544 No Kid
No Kid, despite the lack of response to your part 8 post, I wish you would post more often and provide more details if you feel comfortable doing so.
Current students, prospective students, newspaper reporters and who knows who else are reading this blog. It’s important for the stories to be shared — more than once if posted several pages back. It’s a daunting task for someone new to read 27 pages of history.
Thank you!
Thank you all for responding to my questions. I appreciate the input because it helps me to understand. I want all of you to know how important you are to me. I think of all of you throughout the day. Some of you make me laugh, some make me cry, some make me mad, but you all make me think. Thinking leads to action. Thank you!
544 No Kid- Please stay and share. You are so very important too. I have only been here a few weeks and feel comfortable. Soon you will be too.
Elena- Thank you for the invitation. I will be taking you up on that shortly.
“Who has seen the wind? Neither you nor I.
But when the trees bow down their heads,
The wind is passing by.”
Christina Rossetti
waskathleenw’s ‘hypnotic bubble’ gave rise to more thoughts on the subtle world.
The constriction and terseness of the courtroom and the schoolhouse. The openess and invisible anticipation of the airport and coffee shop. The choas and subtle violence of the sporting arena. These all have fluid amorphous flavors- subtle signatures and we become integral elements upon entering them. We are constantly moving in and out of ‘Macrodimesional chambers’ (E.J. Gold “Life in the Labyrinth”)
The Fellowship of Friends has a ’subtle signature’.
It is a smooth highway, slow ride, on a warm early summer Iowa evening in a pimped out late model convertable. The ‘gross realm’ refinements are the pungent-sweet smell of a distant destination. Rolling with the corn over the hills and down the road the pungent sweetness grows displeasing. Arriving at the destination which you can never leave you find youself standing upon what must be the grate of the exhaust tube from hell. Fumes so foul, so noxious only choke and tears can escape. All around is a Boschesque landscape of pigs and crap and not a fence in sight.
Be patient Hans. A bucket o’ sequence ‘key’ slop will be sure to come flying out the back door any moment.
544 No kid
Yes No kid, please write down your stories, I think it would be very good to learn more about the point of view of the children. I myself have mothered three girls during my eight years living at Renaissance. But it was the late 80s-early 90s, and in that period things were easier, if not easy, for parents and their children.
Not much was ever said to me, either in public or in my circle of friends, about the families situation early years. I just learned quite a few things from your post. We were in fact in the dark about a lot of things that had happened before (or that were happening at the time, for that matter). I knew that some (at the time, it seemed to me that there were only a handful) of the students had abandoned their offspring, but no details were offered (remember? we were not supposed to talk about our measly personal matters). I mostly had heard of such stories from students who had subsequently retrieved their children. Maybe the others were too ashamed to talk about it, I don’t know. It all sounded so impersonal, it’s weird to think about it right now. It was all for the good of the school! And no one ever told me anything about the abortions and hysterectomies, or most of the various horrors slowly coming to light through the blog…
The pain was definitely deeply buried behind self control, self denial and self satisfied smiles…
BTW Hans, thanks for being the minister at my wedding, o Wise One!
I would like to read blogs from the friends and family members who were abandoned, ignored, deemed “asleep” or “food for the moon,” by members who had joined the fof. While former members try to get their bearings on what has occurred to them, those of us who saw clearly what the fof was about and refused to join, had our own stories about the abuse from the fof members. Have you apologized to your mother lately?
Yesri Baba:
“…the grate of the exhaust tube from hell.”
Wow, that hit home. When I read those words I was transported to the moment I lifted the lid of the escape hatch in the floor of Robert Burton’s closet and peered into the darkness of the crawlspace below the then “Goethe Academy” early in my tenure there.
I wondered, “If Robert is who he claims to be, why on Earth would he need such an exit strategy? C-influence would surely protect the anointed one and never allow such a play to occur. Has he not conquered all his fears?”
I knew at that moment he was only a man in a man’s body pretending to be otherwise, just like the rest of us.
I smelled those fumes, issuing from that blackness, and it became my oracle. “Fumes so foul, so noxious only choke and tears can escape.” How true for me!
zoecan1:
Thanks for thinking of us.
Elena:
“I continue to be open to supporting any further action against the Fellowship: Legal, conscious, non violent.”
BTW, what illegal, conscious and non-violent actions would you not support? I mean, you can demonstrate your point of view legally in America as long as you don’t loiter or trespass…we could all show up at the gate house or state building with signs and posters…but to actually take action, sometimes you have to break a few rules to get your point across, spill a little tea in the Boston Harbor, sort of thing. “Well-behaved women rarely make history”, says Laurel Thatcher Ulrich. I am counting on you to misbehave and continue to follow your passion. When the herd becomes conscious of itself, it also becomes a powerful force. But we must all take action “in concert” together.
For those interested, “Cover of Via del Sol Journal, February 29, 1972″ is now online:
http://www.archive.org/details/TheEsotericHistoryArchive_217
544/No Kid
I for one am very interested in your experiences. If you are interested in writing to me privately to tell me about them I am interested in listening.
veronicapoe (at) gmail (dot) com
This message is different from almost all the other posts on this blog.
It is addressed to you who is looking for a spiritual esoteric path to be present to your life – the path to Divine Presence.
The path to Divine Presence is not easy to find and stay on track because humans have inside them both higher and lower parts. Under regular circumstances, without school work, one lives one’s life only under the power of one’s lower part called the Lower Self. This part is totally based on imagination and has no interest in any esoteric work. The Lower Self does all it can to hinder one’s efforts to be present. It is doing so by introducing imagination instead of presence in every moment of one’s life. The Lower Self is a lower state of consciousness and it is literary a form of sleep. This state of sleep is not far from regular sleep at night. All our ordinary thoughts, feelings and physical senses and our entire daily actions basis are part of the Lower Self.
The part that is higher and divine in us is there, yet without constant and sincere efforts under the right guidance, it is almost impossible to reach it. Our Divine part is Divine Presence. One needs to learn how to be present and prolong presence in order to become a conscious being – a man who is capable of reaching Divine Presence in every moment of his life. This is School Work.
One may fairly say that this blog is the Lower Self’s blog. Still you must remember!!! Your lower self and mine are no different from anyone else’s including of those who are writing in this blog. What could make a difference are one’s efforts to be present and reaching prolong presence. That requires School Work.
The WEB environment where information about real esoteric work is surrounded by so many expressions of the Lower Self puts a real challenge in front of a true seeker of esoteric work. Why? Because one needs to separate truth from falsehood before one even gets the chance to learn about such separation. It is not easy to trust one post out of hundreds, yet if you know the story ‘The Princess and the Pea’ by Hans Christian Andersen you will probably understand that sensing the Pea=Truth through the Twenty Mattresses=Lowe Self is a complete parallel to this very moment when you are reading these words in this blog. The question is can you sense the Pea?
The Fellowship of Friends is a real esoteric School for reaching Divine Presence within one. It is led by Robert Burton, a conscious being, and the spiritual teacher of the School.
The art of reaching Divine Presence is the highest art on earth. If you are able to see through the Lower Self forest in this blog you are invited to visit the Fellowship of Friends web-site:
http://www.beingpresent.org
#8: Under regular circumstances, without school work, one lives one’s life only under the power of one’s lower part called the Lower Self.
Yikes!
Psychsick-
Yep, that’s the smell.
on December 31, 2007 at 8:53 pm
27/544 No Kid wrote:
Interesting that the subject of kids is up again. Probably not for long. It seems that usually when it is brought up it dies pretty fast…
#359 Associated Press wrote:
“If there is abuse of the under aged or the young in the Fellowship of Friends community, it is likely indirect and mostly due to neglect. Remember, a person must be 18, or older, to be a member of the Fellowship of Friends.”
Please don’t underestimate the effect of neglect. Also, it was not always the case that a member had to be 18. At first, it was 16. Then there was a single exception, an 11 year old. Other young adolescents followed, and eventually there were about a dozen minor members. This was only a phase. But at this time, at the property, 14-18 hour work days substituted for education for the very few kids who lived there. This is not great for rapidly growing bodies, and in the case that I can speak to, permanent, lifelong physical damage was one result.
Also, it is not neccesary for a minor to be a member to be abused. A very long time ago, in the first couple of years, children on the property lived separately from the adults and adult members would come around occassionally with food. Not daily. Parents came sometimes, but the most frequent visitor was a man who just liked children a lot. The older kids (8-14) suspected what he was about and mostly shunned him. The little ones (3-6) missed their parents much harder and would crawl all over this friendly man who brought food, and would scream if the older ones tried to separate them. That is ancient history, but I don’t see why non-member status would protect today’s kids any more than it protected the kids in the 1970’s.
I have only posted here once before, (8/328) to test the water, and getting no interest, I went back to listening. I only check in once in a while to see if the conversation has taken any new path. Sometimes there has been some change, but it is remarkable how much of the same comes back. I suppose that is what this blog group most needs to process. Your issues tend to be quite different from mine and I tend to find I have more in common with others who were raised in different cults than I have with adults who joined on their own volition.
Here, there is of course lots of interest in young men’s sexual experiences, and not much about the experiences of former or current kids. One thing that always surprises me and that comes up over and over again is the idea that adults in their 20s are actually “children.”
- – - – - – – - – -
Thank you for your appearance here and your posting. You do elicit thought and emotion as well as presence.
When I wrote:
“If there is abuse of the under aged or the young in the Fellowship of Friends community, it is likely indirect and mostly due to neglect. Remember, a person must be 18, or older, to be a member of the Fellowship of Friends.”
I was speaking in generalities and of more recent history of the Fellowship of Friends. I was also speaking in the context at the times on the blog, which was about legalities, if memory serves me correctly. So, thank you for the greater detail. Here is some more detail:
There certainly were both upsides and downsides to circumstances for children of Fellowship members. Some might say that there was a lot of adverse conditions for raising children – some worthy even of intervention by child protective services (which, BTW, could even be worse for the children). One could start with the fact that student number 2 (Robert being student number 1, although he probably long ago stopped thinking of himself as a student, maybe not). That was the woman that Robert purportedly had sex with in order to establish a certain ‘bond’ which could go beyond the normal teacher/student relationship bond. That woman was married at the time and had children. This ‘conscious teacher’ action may have led to the marriage having difficulties, to say the least. Family life for those children in that family was not necessarily ideal prior to said marriage but it was family life of some kind once there was a marriage. Then the disruption from FoF took place and at least one of the children, still under age, became perhaps the first FoF ‘orphan.’ The only family that child had left was the Fellowship of Friends, by proxy. Do you see any scruples (scruples: an uneasy feeling arising from conscience or principle that tends to hinder action) at work around here? Or, do you see screw pulls?
[The next generation that the above child produced reflected the valuation for family life that they did not have. The only real way that seemed possible for them to have stability of family life was to isolate themselves from the undesired 'influences' of you-know-who and eventually leave the Fellowship.]
Children, generally speaking, were marginalised and shunned from the beginning of the school (and likely from the beginning of their lives). They were too much trouble, too uncontrollable, and a distraction from the aim of creating a new civilisation and building an ark – as we were told by the Teacher. So, if you did not have any, then do not have any. And, if you did have any, they should be out-of-sight and out-of-mind. Also, as mentioned elsewhere on this blog, there were other solutions to the child problem. But, eventually, there was a place for the children and a creation of The Lewis Carroll School. Also, worthy of mention, is the family that Robert dotes upon and is the godfather to at least one of the children – which means an uneasy life of employment and housing for life supplied under Robert’s direction. (I would not wish that on my worst enemy. But, there it is.) It certainly makes it look like Robert is pro-family in that sense, doesn’t it? In that community, nothing miraculous seems to happen unless Robert wills it to happen.
One problem, that I was aware of, was one of children growing up in an overly speciallised environment. In particular, there was more development of essence and not so much development of personality. This could present a problem when the children had to go and live in the general scope of life on the planet. They would not be prepared. Ouch!
Another problem was the overly licentious life style that existed from the leader which spread to other Fellowship members. They thought/felt, if Robert can do whatever he wanted, well so can I. There were acts of sexual abuse of children that repeatedly would appear on the rumor mill – the ‘alternate grapevine,’ if you will. You just cannot stop the hidden communication channels. Were they more than happened in the general scope of life? I do not know. But some children were very screwed up, not only because they may have been abused this way directly, but also because they knew what was going on in the white mansion on the hill.
Add to these the problem created by the ‘no contact with former members exercise.’ Think about the disruption that would create for familial relations if one or the other in a marriage chose to leave the Fellowship when children are involved; estrangement likely, as a minimum.
But eventually there was the Buzbee incident in the 1990’s. This has been mentioned before on the blog, so, I will be brief with it. A child of a Fellowship member, while under age, was persuaded to having sex with Robert Burton, allegedly. I say allegedly, because the legal action that developed was settled out-of-court. Since that time, a strict adherence to the age requirement was implemented so as to filter and prevent such an ‘accident’ from happening. At least it looks good on paper. What actually may have happened, and what is still happening, could be any body’s guess.
Still Fellowship members are offering up, or being asked to offer up, their offspring, underage or not, to the designed purposes of the so called ‘conscious being’ who knows better what is good for all.
So, in short, as I said in 27/359:
‘There is more likely abuse of the elderly, the weak, the vulnerable, the ill and the infirm, as they can be members, and be deprived of their human rights and dignity. This seems to happen habitually in the power structure of the Fellowship of Friends, right from the man at the top (read: Robert Burton) and as a trickle down from the top type behaviour imitated by others. Just read the postings of Elena for example. It is not always the case, though.’
According to this post:
on January 5, 2008 at 11:21 pm
27/604 rich wrote:
Re: 601 Nuthead
So glad you left this cult. For whatever reason. This particular cult leader, in my opinion, in the main, shortens a persons life span. Now whatever teaching you might find in the future check the following before anything else. How are the elderly treated? Are there any children, if so ,are they happy? Best yardstick you could ever use. In my opinion, for whatever reason, your action was correct.
I agree and I recommend that you evaluate the society you live in on the basis of how it manages affairs of the elderly, the weak, the vulnerable, the ill and the infirm. Are they all respected? Are their human rights and dignity preserved? In what manner? Especially in the contemplation of: There, but for the grace of God, go I. Or, in another sense: That IS me and the only separation from me, that might exist, is in my mind.
P.S. For: on January 7, 2008 at 4:36 am
8 Psychic:
The only separation that might exist between your, so called, lower and higher selves is in your mind. And, that makes it imagination.
Psycho:
“The art of reaching Divine Presence is the highest art on earth.”
(***DISCLAMER: FOR YOUR EVOLUTION YOU MAY BE REQURIED TO BE RAPED BY THE TEACHER AS MANDATED BY HIGHER FORCES***)
“The path to Divine Presence is not easy to find and stay on track because humans have inside them both higher and lower parts. Under regular circumstances, without school work, one lives one’s life only under the power of one’s lower part called the Lower Self. This part is totally based on imagination and has no interest in any esoteric work. The Lower Self does all it can to hinder one’s efforts to be present. It is doing so by introducing imagination instead of presence in every moment of one’s life. The Lower Self is a lower state of consciousness and it is literary a form of sleep. This state of sleep is not far from regular sleep at night. All our ordinary thoughts, feelings and physical senses and our entire daily actions basis are part of the Lower Self.”
What about the middle self?
Psychic 8
The question is can you sense the Pea?
Dear Psychic,
yes, I think we can all sense the lump of Robert’s infamous Peanis even through twenty mattresses stuffed with Divine Presence and related nonsense.
May peas be with you!
8 Psych sick. side kick.
Robert burton lives under the direction of his lower part “read penis” twenty four seven.
It is his one eyed king and is a ruthless dick-tator.
( divine presence, divine presence, divine penis).
You have twenty mattresses around you thats why you cant hear us and another twenty around your conscience.
DIVINE PENIS, DIVINE PENIS, DIVINE PENIS.
I hope this helps you to have good associations when you say your favourite phrase.
“La bell dame sans merci hath thee in thrall.”
Jack.
Ps. Watch out his ring of power doesnt get you.
Across the river
Where are you?
gives a life sign.
On the rat line.
You snowed in?
Internet down?
J x
Psychic
I question myself to ask why it is that I have such a familiar negative reaction to your posts. I struggle to find a real reason for it. I could easily say to myself, “oh well just let him get on with it because I was, where he is right now”, and that would be a level of transformation for me, right? But I cannot do this as my conscience (not Robert) pricks me. Being the father of a young child and watching her grow, comes with many natural and imaginary fears. Amongst other things, the world of the WEB will have many opportunities for her to interact with people she does and does not know. A strong fear that resides in me is that she will access a children’s blog and be confronted with some paedophile. Negative imagination I know but your posts stir such in me and like a paedophile’s presence on a children’s blog, something with experience in me resents your presence and your intentions.
I would strongly advise people to be very wary of the Fellowship of Friends, despite the deliberately intriguing way that Psychic tries to allure.
8 Psychic
. . . one lives one’s life only under the power of one’s lower part called the Lower Self. This part is totally based on imagination and has no interest in any esoteric work. The Lower Self does all it can to hinder one’s efforts to be present. It is doing so by introducing imagination instead of presence in every moment of one’s life. The Lower Self is a lower state of consciousness and it is literary a form of sleep.
————————
Thank you, Psychic, for an excellent description of Robert Burton’s behavior.
8 Psychic
Membership must be at an all time low for you to come here where you are not wanted or welcome. Do you really think anyone will take you up on your mumbo jumbo crap after reading the truth from people who have lived your life, woke up, and got the hell out of there? I suggest you pander your wares elsewhere.
Forget Psychic! Waste of energy! This person is either L_nda Tu_liso, M_rio F-anton_, Rol_ndo Ami_tiro, or someone similar!
Psychic: I do have to say that it’s way disappointing to think that people like you, still in the Fellowship, are still thinking in this fashion. If you are being guided towards awakening, I think you made a wrong turn somewhere.
8 Psychic
Since leaving the FOF I’ve found esoteric teaching that actually works. This makes it easier to distinguish between truth and lies when reading esoteric writings. Virtually every sentence in your posting is a lie. It’s the dogma of a pseudo-school that has lost touch, or was never in touch, with beauty, reality, simplicity, or spiritual truth. Your “school” instead promotes vanity, power, control, obsession with money and sex, cruelty, weakness, childishness, sleep.
Anyone who still believes Robert Burton is a conscious being is a candidate for the lunatic asylum. Your “buffers” must run very deep.
This message is very different from other messages on the blog:
Since in general the messages on this blog focus on open exploration and communication of the fellowship of friends, Psychic message focuses on attracting you. Psychic want you, innocent reader to join the fellowship of friends. The fellowship of friends is in need of your money, your flesh and young attractive women to attract more young men for the teachers sexual need.
Be aware.
Thats your leader alright…..ordinairy thoughts,feelings and physical senses…..Can you see that psyidekick? Your leaders entire psychology is geared towards his addictions. So eventually you end up with no ordinairy thoughts of your own, no feelings of your own and bingo no physical senses of your own. Whole ways to consciousness exist that use sensing. Why ? Well, I’ve thought that maybe years ago people working on themselves found this to be a reliable means to work. I could be mistaken. I’ll try and live with these uncertainties and untruths I have at the moment .
I don’t know about you. Call me cynical but isn’t it just a little too intentional the way psyidekick enters each part of the discussion.This one is part2 (8) no 8. Last time it was part 2 (7) no 81. Smells like someone to me . Its something I really like about computers. They don’t lie. Please tell me if I’m wrong. For psyidekick to cintinue he’ll need to slowly kill his conscience. This isn’t me reading the tarot its just something I know. He’ll need to rationalise everyday to stay where he is. Defence mechanisms aren’t evil in themselves they just exist.
Human moves kid
Human moves
You study the watch
But I study you. You get the cheque.
Paul Newman
Dear psychic psychopath enabler:
Have you actually met your middle self, yet? Here’s a message from mine. Relax. You are your upper and lower self and quite probably whatever you are in between at any given moment as well… and nobody is perfect, you’ll never be able to be all one or the other, otherwise you’d be mentally ill. You are both ends and the middle. You cannot live without your lower self if it keeps your heart beating for you. And your upper self wants perfection like God, which is implausible given our humanity. So where’s that happy medium?
My advice is to listen to your wise, experienced middle self. Moderation is the key to maintaining a balanced state of self-awareness, don’t you agree? By polarizing oneself in a linear fashion, one crucifies oneself between the extremes. One’s psychic equilibrium is decidedly out of balance if one is weighted at either pole.
I think a circle or sphere is more appropriate than a line to talk about the human psyche, anyway. A circle adds another dimension, a sphere one more. You can contain something on a plane in a circle and in space with a sphere. The center point of that circle or sphere is a unique point of singularity. (Not a bad place for the middle self to hang out either.) We circle through our feelings and thoughts, exist in a hypnotic bubble, and our lives are made up of great cycles. We can witness the circle of life in nature. Isn’t it truly amazing that the circle of the moon fits perfectly over the circle of the sun during an eclipse? We can certainly circle our wagons for more protection, too! In fact, I love circles, you can even use them to attain a higher state…at times I love just spinning like a dervish out in nature to attain the fourth state of consciousness for a brief time, completely independent of any teacher. You can do it for free.
You know, if I were a seeker in need of some personal development and growth, I’d be looking for a way to also do some good in the world, you know, relieving some of that suffering the Absolute incurs for keeping the stage for our evolution set, actions like just drilling a well in Africa as a random act of kindness. In fact, I think I’d join the Peace Corps or some other NGO for some hands-on learning, without a “teacher’s” hands on me. That’s what I’d tell my kids.
Thank you so much for posting, Psychic, we really appreciate it.
Last, But Knot Yeast ~
__________________________________
Thanks for the warning ‘Psychotic’ for the email address leading to divine presence and Robert Burton’s libido-ego; now all I have to do is access your blog-posting for the ‘reminder’ and can now take the rock salt I’ve been carrying around in my left back pocket ‘forever’ and scrub off the tattoo on my right forearm detailing that famed address and portrait of smiling-Marcus (don’t ask)…
_________________________
Whalerider ~
That trap door is also used for a second toilet for those who don’t make it to his private bathroom in time; of course it’s still an escape hatch too, (only for those who can transform Robert Burton’s $#@! in the moment) if you know what I mean.
__________________________
Hello Elena ~
You wrote ~
“As many times before, I ask you to forgive my trespassing of your privacy Unoanimo.
I know you Unoanimo and I wish you no harm.
I assume responsibility for all of my mistakes.
If you like, I give up, I throw the towel, you win.”
______________
Then you wrote ~
“Your eyelashes and curly hair,…”
______________
Somehow Elena, you win, really: the last line I quote from you contradicts (as usual) the above 4 others: it is not surprising that you have difficulties with trust and hypocrisy reminders in this blog-family’; such contradictory actions by yourself lead to more and more attraction of illegitimate energies to your aim to clarify your heart (IMO) ~ I will take a big break from posting to you: maybe you’ll email me some time and tell me what you truly wish to say.
I want to apologize for all negative things ‘or words’ I have written towards your spirit (as you interpret them as such), I really do not know you well enough to have begun with you from where I did;
the wish to love is not always up to par with the current moment’s level of being who’s in love:
I wish to clear the Karmic Winds and throw in the unscented, un-herbal infused, automatic-stress-release-roped, soap on a rope;
i.e., the soap and the rope… throw them into the ocean for me, way out, not from the shore; rather, please do it when you’re far off and deep sea diving or fishing.
When your fire runs out of context, look me up again, till then, I wish you well and support your pace 110%; anyone striving as desiring and as passionately as your spirit (is) deserves only the best I can offer, it’s not an incredible much because we’re nearly ’strangers’, yet, it’s something…
Your first name’s spelling is no small irony to me: take care.
__________________________________
The reason I left the Fellowship of Friends was because there was only one angel in the room, the one whose standing behind Robert Burton, whose been giving him the double-finger (both hands) for 35+ years.
__________________________________
l.t.y.a.
l.t.y.a.
5 is a newly moderated comment.
Psychic: I keep on meeting and finding people who are on different parts of the path, none of them have heard of the Fellowship of Friends, none of them will. You live in a very small world, only by your choice. It’s an interesting part of the world but it’s very very small. It’s tiny.
Dear unoanimo:
“That trap door is also used for a second toilet for those who don’t make it to his private bathroom in time.”
Actually, the way his room is or was laid out, it would be if his bathroom toilet was already in use or clogged up, you could piss right there in the scalloped sink, or go into the closet off his bathroom, lift the trap door lid and take a piss there. Oh, and the Darvon was kept in the mirrored glass medicine cabinet hidden to the left of the sink.
I don’t know if they ever got that smell of piss out of the crawlspace, do you?
17 Allan S
If sidekick isn’t the perfect example of a fucking mindless drone, than I don’t know what is. He can easily be replaced with a tape recorder, and that wouldn’t take up any valuable space on this planet.
Get your head out of your ass and see what it’s like when oxygen reaches your brain.
20 Dream Catcher
I would venture a guess that even those people would be embarrassed to spout that shit. Of course I could be wrong.
Have you noticed that every time we touch on a sensitive issue, one relating to criminal activity by Robert and the FOF, that Fellowship students emerge to try to distract us?
One area that hasn’t been touched until now is the abuse of students’ children — from *their* point of view.
Now that we can finally hear the children’s side of the story, people like Psychic emerge to distract us with his mumbo-jumbo dickhead philosophy.
This issue is critical, and now that the door is at last open, we need to hear their stories and not be distracted from the real issue.
Clearly, it’s too late to stop what happened to the children who’ve already suffered these abuses. However, we do need to get this message to the mothers of young children, so they won’t be naive about how dangerous and sick Robert is.
At the very least, they need to have a healthy doubt, and not be so ready to trust just anyone with their children, and leave them with whoever happens to be available, just so the adults can go to dinners.
27 the Esoteric Sheik of Inner Confusion
“It’s tiny”
For tiny minds and hearts. Totally self-referential.
Alan S.
Of course you must know that I was referring to the asshole, not you.
Brucelevy
Thanks for the clarification, I was hoping that was what you meant. I’ll put my head back up my ass. :-)
Thanks Lady B
Yes, a healthy critical mind where to bring our children would be a healthy approach to a community with children.
98 % of molestation of children is done by family or friends. A critical mind in this area is very crucial.
Why? Our children are the future. The more whole our children, the better their and our future and the community.
To No kid:
Thanks for sharing. Is this man who was bringing food to the children still in the fellowship of friends and with which first letter starts his name? N for example or ?
Lady B said:
Have you noticed that every time we touch on a sensitive issue, one relating to criminal activity by Robert and the FOF, that Fellowship students emerge to try to distract us?
One area that hasn’t been touched until now is the abuse of students’ children — from *their* point of view.
Now that we can finally hear the children’s side of the story, people like Psychic emerge to distract us with his mumbo-jumbo dickhead philosophy.
This issue is critical, and now that the door is at last open, we need to hear their stories and not be distracted from the real issue.
Clearly, it’s too late to stop what happened to the children who’ve already suffered these abuses. However, we do need to get this message to the mothers of young children, so they won’t be naive about how dangerous and sick Robert is.
At the very least, they need to have a healthy doubt, and not be so ready to trust just anyone with their children, and leave them with whoever happens to be available, just so the adults can go to dinners.
———————
First, just thought that should be repeated.
I knew of some problems for the children way after the fact (and also, way after I left) but negligence was what I heard about. Some very bad things arise from the space created by negligence.
Perhaps the allurement that psychic and his/her ilk are addicted to is connected to negligence.
No Kid – will you post more?
Zoecan,
I left around the 22nd of March of 2007 when Girard Haven wrote a letter to the students suggesting that they do not read the blog because it was for him a waste of time.
I knew that the things that were being said on the blog needed to be heard by students but with one easy and simple blow he closed the door and the opportunity for hundreds of them to listen to others. That is how much authority he and Robert Burton have over more than a thousand persons.
Of course, I knew I had written my death sentence when I wrote my first post four days before that. There are many ways to die and live! Live and die.
Whalerider,
What fun! I was a great disappointment to my father because I became a mystic instead of an anarchist! There was the anarchy!
Zoecan, The most worthwhile way to visit any place is with someone who loves it. There is not much to see here but a lot to be for. It is not like looking at a painting but like being in a painting. A moving picture in time that you know will soon disappear. People are beautiful. No TV’s, no cars, no radio. I hire a motorcycle from the town to pick me up and bring me when I don’t wish to walk the forty minutes to come to the internet in which there are ten computers but only two work slowly because the electricity of the town is too low to let the others work.
The turkeys I got in Christmas walk around the house together with the twenty other cocks and chicken and about fifty little chics, so small that one is constantly tempted to grab one. They pick the soil out of the plants and we chase them away clapping. The cocks crow on the tree behind the room early at dawn and it is still dark by the time we are already wide awake. The donkeys make their strange noise and carry crystal water where needed. Life is simple.
Unoanimo dearest, you are not the only one with eyelashes and curly hair love, for all we know you could be a woman!
If you prefer I’ll say, your socks and shoes but the other sounded more loving!
It’s windy, warm and fresh at the same time. A breeze of love to all of you.
31 Lady B
Have you noticed that every time we touch on a sensitive issue, one relating to criminal activity by Robert and the FOF, that Fellowship students emerge to try to distract us?
I don’t disagree with you, Lady B, but it’s also true that Psychic announced he/she/it was going to post something like this piece of drivel on each page of the blog, and has done so.
34 Allan S
Thanks for the clarification, I was hoping that was what you meant. I’ll put my head back up my ass. :-)
ROTFL
5 Mishaba7
those of us who saw clearly what the fof was about and refused to join, had our own stories about the abuse from the fof members.
Curious what you are alluding to. I didn’t realize the blog also included almost-members in its readership.
27/570 Mick Danger
Let us take time to acknowledge the wonders of our time: Tom Brady & the New England Patriots were undefeated.
And from the look of the games this weekend, it could well be 19-0!
JoelF
Hello, Bloggers.
waskathleenw wrote:
“No Kid…I wish you would post more often and provide more details if you feel comfortable doing so…Current students, prospective students, newspaper reporters and who knows who else are reading this blog. It’s important for the stories to be shared…”
zoecan1 wrote:
“No Kid- Please stay and share. You are so very important too. I have only been here a few weeks and feel comfortable. Soon you will be too.”
No Kid responds:
Thank you, Kathleen, Zoe. I will probably pop around from time to time. Who knows, I could become a “regular.” Stranger things have *certainly* happened! I do in fact have a great deal of ambivalence about posting here. And I have no interest *whatsoever* with talking to the press at this time. My personal comfort actually has little to do with my reluctance, but thank you for considering it. One thing about being raised in the fellowship is that I have a very high tolerance for discomfort. Scar tissue is a lot tougher than pristine baby skin! My reluctance has more to do with potential reprecussions against elderly relatives. I will not repay their neglect of my best intersts with the same. I am better than that. If their well-being is ever threatened, *that* is when I will consider activating my considerable political and press connections. Failing that, I will allow entropy to do what it does best – with no help from me. Everything decays eventually.
Lauralupa wrote:
“Yes No kid, please write down your stories, I think it would be very good to learn more about the point of view of the children.”
No Kid responds:
I won’t be posting the best of stories (the worst of stories) here. They are my ace up the sleeve in case I ever need to use them strategically.
Lauralupa wrote further:
“I knew that some (at the time, it seemed to me that there were only a handful) of the students had abandoned their offspring…”
No Kid responds:
Well… “abandoned” can cover a wide range of actions. As far as I know, kids were not just dropped off on the side of road with a blanky and a P&J sandwich. Students *were* encouraged to get rid of the kids, though. Generally this meant they were sent to live with friends or relatives. In retrospect, given a choice, I would rather have been sent away. There was a nice family who probably would have taken me. But…ancient history.
Mishaba7 wrote:
(about students who cut themselves off from their families of origin) “Have you apologized to your mother lately?”
No Kid responds:
Good question. Obviously I would add: “Have you apologized to your children lately?”
veronicapoe wrote:
“I for one am very interested in your experiences. If you are interested in writing to me privately to tell me about them I am interested in listening.”
No Kid responds:
Thank you, Veronica. I will consider it.
Associated Press wrote:
“Thank you for your appearance here and your posting. You do elicit thought and emotion as well as presence.”
No Kid responds:
Thank you, AP.
Associated Press further wrote:
“…That woman was married at the time and had children…and at least one of the children, still under age, became perhaps the first FoF ‘orphan.’”
No Kid responds:
Yes. I knew that woman, knew her husband, knew the child. I won’t say anything further out of respect for the privacy of others.
Associated Press further wrote:
Do you see any scruples (scruples: an uneasy feeling arising from conscience or principle that tends to hinder action) at work around here? Or, do you see screw pulls?
No Kid responds:
Nice pun, AP. I don’t quite understand the question, though. Do you mean scruples “here” on this blog or “here” in that history?
Associated Press further wrote:
“Children, generally speaking, were marginalised and shunned from the beginning of the school (and likely from the beginning of their lives). They were too much trouble, too uncontrollable…”
No Kid responds:
Uncontrollable and trouble…I certainly was! It eventually resulted in my being put out on the street in the middle of the night in the rain with only the clothing I was wearing. That was lots of fun. It was a good thing that I had been mixing with outsiders. That bit of disobedience kept the rain off my head on subsequent evenings. And, of course, when one is a relatively attractive and personable teenager, there are always older men who are happy to provide the basics of life in exchange for the luxuries of young flesh. I am not complaining about that, BTW. My sugar-Daddies probably saved my life and I am grateful to them for that.
Associated Press further wrote:
“…the children had to go and live in the general scope of life on the planet. They would not be prepared. Ouch!”
No Kid responds:
Not prepared…well THAT is an understatement!
Associated Press further wrote:
“…There were acts of sexual abuse of children that repeatedly would appear on the rumor mill – the ‘alternate grapevine,’ if you will. You just cannot stop the hidden communication channels…”
No Kid responds:
I have enormous respect for hidden communication channels. I think that one of the reasons that gossip is so disparaged (not only in the fellowship, but in most other structured social groupings) is that it is generally the channel through which those without direct access to power and to conventional channels of communication are able to share information about what kinds of people are to be found in that structure. That is obviously very threatening to those who in pursuit of personal and political power would control all communications. One of the first things any tyrant does is seize control of communications. Grab their presses and their minds will follow…
Best to All.
I am, No Kid.
Bloggers:
A small correction…
“My personal comfort actually has little to do with my reluctance, but thank you for considering it.”
should read:
My reluctance actually has little to do with my personal comfort, but thank you for considering it.
I am,
No Kid.
Happy New Year.
Please come and help us build a website that will serve as an informal center of information on the Fellowship of Friends, from those who have personally experienced it.
The idea is to be more concise and factual than this blog. New arrivals may not want to read 1 year of discussion, but can probably take the time to read what is on this website:
http://fellowshipoffriends.wikispaces.com/
It is a work in progress. Sheik, could you please advertise this link on top of your page?
Cheers and good luck to us all.
No Kid, I’m just curious. Were you ever read “The Hobbit” as a bedtime story?
Elena:
“I was a great disappointment to my father because I became a mystic instead of an anarchist!”
If your father could read this blog, he would be proud of you. You have become both mystic and anarchist!
What would your father say of Robert Burton and the Fellowship of Friends?
on January 7, 2008 at 11:11 pm
#39 No Kid wrote:
Associated Press further wrote:
Do you see any scruples (scruples: an uneasy feeling arising from conscience or principle that tends to hinder action) at work around here? Or, do you see screw pulls?
No Kid responds:
Nice pun, AP. I don’t quite understand the question, though. Do you mean scruples “here” on this blog or “here” in that history?
- – - – - – – - – -
No Kid, I was kidding when I ask, ‘Do you see any scruples?’ – because the circumstances described (in the history of the
Fellowship of Friends described) show fairly significantly that there was a lack of scruples operating and instead there was a ’screw pulls’ play being acted out. Or, in other words, the hidden agenda was to satisfy the lower self aim(s) of getting sex (and lots of other things like money, labor, devotion, loyalty, dependence, etc.) from the participant(s) under the guise of doing something else – like spiritual pursuits or awakening. Or, more simply, the underlying purpose frequently is: how to screw over the seekers that have come to find the Fellowship of Friends, rather than to deliver the goods they claim is their purpose. Classic ‘bait and switch’ kind of game.
The blog has been very well managed, and with scruples, by the Esoteric Sheik of Inner Confusion and much thanks goes to such a person for their continued efforts and time.
on January 7, 2008 at 2:28 am
#6 WhaleRider wrote:
Yesri Baba:
Regarding:
‘I wondered, “If Robert is who he claims to be, why on Earth would he need such an exit strategy? [Referring to the secret passageway from Robert's bedroom.] C-influence would surely protect the anointed one and never allow such a play to occur.
Has he not conquered all his fears?”‘
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
No, the supposed chief feature possibilities: dominance, power, greed, vanity, lunatic, etc., do not need to be worked with
once you become a conscious being. (Didn’t you know? Said tongue in cheek.) But none of those are likely the real chief feature. Fear is more probable and all those others revolve around it, so you might not notice. Kind of like a circus. (The show must go on.) Fear goes with the territory of Mars.
Fear of being exposed. Fear of featurelessness. Fear of nothingness. Fear of fear.
Hello I`m here again after three months, and you are still writing the same.
too many days Identified with this?
there is no more in your head than this things?
have you projects or work or something important to do?
in all time it is better to be present.
You must make something important with your time, rather than to waste it in this identification.
Go Forward.
And forgot the FOF.
Imagine that does not exist.
You can do that.
Dear Hans,
I can see that you are in deep imagination about what the many participants here are doing with their lives 23 1/2 hours per day. I personally spend 15 minutes per day on the blog. When I’m not reading/writing here I am involved with developing my physical/spiritual/mental/emotional/instinctive world. I also enjoy spending a lot of time in creative, and not so creative imagination. Not that I owe you an explanation, just wanted to take you out of your imaginary picture about my life.
If the 15 minutes I spend here can help even one poor soul escape the hopeless environment of the FOF, then I had an impact. This blog opened up my eyes to many things. When I discovered it, I was still a member. It took 3 months of reading the blog to realize there was no choice. I had spent too many years getting nothing significant from my membership. Hans, are you still a member?
Hans 45
Go Forward.
And forgot the FOF.
Imagine that does not exist.
You can do that.
Dear Hans,
what you suggest is exactly what I did over thirteen years ago when I left the fellowship. The fact that I am here now, reading and writing, is a sign that I have in the meanwhile grown stronger, and am at last ready to face this part of my past and reclaim these hidden and forgotten parts of my psyche. I am here to learn about myself and others from our collective mistakes, and to try and help others not to make the same wrong choices.
It is amazingly presumptious on your part to assume that our various occupations and interests can be reduced by our presence in the blog. Personally speaking, I have no doubt that participating here has enriched my life, while leaving plenty of time for all the other usual important and not-so-important activities to continue.
Please believe me, at present you are in no position to clearly evaluate what is going on here and to decipher the bloggers’ feelings and motivations, consequently you are definitely not in a good place to give advice and photographs. I am sorry to say that judging from your approach, you sound positively clueless.
It would be much more helpful if you decided to leave your preacher’s pulpit and rejoin the ranks of humanity, starting with some real personal work on humility and understanding. There’s a lot to be learned and unlearned, and a lot of painful truths to face and explore, but it’s a very rewarding and empowering process, one that can lead you back to yourself. Not to mention that it might lead you to a true spiritual path…
I wish you all the luck with this endeavor.
“Everything decays eventually.”
_________________________
Electronically speaking, people today are still experiencing the same dreams the Pharaohs were fooling around with 4000 years ago: so, yes, the light bulb dies, yet the book written by it….(?)
_________________________
Hans,
It sounds like you’re looking for attention and guidance, how otherwise would you be dragging your slightly ruby colored oozing into these shark happy waters? Not that some sharks are not vegetarian, many sharks eat fish that only eat plants all the time… yet: onwards my good fellow, be brave, grab Whitman by the beard and toss him over the cliff side before Satan asks him to jump… because you know he will…
See, risk is just that (living your deep breathing)… and that’s that… all the rest is ‘rest’, hammock-time. It took me nearly 30 seconds to figure out that Bruce’s ‘avatar’ was not some goth portrait of a skull and rather him working, what a relief!
Yes, the Fellowship of Friends and Robert Earl Burton are “tiny”… more people found out about the ‘tiny’ subject of the atom bomb (after) it was dropped than before the United States assisted in the smuggling out of top German physicists to help them develop and build it after WW2.
What irony; first the Holocaust, then Hiroshima… the letter ‘H’ has had heavy heavenly haphazard headway hither…
_______________________
Whalerider ~
How was ‘Burning Man’: I could not make it due to already being set ablaze before it started (?)
So far as the getting out of the smell of urine… well, now we know what the expensive Gucci cologne is for… thanks for bridging that interval…
Urine smell can be quickly brought to conscious disappearance by the third force and 45th conscious being named ‘Bleach’; if it is old urine saturated and crystallized within Doug Fir, please refer to the next school higher, ‘100% CHLORINE’, of which ‘Bleach’ contains only 5 – 8% of…
________________
l.t.y.a.
I like tulips, dahlias and sun flowers… though not necessarily the ‘Teddy Bear’ variety of sunflowers.
_______________
41 is newly moderated.
WikiFoF: Sure, I will advertise it. It’s a really good idea for a project.
“The idea is to be more concise and factual than this blog.”
______________________________________________
???
You mean you’ll have a Russian polka muscle shirt contest video too?
_________
It’s sobering to see ‘another’ of Robert’s ‘veterans’ keeping an ‘eye’ out; carefully kneeling to inspect the foreclosure-posting-cork-board at the County Courthouse periodically….
Hummmmmm… Anything on there with the address 4444 Rice’s Crossing Road?
_________________
l.t.y.a.
Sheik 27
yes, poor tiny flock, following this hugely problematic shepherd …
what happens when the shepherd is a predator in disguise?
a web of abuse
a religion of fear
a teaching of lies
a school of denial
a travesty of spirit
a tragedy of greed
a bubble of illusions
a regime of deception
a cage of dependence
a parody of knowledge
a system of exploitation
a cover-up of corruption
a wet dream of grandeur
…
Only a leader with no love and no wisdom could give birth to such a sequence of disasters and produce this textbook example of a dysfunctional, self-enclosed, unhealthy, self-referential community.
City of tiny lites
Maybe you should know
That it’s over there
In the tiny dirt somewhere…
Hi No Kid, You’re invaluable here, thank you for participating. Hopefully you will consider not only your own benefits to keeping the stories for yourself but the benefit of others in knowing them. I understand that it is no pleasure to have to remember or state these things.
Hans, Robert used the System to make a cult out of the Fourth Way. It is the most corrupted expression of Fourth Way thinking, feeling and practice. The fear students have of leaving the Fellowship of Friends is the other side of the coin of the constraints they are being submitted to.
The Fourth Way is practical, it cannot help people develop if it is locked up against life. The systems in which separation from life works are extremely demanding and knowledgeable about both individual and life processes. Robert Burton has no knowledge of these processes. He’s been guessing since the moment he was unable to expand his second line of work and became an idol. The magnificence of common “will”, was replaced by the misery of the authoritarian structure and the hierarchy of enablers. The “Cult” is inversely proportionate to the Fourth Way. It not only does not make people conscious, it crystallizes them into a deathning process in which life, love, and vitality are methodically drained out of people. The illnesses we suffered are not accidents, the sorrow we hid is an expression of that drained vitality. The lack of agression with which we accepted and students continue to accept behaving as Robert Burton imposes and the Feminine Dominance of the Fellowship of Friends holds in place, methodically drains people from their own sexual energy, consciousness, sense of self. The development of idolatry for Robert Burton is immediately connected to this process. Our ignorance in this matters is wide and we each tried and try so much to protect and keep the beauty alive but the beauty of the Fellowship of Friends is a silk dress on a putrefying body. Come friends, run, walk, turn, think, be.
Robert Burton will go down in history as one of the men who did more harm to beauty by using it against other human beings to manipulate them sexually and economically. Beauty itself will take care of him in due time. The overstated beauty that Robert Burton imposed in our lives is a pervasive as the understated humaneness with which he stood above us. Every single human being is human enough to no longer have to stand below another. We are all equal in our humanity. The purpose of living today is about balancing those inequalities that we have inherited not about reinforcing them making anyone richer or more powerful. Consciousness will develop as we re-organize our differences through the balancing of our individual centers with both personal effort and social interaction. Nature and matter are there for us to share, HOW we share is what educates us and by how badly we share, we can verify how barbarian we still are in our times. Re-inforcing the old patterns of Kings and servitude is a backward process no matter the excuse. They served their purpose in their time but democracy did not develop in vain. Social democracy still allows for capitalism but the more it refines the more we’ll learn to distrubute not only the material things but the intangible participation of each other’s being in the life around us.
The idolatry of the individual is a passing illness. The idolatry of sports heroes, individual writers, politicians, gurus, artist on and on, will gradually disappear and will be replaced by the balanced presence of each individual willingly participating. The more we understand that we are each of equally great value, the more our instinctive center will allow others to participate without developing closed circles of instinctive artists, politicians, writiers, money makers. No one will want to close the doors to others because we will each know that everytime we close a door, our own self is reduced. Life, all life is a divine gift and we will be joyously grateful to participate in it. We’ll be grateful to those who made money for themselves and taught us what richness was there but we won’t be grateful to those who deprived others from themselves and helped them crystallize in the limbo of their will. These souls will disappear from the evolutionary process as many like them have disappeared. Each generation of human beings is a generation of survivors from such processes. They are both physical and spiritual realities.
There is no need for anyone to lock himself up in the lifeless manipulation of Robert Burton’s sexual desperateness. Your own sexuality is involved in his depraved way. You condone it because you are yourself unaware of the power of your own sexuality, your own being, your own self. Your whole Nation is involved in this process, the whole world is struggling in it. You will not win. You will die with it and the rest of humanity will continue without you. I do not want you to stay behind. I want you to live. And I am not ashamed of my wanting.
Whalerider,
While I was in the Fellowship of Friends I was able, through my own understanding of the System, to love my father with all of mine and his shortcommings. This is an ongoing process for both of us and the older people get, the more tenderness is needed in our relationships. He came to respect the Fellowship as he saw me grow but a few months before I left he called me and said, “You are not who you are, you’ve given half your self away.”
When I told him I had left the Fellowship at the end of a conversation, he said, how dare you wait for the last minute to give me a reason to celebrate for the first time in a long time!
I remembered last night that I lied yesterday in my post. I left the Fellowship first then separated from Girard when he wrote that letter to students. It just felt that it was then that everything had been let go of. Funny that nothing really has been lost and instead of leaving we are just making the right connections.
Much joy and best wishes to you all.
Elena:
Both my parents were happy when I left, too. The Dalai Lama wrote, “Right from the moment of our birth, we are under the care and kindness of our parents and then later on in life when we are oppressed by sickness and become old, we are again dependent on the kindness of others. Since at the beginning and end of our lives we are so dependent on others’ kindness, how can it be that in the middle we neglect kindness toward others?”
unoanimo:
It was Givenchy that worked best…to cover the smells.
Burning Man was fantastic. During the eclipse of the moon at about 2am on the night we arrived, someone torched the man, in protest to how commercial BM had become. (To me, it still seemed about as far from commercial as you’re ever gonna get in America…) My daughter and I ran out onto the playa to watch and saw the fire trucks dosing it. It still got pretty toasted. There was plenty of time for the crew to completely rebuild a new one for the big burn. My kids couldn’t stay awake for it on the night. Nor did they stir when the oil derrick was blown up using a couple of tractor trailer propane trucks to fuel the explosion. Boy, that lit up the night sky! The kids and I made sock monkeys in Kidsville at the sock monkey camp, jumped on trampolines someone set up under a shade tent, and we played playa mini-golf at night. We went to the bookmobile, too. I got to dance like a dervish to someone drumming out in a 60 mph sandstorm. A good time was had by all.
Hans:
“You must make something important with your time, rather than to waste it…”
Some here would argue that the ‘making’ of this blog as a testimony and public document is a very important undertaking and a good investment toward a better future, with one more predator contained and not on the loose. It’s time to drain the victim pool; it’s gotten kind of scummy.
lauralupa:
Rock on. Nice post. I am glad you are here. The flock knows that most wolves are not greedy. For a meal some wolves are content to disguise themselves as sheep; the really dangerous ones want to disguise themselves as shepherds. You can understand a lot about a person from the wake and exhaust they leave from their lives.
Hans I want to ask you some questions.
Who are you?
When I read your writing you seem to wish to want to sound as a German.
German’s are pretty educated and able to speak and write English.
Who are you?
If you live in a center, you have no idea what happened in Isis and still happens. So much is going on now.
The hurt, the realizations, so many more students are opening their eyes. And it hurts.
Hans, they could use your compassion and support.
Make use of YOUR TIME.
Moving on Hans is a moving centered expression, typical American expression…? Do you think I believe you are a foreigner?
Hans, do you believe your Robert Burton is conscious and is a messenger from the Gods, do you?
Call the Berlin group this young group who joined around 1985-1990 and ask all these fellows their stories. Are you able to listen? Are you able to open your heart and not BUFFER?
Ask their girlfriends, after their spouses and boy friends had sex with Robert, who paid the medical bill after they got herpes and different vaginal infections/ e- coli infections (e- coli is the bacteria living in the intestines, but spread around can cause vaginal infections and bladder infections) and had to go through months of antibiotic treatments with side effects like of prolonged infections, adhesions and increased risks of infertility. WHO paid the bill?
Hans, last but not least. There are different degrees in awakening and there are phases. After the initial awakening as Robert calls it, “his crystallization”, the “awaked” needs more work to let go of the ego. If not the “awaked” might crystallize in his ego and use the powers for his own benefit, READ, OWN BENEFIT.
HANS PLEASE WAKE UP, it is time.
46 Hans
Thank you for your suggestion Hans. Now, one for you…GFY, and MYOB.
46 Hans
And please let me know if you need a translation. I wish you to use your time wisely.
I really like mini golf – putt-putt golf. The sock puppets sound good too.
———-
Hans,
“I think Superman and Santa Claus are actually the same guy, and I’ll tell you why: Both fly, both wear red, and both have a beard.” Jack Handey
“sock monkey camp”
_____________________
Yes, ‘Believe It or Not’, this was the impetus for the formation of The Fellowship of Friends: it started one late night, while Robert was snowed in at a ski resort near Lake Tahoe… he had nothing else better to do than to rummage around in the drawers for things left over from previous renters and came across two sock monkey-puppets;
whilst sipping some sort of liquor by the firelight he played ‘I-Left-Robert’ and ‘I-Right-Robert’ all night long… it was sometime near 4:44 AM that it occurred to him by the automatic formation of the old adage ~
“Monkey see, monkey do” and the fact concerning that he’d been playing the ad hoc ‘third person’ for nearly seven hours, that he could do this on a much larger scale and make some money and have some cozy company too… the rest is history and the present too.
__________________
:.)
ak0aka0ka:
Meet me there.
<<<<>>>>>
Hans,
First there is a Santa Claus. Then you find out there really isn’t a Santa Claus. Then you become Santa Claus.
37 Elena
Ah, the new taste of freedom must be sweet! You have been out a short time. I’m so glad you made the right choice. Your home sounds precious. Do they have a Starbucks? :)
Brucelevy- You make me laugh so much!
I’ve changed my avatar to a picture of tulips. I like them also.
zoecan1 at g mail dot com
These days
After a thousand nights of darkness, waiting for the light, and now I see it shining, cannot give it up.
Revelation it is frightening, to reveal what you believe to be you, not ever sure what you seeing, if it is true, if it is true.
But here we all are, beginning from where we are, with all these good intentions, looking for what is true. What is true.
Stumbling these days, trying to slip slide between this and that.
Not really sure of what I am trying to say, is there a purpose or a meaning. Well, maybe yes. Well, maybe no.
In my darkest moments, these days, and for some reason there seem to be too many of those, there is a sense of freedom, a sense of hope. Instead of compliant and supplicant I am belligerent and militant and it feels so good, so right.
Having to learn the art of apology, keep going too far, over the edge, over limit, out of bounds, and it feels so good, so right.
Claiming my self, reclaiming my self.
Yes, but ready to give it all up in a heartbeat for the light, for the light. For that light.
But me still walking in so many shadows.
Illuminate me, Illuminate me.
H and H
Cake
9 Psychic
If Robert Burton is a model for “awakening” and “medium” between you and the Gods, then fuck this awakening, you and your Gods.
9 Psychic / 46 Hans
“The shit by any other name would smell the same”
Shakxray44
more Cake please….pretty please, with an organic cherry on top? I’ll be your friend. Let us eat cake! We want cake! Tell us more about Cake.
39 No kid
I have been reading the postings and I am fairly speechless. I see love and pain and growth and anger and fun and humor and, for most of you, deep compassion and friendship with one another. And, as a group, you are quite the wordsmiths ….. the books, plays, music and poems that will come from some of you ………
Now, back to a topic that I have brought up before and I am responding somewhat to No Kid.
I am wondering how any of you that left in adolescence, without your parents’ or your families’ support, survived? (Yes, there is a sociologist [and others] who is wondering what the counties could do to assist kids leaving such groups but first the professionals need to know just what the needs are.) What about the younger kids? Did they, while in the group, have adults who looked after them, have a child-centered schedule of good meals, school, play-time, medical care, being able to play sports with kids not involved with “FofF” and just plain kid fun? Do the high-school-aged kids get an education to prepare them for college or university or further trade/arts education? What is a day in the life of a kid like?
Someone once said, “The measure of a society is how the members care for the most vulnerable.” In a previous post here, someone alluded to a similar thought. So, I am just asking. If anyone wants to contact me to contact them privately, that is fine. I am neither a journalist nor a writer nor an attorney. Just a teacher.
The people who are critical to Psychic, what do you do to live in the moment? Do you believe that living in the moment is important? Do you not know that you are mostly are sleep? In imagination, or negative, or identified?
Leaving RB or FOF aside, can you make the necessary efforts on your own to live a more conscious life? Or do you think you do not need to make efforts to be more conscious? Do you think you are already conscious?
You all may be compassionate, loving, giving, thoughtful, successful, and appreciate beauty but is that presence?
Hey Fatboy-
If I could hack my way onto the Propylaia message board (fof website), do you think I would be very effective if I started posting messages to all the members of FOF telling them they were nice enough people, but all completing existing under the influence of self hypnosis, chasing their own tails year after year.
If you stop being identified with making an effort, then maybe you’ll finally experience something that you won’t insist others need to experience.
Fat Boy,
There is no point in “arguing” with the Lower Self; ours or others’, for this is exactly how the Lower Self finds its way to act.
It is obvious why this negativity against the School and the Teacher has popped-up in the last months. It is because the new level the Teaching has reached, has left no attractive matters for the Lower Self to deal with.
Now one has to focus only on presence and derive everything from it, even the Nine of Hearts has to surrender to presence. The Lower Self does not like that at all because it has no more pleasing attractions.
Many of those who are now so negative against the School were its fundamental supporters for many years, some of them were supporting the School 20-25 years. Those who left failed to understand that it is a School for awakening and not a for example a Community. So for example, those who imagined that the School should be a Utopian community became identified when they found out it is not.
There is no point and there is no need to make any attempt to persuade any of those who are negative against the School to see things differently. I am posting here merely for those who are seeking Divine Presence and enter this bolg.
A student who recently joined said she has read the blog before joining and felt a strong patronizing standpoint like saying “Don’t join for we know what’s best for you.” She said she thought it was ridiculous.
The School is the best thing that has ever occurred in my life and yet there are so many who know how bad and dangerous it is for me…:) should we argue against it? No, there is no need to do that.
Love and presence,
Psychic
Fat Boy…your questions are fair but familiar. It has been said many times to such questions, but I will say it again, using slightly different language. What makes you think that it is not possible to silently witness, what you would call the lower-self, going about its business? Denying the lower-self does not make you conscious. Accepting it and watching it express itself; well that is a real step forward. As Steve said, being identified with effort can equally keep you where you are. Try to relax and if you’ve got the knack, see what happens.
Similarly, refining your lower-self is not a sign of progress and it most certainly will not help you to see what you really are. I recommend Whalerider’s middle-self.
More particularly, I found when I was in the Fellowship of Friends that I spent a rather large part of my time observing others. Hey, I could tell you a person’s body type, centre of gravity, chief feature, alchemy and all that shit. Needless to say that left little time for me to see myself.
So Fat boy, let me leave you with a present. As you read the end of this post, what moves in you?
Ho hum.
Fat Boy
Those questions have been answered many times in many creative ways.
One must assume it it is like a man trying to explain something to a monkey.
You are brainwashed. You are looking at it all crazy.
There is no moment to be in. There is only you.
Deleted on request of the author. — ES
Psychsick
That’s two.
I hope that means you won’t be posting on the next page.
if music be the food of love…
http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=ER1oqgZ_Ehs
sorry for the double entry. My computer had the hiccups, probably because Yb (hi Yesri!) and I were posting at the same time.
Sheik, can you please delete one of my duplicate posts?
Hello fatboy ~
Are you being critical of the people being critical?
Irony is one doorway between the conscious and the unconscious meanderings of our daily psychic mish-mash of
exquisite observations kinetically plumped together like Thanksgiving leftovers in a microwave set on high for 60 seconds…
I particularly like the leg…
bon appetite!
:.)
Hello Psychic (said in the same voice as Seinfeld saying; “hello Newman”)
You said; “Those who left failed to understand that it is a School for awakening and not a for example a Community. So for example, those who imagined that the School should be a Utopian community became identified when they found out it is not.”
Why do you think you have all the answers about why 10,000 people left the “school”? Have you not read that Robert Burton bummed a lot of hetero sexual men out when he tried to have, or actually did have sex with them? What kind of buffers do you work with? Are you out of your mind? Please tell me what the new “student” had to say about Robert’s orgies. I’m not kidding. What did she have to say?
Did you people check out the new website at
http://fellowshipoffriends.wikispaces.com/ ?
I did, and although it’s still a work in progress, it seems to me quite thorough and well organized.
Thanks to WikiFoF and whoever else is making this effort (assuming you are doing this in Presence, of course, and remember, don’t let the sneaky Nine of Hearts distract you!)
“It is obvious why this negativity against the School and the Teacher has popped-up in the last months. It is because the new level the Teaching has reached, has left no attractive matters for the Lower Self to deal with.”
_________________________________
And I thought it was due to the unflinching stability of the beginning and continued tenaciousness of this blog site not to be a bunch of red water hydrants who allow Robert Burton and various hierarchical spiritual wannabes to go doglegging on the ‘less fortunate’ ones on smaller summed lifetimes than their 9th (?)
Thanks for the clarification psychic, but, no thanks…
_________________________________________
“Now one has to focus only on presence and derive everything from it, even the Nine of Hearts has to surrender to presence. The Lower Self does not like that at all because it has no more pleasing attractions.”
_________________________________________
I wonder psychic what part of your ‘higher self’ maintains the need to capitalize “Lower Self” and “Nine of Hearts”… it seems to me that your so called “presence” is better labeled “pretense for the possibilities of presence” and is stuck (IMO) in the conceptual and affirmative badlands where Mel Gibson still tots a sawed off shot gun and walks with that mid-thirties swagger he had then…
See, truly, whatever you ‘think’ we hold important on this blog site (which happens to fall on the ‘formatory’ opposite side (negating) of the psychic barrier wall Robert Burton has copulated in between your ears, brick by brick…) is (if whoever here writing whatever they’re writing holds onto the ‘idea’ or ’signpost’ as the actual destination) in no better shape than those still in the Fellowship of Friends, at least spiritually speaking (IMO)…
So, complain away about the obvious and we’ll do the same concerning the not so obvious; I will meet you on the other side nonetheless when you’ve run out of concepts and affirmations and only have fire left to lite an infant sun and begin another solar system.
________________________
l.t.y.a.
Many people are too scared to hear the ‘truth’ (Hans, Psychic), that Robert Burton teaching is a total failure, they will go on believing the story of the lower self because all in all is comfortable….it is always the same old story in all the common religions (Satan, the devil, there is always an enemy to combat with, to fight with).
The possibility that this is not the way things are is to frightening because you are left with nothing…..
Nisargadatta’s message is not for all.
You have to be ready to renounce to yourself.
The most common misconception about ‘awakening’ is that it is something an individual can gain. But awakening is a loss – the loss of the sense that there ever was a separate individual who could choose to do something to bring about liberation.
When it is seen that there is no separation, the sense of vulnerability and fear that attaches to the individual falls away and what is left is the wonder of life just happening. Instead of meaning there is a squirrel motionless on a grey tree trunk, legs splayed, head up, looking straight at you. Instead of purpose there is the astonishing texture of cat’s fur or the incredible way an ant crawls over a twig.
When the sensation that I am in control of my life and must make it happen ends, then life is simply lived and relaxation takes place. There is a sense of ease with whatever is the case and an end to grasping for what might be.
*
Many so-called teachers suggest that there is someone who can do something to heal their sense of separation; in other words that there is a person who is able to discover that they are not a person. The absurdity of this idea is often camouflaged by highly complex and subtle thinking. Teachings about non-duality frequently present the seductive idea that liberation can be realised through an evolutionary spiritual path. This has no actual connection with non-duality but it can offer us a convincing, although completely meaningless, story about it.
From this story arise the many paths, doctrines, techniques, gurus, teachers, mantra-salesmen, workshops and groups which make up the spiritual bazaar.
Any way of searching may lead to a person being more comfortable. But that is all you get. You get a person who is more comfortable in their prison. If you are in prison, it’s far better to be comfortable but that doesn’t get the person out of the prison they perceive themselves to be in.
Nothing will get the person out of their prison because the person is the prison. When the person drops away, it is seen that there never was a prison in the first place.
Then it is seen that ‘I’ am the light in which everything arises. And so are ‘you’.
*
In liberation it is seen that all phenomena simply arise in awareness with no person mediating them. Purpose, morality, religion and paths of spiritual development all lose their meaning when it is seen that there is no one who exercises choice or who has responsibility.
*
Wouldn’t you like to know?:
http://video.google.com/googleplayer.swf?docId=5547481422995115331&hl=en
This might be of interest…
http://beyondtheblog.wordpress.com/2008/01/06/the-guru/
A belated Happy New Year…
Exclusive video of two prospective students upon meeting RB.
Pensate un attimo:
Very well said and I couldn’t agree more. Thank you for those words.
I think the reason it frightens people to think that we are ‘all one’ is that it puts the responsibility back on us to fix all these things that were messed up by us, environment, government, et al. It is both scary and exhilarating to realize that we have the capability to fix things.
Right now there’s a very interesting political race going on right now in the United States that is a great example of this where the candidates themselves have either a greater or lesser sense that their words and ideas have the capacity to change the direction of things.
I believe this ‘awakening’ is happening for the preservation of the planet because so many things need to be corrected. It is an exciting time for us all, in or out of the fellowship.
82 ton: Well worth reading.
78 Lauralupa: I didn’t know it existed. Thanks. It’s looking pretty good!
67 Fat Boy: “Do you not know that you are mostly asleep? In imagination, or negative, or identified?”
Actually I’m not. It’s exactly that attitude that keeps YOU asleep.
69 Psychic: “It is because the new level the Teaching has reached, has left no attractive matters for the Lower Self to deal with.”
If you can believe believe this obvious nonsense you have lost any ability to distinguish between truth and lies.
“Those who left failed to understand that it is a School for awakening and not a for example a Community.”
I left because I realised that it is NOT a school for awakening, but in fact a community that promotes sleep, greed, dependency, etc.
One idea I really like is “external consideration” trying to get out of our own little head and consider the effect that our actions might have on others.
People have different needs some need more structure, some dislike structure and therefore rail against it, although chaos too has an underlying structure which is not as readily perceived.
Trying to convince someone who has a need for structure that it is completely unnecessary is like trying to put out a fire with petrol.
Sometimes our actions end up having the opposite effects than the ones we are trying to create because we haven’t thought them through enough to begin with.
Often because we are more concerned with convincing others that we are right.
So ultimately our apparent concern can be only selfishness in a nice dress.
—————————————————————————R e the petition.
we are working behind the curtain to ensure the safety of anyone choosing to sign it from prosecution.
Its going well.
all the best
Jack.
Nuthead: For a head full of nuts you are right on. Thank you!
Big Bear huge to all!
Big Bear hug to all! Whoops!
Wha?
zoecan1: : Your avatar is just a black square.
66 Pamela Lichtenwalner
Those are all good questions and hopefully we will hear some answers. Lady B mentioned before that when conversations like yours come up, there are always distractions from FoFers to avoid any dialog on the subject. I also have to wonder about the town of Oregon House. Does the whole town turn a blind eye on it all? Do they profit by being “ignorant”?
93 Thanks, I was monkeying around with it. Hope I have it figured out soon!
Bruce-
Wayyyyyyyy too funny.
zoecan1:
Cute sock monkey! A face only a mother could love. Seeing that gave me a good laugh. Yup, only takes two socks, some yarn, couple of buttons, and some stuffin’ to make one. And some time to yourself. Thanks for that.
Oh my God that sock monkey is too cute!
A must reading for people who want to understand a cult leader/ guru.
http://beyondtheblog.wordpress.com/2008/01/06/the-guru/
Thanks Ton
Psychic psychopath enabler:
You make me want to puke. Seriously. There is no sense arguing with the higher self either! It’s always right and the lower self is always wrong. So, Yea, Ra Ra for the higher self! We all need one.
But when one attempts to be more one side of oneself than the other, holier than thou or badest of bad, don’t you find that rocks the boat back and forth a bit more widely than expected, keeping one’s equilibrium out of balance, and leaving one to feel like one cannot make enough efforts alone to sustain those elusive higher states? At the end of the day aren’t you left with more self doubt rather than less?
To elevate the higher self, one needs the mass of a real school to permanently press down upon the other end of the see-saw where the lower self is seated, you would say. The more involved and financially invested you become in the form of the school, the more weight the school accumulates in your life to help that bad lower self side of the see-saw stay in check and help keep the higher self elevated at any cost.
But even in your highest higher state of consciousness that you have experienced in the past 35 years, your lower self was there along with you to enjoy it and store the experience. That’s upon whose door the higher self has to knock to recreate the right combination of conditioned feelings and sensations associated with moments of divine pretense…er…I mean, ‘presence’…and to assign the state meaning and importance for the ego to recognize it as such. What gift will you be offering when the door opens or are you going to talk trash about your host?
For goodness sake, don’t shoot yourself in the foot by demonizing your lower or any part of yourself. It will only lead to depression or anxiety, your choice. You need both feet working properly to chop wood and carry water.
Instead of ‘either-or’, good or bad, why not let’s meet in the middle? In the middle kingdom…where the voice of moderation, acceptance, understanding, and compassion come from. The middle self. A center point where you can step back, relax, feel a little more balanced, and mesh in with ordinary life more without so much righteousness and identification with form.
Circles can expand or contract; the center remains the same. That’s an advantage over a constantly shifting focus of awareness. You can process and cycle through your feelings faster by centering your awareness at the hub of the wheel of your life…rather than at the fulcrum of a see-saw that has to keep shifting away from your higher self and conscience…and closer to your lower self because of the increasing mass of shit on the Fellowship of Friends side that you have to counter balance out in order to remain a follower.
Your higher and lower self are like Siamese Twins joined at the heart, anyway. They need to learn to get along or life will be miserable for both and the whole system suffers. The higher self is great, but it can’t beat your heart for you. And you better make peace with your immune system or else! By the same token, your lower self needs constant care, limit setting, and the divided attention of your higher self or it can make itself ill through neglect or by overindulging in whatever gives it a buzz.
Meet me in the middle. Where your heart is. That’s what the Sufis practice. From the heart.
(BTW, if one of the Siamese Twins becomes a goddess, does that mean the other can become a satyr? I don’t think so. How could those two share the same heart?)
Fat boy:
Of course you can generate enough effort on you own to sustain higher states without a school, IF (big if) you have assembled and incorporated the fragments of the fourth way in a manner that is practical for you to do so in ordinary circumstances, not specialized ones!
Go attract a livelihood that demands you have more divine presence, if that’s what you are after, (and I am not talking about becoming a male prostitute or a fourth way teacher, either), you go figure out for yourself in your own way what works best for you. You don’t have to prove anything to anybody. Become a virtuoso mystic. Eventually you will fly by yourself only when you let go of what’s holding you down.
Whalerider: “For goodness sake, don’t shoot yourself in the foot by demonizing your lower or any part of yourself. It will only lead to depression or anxiety, your choice. You need both feet working properly to chop wood and carry water.”
Precisely!
Hello, Bloggers.
#42 Zoecan1 wrote:
“No Kid, I’m just curious. Were you ever read “The Hobbit” as a bedtime story?”
No Kid responds:
What an odd question. Why do you ask? I, too, am curious. To your question, though: I have read it but as far as I can remember, it was not read *to* me. I had stories read to me only as a very little kid – but not after the FoF. Ummm…who exactly would have been reading me bedtime stories? I read to myself, tucked myself in and kissed myself goodnight.
#44 Associated Press wrote:
“No Kid, I was kidding when I ask, ‘Do you see any scruples?’”
No Kid responds:
Ohhh…okay. I got the pun but the rest of the joke passed unrecognized through my brain. A hazard of text communication…no facial expressions. D’oh!
#53 Elena wrote:
“Hi No Kid, You’re invaluable here, thank you for participating. Hopefully you will consider not only your own benefits to keeping the stories for yourself but the benefit of others in knowing them. I understand that it is no pleasure to have to remember or state these things.”
No Kid responds:
Thank you for the welcome, Elena. If I were only considering my *own* benefits, I might be more willing to post more details. There are other people to consider, however. Pursuit of pleasure and avoidance of discomfort have nothing to do with it. BTW: I am also…no coward.
On another note, Elena, while I do appreciate your welcome, before you get too friendly with me, you may want to consider the fact that I am homosexual. You (and a few others) have said some very nasty things about us. You could easilly counter that by pointing out that you were only talking about RB. But I have been paying attention. It is not just about RB. It is a lot more general than that. You could also counter it by pointing out that you consider yourself bisexual. Fine. But bisexuality in a woman does not mean that she cannot be hateful towards gay men. If I have misinterpreted your intent, okay. But the *difference between intent and effect* are as great as the difference between male and female sexual sensibilities or between apple pies and orange traffic cones. I wish you only the best, but you will perhaps understand why I may choose to keep my distance.
#66 Pamela Lichtenwalner wrote:
“…I am responding somewhat to No Kid.
I am wondering how any of you that left in adolescence, without your parents’ or your families’ support, survived?”
No Kid responds:
I cannot speak for any of the other kids. I have not seen or heard from or about any of them since I was a kid. I can speak for myself. When I was still very young (ie: underage to work legally) I did some things that I am now ashamed to admit.
I knew how to dress well and how to eat at a well-set table. I was also slim and athletic enough to slip through windows. So I would eat in restaurants and never return from trips to the bathroom. In the front door, out the bathroom window. I would occassionally slip into windows as well….businesses only, for the petty cash and blank checks. I had “screw pulls” and would not go into people’s houses. I also learned how to hack cash machines. I think that is a lot more difficult now than it once was, but I don’t know for a fact. It has been many many years since I engaged in that kind of behavior. What else? Hmmm…”lost” luggage pays pretty well. Please understand that I am not proud of any of this. I was raised with the “above the law” FoF dictum – but that is *no* excuse whatsoever.
Then I discovered sugar-Daddies. Ah, yes. Nice generous older men from whom I learned a lot (including how *not* to be an amoral little petty criminal) and to whom I am eternally grateful. After I was old enough to work legally, I worked my tail off, doing all sorts of things. I started building a solid family of friends, who understood but would not tolerate either my amorality or my self-destructiveness. I made a lot of mistakes, but eventually I got an education, a home, a moral center and …well…a clue. I am now well-respected in my professional field and well-connected politically and well-loved personally.
#66 Pamela Lichtenwalner wrote further:
“(Yes, there is a sociologist [and others] who is wondering what the counties could do to assist kids leaving such groups but first the professionals need to know just what the needs are.)”
No Kid responds:
That might work for some kids. It *never* would have occurred to me to seek out government assistance of any kind. My mind did not, and does not, work that way. I am *way* too independent. I got *individual* help from the friends I made. And now, I help other kids. Not cult kids, but gay kids kicked out and/or traumatised by unhelpful families. I help the kids who eat out of garbage cans and sleep in parks (which I also did) and do survival sex. The independent fierce ones, who I have to “tame” (I am not talking about sex) before they will trust me. But the ones who sit their butts down on the sidewalk with a can and a sign get only a LOOK – which they understand 100%. Lots of these kids will run into predators, become addicted, seroconvert and die before they can vote. My old pals from my rough days are all dead. I survived – but not without help. So I am saving the savable ones – one kid at a time.
#66 Pamela Lichtenwalner wrote further:
“What about the younger kids? Did they, while in the group, have adults who looked after them, have a child-centered schedule of good meals, school, play-time, medical care, being able to play sports with kids not involved with “FofF” and just plain kid fun?”
No Kid responds:
No. Not when I was in. Maybe the children of the more peripheral members, but not the ones I knew. But that was a long time ago. I am sure that things are different now. I do not know if they are better, but the conditions are surely very different.
#66 Pamela Lichtenwalner wrote further:
“Do the high-school-aged kids get an education to prepare them for college or university or further trade/arts education? What is a day in the life of a kid like?”
No Kid responds:
You are asking what happens now? I have no idea. I am not privy to any of that. Other people here probably are. Please understand that I was looong gone before most of the people here were ever involved….
…because I am, after all,
No Kid
69 Psychic: “A student who recently joined said she has read the blog before joining and felt a strong patronizing standpoint like saying “Don’t join for we know what’s best for you.” She said she thought it was ridiculous.”
This is quite funny, also disturbing. The phrase “A student who recently joined” is meant to give the impression that FoF business goes on as usual, with plenty of new recruits. Of course, we know this is not true. But whichever fanatic is writing this tripe has no qualms about lying to protect their “beloved” school and teacher.
It’s also meant to show us that people can read the blog and still join. Personally I find this almost unbelievable. I certainly would not have joined if I had been told at the time what RB was up to – it was only years later that this knowledge seeped into my awareness. What sort of halfwit would join a pseudo-spiritual group like the FoF in full knowledge of the leader’s uselessness as a teacher and ghastly personal failings?
Last but not least: the blog has a “patronising” standpoint?? And the FoF doesn’t???
103 Nuthead
“A student who recently joined said she has read the blog before joining and felt a strong patronizing standpoint like saying “Don’t join for we know what’s best for you.” She said she thought it was ridiculous.”
I don’t believe it either. Unless the “new student” is fucked up in a big way and seeks out the most dysfunctional venues they can find.
It’s likely it’s pure bullshit. But who would expect otherwise from these jerkoffs
Thanks Allan and Whale rider for you answers and suggestions.
Unoanimo, I am not trying to be critical but just curious how others once they leave the FOF can still find that thread of consciousness. Maybe, this aim is not for them anymore, that is fine. For me, still with some of the crazy teaching and the stories of RB, I feel being here is helping me present to my life. With a School, there are reminders. When out in “life” there are less reminders. Maybe others see no difference, that is fine. But I do.
Steve L, first this blog is open to everyone and the Propylia is not, so don’t get your comment. But what you say about effort is correct, and that is something I am trying to understand more. What I mean is sometimes when we are beating our heads and forcing ourselves and think this is effort is just incorrect. Effort may not be a correct word, maybe inspiration, for entering the present should be gentle, but the problem is that we or me forget, and need reminders. I do think the key is effort, but how we appoach this concept can be different. One analogy is if your driving down the straight highway, no effort is necessary, but if driving in strong winds and rain, one has to be intentinal and make efforts!
Dear Whalerider,
You wrote:
“Circles can expand or contract; the center remains the same. That’s an advantage over a constantly shifting focus of awareness. You can process and cycle through your feelings faster by centering your awareness at the hub of the wheel of your life…rather than at the fulcrum of a see-saw that has to keep shifting away from your higher self and conscience…and closer to your lower self because of the increasing mass of shit on the Fellowship of Friends side that you have to counter balance out in order to remain a follower.”
Excellent. Thank you!
Re: ~ 106 steve lang
I’m with you on that.
*
Re: ~ 100 WhaleRider:
The Psychic psychopath enabler part:
To sum it up simply:
There is no need to run outside
For better seeing,
Nor to peer from a window.
Rather abide
At the center of your being;
For the more you leave it,
the less you learn.
Search your heart and see
If he is wise
who takes each turn:
The way to do is to be.
The Tao Te Ching
by Lao Tzu
Witter Bynner version
*
Re: ~ 102 No Kid:
2nd #66 Pamela Lichtenwalner wrote further:
‘So I am saving the savable ones – one kid at a time.’
Mother Teresa, when ask how she was going to save
the enormous multitudes needing help, replied,
‘One person at a time.’
“A student who recently joined said she has read the blog before joining and felt a strong patronizing standpoint like saying “Don’t join for we know what’s best for you.” She said she thought it was ridiculous.”
________________________
Oh yes, I believe it by a real person… I know who this was that said this, she had just finished her (fourth) perspective student meeting and let out this exclamation; it was promptly tape recorded and written down (with a hand made swan quill from one of those in the Gate House Pond) in the ‘Fourth Perspective Student Meeting Quote ‘Don Quixote’ Ledger’…
As you know, traditionally there’s only three meetings; the fourth was recently added to celebrate the grimly luminous fact that the Fellowship of Friends now has a President and a Teacher named ‘Robert’, R & R for short or Short Be…
The Fourth meeting is where the student smokes crack and listens to old Grand Master Flash records backwards while learning to cut and sell pirated keys on an underground Ebay site run by the Russian Mafia…
Can’t wait to find out about that Fifth meeting planned…
Ummmm…
‘Better to be a fly on the wall in a room full of hungry frogs, than a twice used condom under a predator’s pillow.’
Quote from ~ The Ancient Hymn-line of the Beechwood Smoked Choral Section of Hickory Farms Wiccan Division.
_____________
:.)
For the last couple of months I’ve been seeing a therapist who has been helping me reintegrate the parts of my being that were cut off by my time in the FoF.
She lent me a book called The Erotic Mind, by Jack Morin, from which: “Erotic conflicts during childhood and adolescence can split our lustful from our tender feelings”.
In fact my sex life was normal till I joined the FoF. I don’t see any great problems stemming from my childhood. But in the FoF I walked straight into the “sex exercise”: you shouldn’t have sex until you’re married. Although I was 30 years old, in some ways I was still a child, at least in relation to the FoF: naive, innocent, trusting. All my natural instincts of common sense and self preservation were put on hold in the belief that this was the Way to become enlightened.
So my lustful feelings were split from my tender feelings. Sex became associated with transgression. It was only exciting if there was a forbidden aspect. I could “love” my fellow students, but “infra sex” was verboten.
How much more extreme was this for those heterosexual males who were induced to have sex with their lovely (male) teacher, and for those lusty girls who had sex with their teacher’s pets and were banished if discovered?
Why do FoF students now seem weak and half human? What sense do we get of the being of Psychic and Fat Boy from their writings?
The good news: recovery is possible!
Psychic psychopath enabler:
(Those) “who imagined that the School should be a Utopian community became identified when they found out it is not.”
I re-read your post. Nicely wedged implication there, I almost missed it. (You remind me of Howard Carter from Luxor.) Not only was the School not a Utopian community, many found out it was not a School either. Sure, it was run by some guy calling himself the teacher, but the truth is it was his rape factory.
Peace and presence to you, too. Party’s over, though. Better have plan B ready.
POINTS NEVER BEEN DISCLOSED BEFORE AND AFTER JOINING THE CULT
There are number of success stories when Divine Presence, which Psychopathic Psychic talks about, was excavated with bare hands from bottom of the Teacher’s anus.
It is also known that one is more awaken while urinating straight in Teacher’s mouth in his bathroom. Higher states occurs when orgies of six are been conducted in the Galleria Brothel after dinners.
Herpes, shortness of breath, fainting, chest pain and unstable heartbeats caused by an extensive use of Viagra will constantly remind you of your Presence.
To enhance your “Long Be/Short Be/Steward” thing, before performing “Third Line Duty” for the Teacher, you’ll be invited to a Vine Cellar dinner at the Galleria, where a heavy beef stake, bottle of red Renaissance wine along with 100 mg blue diamond shaped tablet will serve you as a buffer to the waiting nightmare and it’ll help you to surrender to an ugly, fake and predatory smile of your Beloved Teacher.
You will be lonely.Your thoughts and behavior will be controlled and manipulated by FOF officials. Your money will be taken away constantly (you soon will discover what been a cow really means). Your mental and physical health will decline. Cancer will rise from an escalated inner conflicts between your heart and your brainwashed mind. Fear and depression will become your close companions.
In suicidal thought you’ll find hope and salvation.
Nuthead,
I don’t really think the sex exercise stopped you from intimate relationships and sex. The instinctive center is smart and even I tried to keep to the exercise but broke it anyway, and when I did try to keep it; I found ways of sexual expression other than intercourse. I am sorry that it effected you so strongly.
FOF is confusing, including RB, I will not defend them. All I can say I want to be happy; and at the same time to experience the moment to its fullest with presense. If happiness is not possible then at least I can settle for presence if I have the will for it.
I want to recover also, but it has nothing to do with the theme of FOF or this blog, but thank you for being positive about recovery. I always thought my father was an asshole, actually he was; but the problem is I blamed him for this for over twenty years. The moment I stopped blaming him then I saw him differntly and the suffering that I thought I got from him actually was not so.
So, on this blog, the writing that I see too much is blameing RB and the FOF for the misery some of you might have suffered. Sorry I don’t buy it. I also don’t buffer that RB and students in the school can make mistakes.
Nuthead, I don’t profess that I understand about the sex center, but the writings on this blog take on the mainstream of our current societies feminine dominance of sex and what it is suppose to be like. Being human is a complex phenomena and right and wrong is very subjective.
Fat Boy
Cheers, but I don’t “blame” RB, I just seem him as he is, a corrupt old loony, nor am I experiencing “misery”, I’m just living life as it is – beautiful, actually. There’s really no need or you to keep apologizing.
112 fat boy
Haven’t we had this exact conversation with you at least five other times. Are you in need of another attention fix? Things too boring in your divine life. Why don’t you give us a fucking break and come up with something new?
FOR you to keep apologizing.
Fat boy, you invariably show up when Psycho does. You don’t find that odd, or suspicious, or even pathetic? You guys are really greaseballs.
OK Nuthead, no more apologies; I guess I misinterpreted your posting. Generally when One sees a therapist there are problems and I was just conveying my sympathy to you.
Bruce, you might also think about comming up with something new!; rather than your degrading and intimidating responses!
Fat Boy
Bruce may be being degrading and intimidating in response to you being superficial, evasive, phonily positive, illogical, patronising, dishonest…….I could go on, but it’s getting late.
112 fat boy
You feel degraded and intimidated? I would think you would have transcended that after all your years becoming a “new man”.
Hello ‘fatboy’ ~
IMO, it’s ‘right’ enough to “profess” your own experiences of “your” sex center and not ‘The Sex Center’; I too have never actually met a Sex Center outside its host, let me know when you see one and we’ll camo up and try and catch it live on video and post it on YouTube, perhaps it’s Bigfoot… ‘Who Knows’?
Reading your post reminds me of a diagram I came across recently while going through the mountain of receipts, memo pad sticky notes, etc. in the process of filing my taxes:
it was a picture of the ad infinitum sign (an elongated number ‘8′ turned on its side) with another little one above it, to its right side, i.e., squaring it thus or ad infinitum squaring ad infinitum…
Imagination does not satisfy all centers, actually it poisons them… another Fellowship of Friends corruption, as if Liver Transplants are a ‘normal’ consequence to being a Connoisseur of fine ‘tannin-ic as hell’ wine…
________
The Fellowship of Friends in Organ House is a process, that’s all; there’s no aim than to walk straight through all of it;
BTW, you’re doing it anyway, whether you like it or not, the body walks every day while oftentimes your spirit stands still and pees on your own shoes; but hey, that’s what those fancy rubber slip on thingy’s are for, right?
________
This thing you talk about concerning the sex exercise not stopping ones sexual walkabout’s, well, that’s your Mercurial story-ness, not another’s and I believe it’s rather unfair to lay on thick the shadow of the three Undead Graces, Could, Should and Would…
Many spirits inhabiting certain conflictive masses of bones, nerve centers, muscle, glandular systems and too, dealing and not dealing with various pseudo-spiritual thought forms trickling down it all like hot fudge on a sundae left on top of ones speeding away car’s roof, tend to be outright terrified of being the ‘town witch’ or ‘caught’,
hence,
lots of damned up beautiful rivers due to overzealous beavers with nothing better to do than to castrate unruly ‘trees’ on behalf of Robert Burton’s either not being able to have them or had them and had problems having had them and so on…
(not to mention the fact that these ‘beavers’ spend considerable time chewing on the tree themselves before felling occurs: don’t forget fatboy, profit is not marginal in the Fellowship of Friends, it is a must!)
_________
Fatboy; how long (approx.) have you lived in Organ House and do you really know the deep undercurrents of the inner-circle and inner, inner circle, the bodies this ‘current’ has secretly swept out to sea, to remain deeply anonymous in the Green Waters, i.e., saturated with monies and shame, lack of funds and enough practical-sanity for legal pursuits?
The more I read your posts I begin to understand that you do not ‘really’ know the deeper situations taking place within the launching pads of Robert Burton’s sweaty palms, how ‘things’ are ‘really’ done behind closed doors and after hours…
See, without truly wishing to sound too ‘I know because I know that you don’t know’, well dammit, I do and have pretty much sensed and seen it all in numerous friends lives, so far as the repercussions of the varied abuses, physically and psychologically dealt out by both Robert Burton and his “enablers” while allowing these ‘effects’ to speak for themselves, not buffering them with labels and putting the stories through canned-food-lid sealing machines…
Vanity labels what does not justify its in-the-moment picture of itself, i.e., that it always has the appropriate level of being to fit any level of situation or degree of another’s suffering; labeling is its failsafe mechanism; labels are moot and by default never fail to reaffirm that indeed it is the Lower Self, while ‘presence’ remains spelled as an un-capitalized word…
_________
When you say “I want to recover”… what do you wish to recover? How not stay naked? Geez, it takes long enough to get uncovered by the vacuousness of ‘Worldly Togetherness and “Structure”… to want to re-cover it???
Suit yourself, just try and make it one that resembles something classy and not the Burton Pimp Daddy look…
IMO, on this blog, it’s not so much about blame, it’s about transformation and bringing understanding and togetherness ‘together’ so to make ‘conscious’ connections between personal, interpretive ‘my little world’ feelings and objective facts that move the heart in a real in-the-moment way; this ‘heart’ is moving through all of us,
(it’s not about yesterday or tomorrow or progress reports from 44 magnum gun shots),
to de-exclusive-ize oneself and to return one’s Fourth Way soul-desires back into Life from whence it was originally destined to go and ‘WORK’;
away from the enormous sperm, KY-stained mirror that Robert Burton waxes and wanes upon every Sunday morning as he ‘humbly, hunch-ing-ly’ walks across (dressed only in a bath robe) the galleria and into the hallway-bath to take a shower while 10 – 15 fully dressed “enablers” ready the room for his ‘Commercials’;
I say ‘commercial’ cause the real TV Show is taking place before and after the smoke-screen-sit-down up front and of course the ‘Johnny Carson Video Taping Routine’ just makes the affirmation even for affirmative, as if crack cocaine is not good enough, they go and add some acid to it (?);
hence, the ‘I am on good dope’ look in peoples faces as they affirmatively peer on into his left eye with their left eye, while the right eye is screaming ~
‘WTF, aren’t it binocular, binocular?’
Of course, (subliminally) that one eye thing sure works on the primordial side of common-senses-life right? After all all predators have their eyes up front and personal;
can’t go having the hunted hunting the hunter can we?
___________
Though ’see’, this is what Robert Burton wants, he wants ‘baby screams’, after all, ‘Mother Goddesses know best’ and the baby abides so long as it is ‘lifted’ out of the shit its gotten its diapers into due to the indigestible food its been fed hours prior by the diaper-changer itself, right?
Not that I care to be ‘right’, though, truly, IMO, any ‘conscious teaching’ that ripens only in the future or another lifetime for the “enabler’s” being-basket or stresses by making more and more efforts, ‘that you’ll be blessed with an inert, zero gravity cocoon state of affairs (‘divine hibernation’)
or more realistically a silk tie from a few hundred of them woven-wrought from having boiled the larvae within), so to keep the struggle the aim and not the successes,
not the student’s being-built, allowed to breathe and express its being-ness, instead, its wings are routinely clipped and kept beneath Robert Burton’s level of being; similar to the old rule that ~ ‘No building’s roof will be higher than the church’s spire: thank god for smoke though’…
I wonder what the new female, Fellowship of Friends student thinks about the need of a ‘conscious teaching’ to have the measurements of a new found ‘possible-Robert’s- boy’s’ penis sent to the inner circle for ‘conscious consideration’ ?
____________
Too, a big illusion many current Fellowship of Friends members are under the influence of while attempting to ride the blog-bull, (Han’s for example), is that the Bull in front of them was raised to be ridden;
I do not think so, otherwise TV Westerns would look considerably ’shorter’ and most certainly slower…
IMO, the blog is concerning ‘Graduation’ and ‘DOING’ something with one’s ever changing degree of being-becoming; it’s not about saving gas by coasting in neutral to San Francisco from Organ House’s altitude…
___________
So, the Fellowship of Friends members who ‘grab on’ for their ‘5 seconds of fame’, keep trying to wedge a square in a circle hole (not that Robert Burton can’t do it, though that’s another story) and this is the frustration that surfaces in most posts, (unintentionally that is),
that it’s simply the wrong triad, they are not honoring the implication that the blog, as a ‘We’, maintains both in time and out of time, yet how could they, since they have been trained to ‘believe’ first, then ‘Be’ second, ‘affirm’ first, then ‘Firm Be’ second?
It’s an old habit of spiritual seekers to think themselves into heaven while being hellish about it…
______________
As usual, they are reacting to its most obvious ‘little me’ snippets and take its atmosphere for granted, the bigger context is mishandled and its surface reflections are judged and confirmed as right-yours, so wrong-mine…
It’s easy to be an art critic when you’re not an artist yourself.
(not that it ~the blog~ does not allow such people as the curious ‘fatboy’ to post and experiment here and get long replies from those who have no hold on the soap on a rope he’s holding from having ‘got one’ like everyone else when joining the Fellowship of Friends;
the blog does, the galleria does not and when it was not the galleria, it was a phone call from one of those ’sitting up front tonight-show-hosts’ calling you up and suggesting that you be more in World 12, than World 6 next time)
___________
So, try and honor the atmosphere and not the bird droppings… not that bird droppings are bad, they can teach you where not to park your car… or where not to be parked if you’re the car…
Look at this quote ~
“Iran is a particularly sensitive subject here because Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad has repeatedly called for Israel’s destruction, and Israelis wonder whether Bush has the resolve to deal with Tehran, especially in light of the new intelligence.”
______________________
‘New intelligence’ = light? Where’s the Being?
Robert Burton would not need so many words if he’d allow his students to speak for themselves, to move through him and not around or under and well, even over;
his ego-dementia feeds off that too and those who are possessed by the mindset that still focuses on ‘painbody-facts’ such as ‘I am a doormat and not the door’ eat it up,
his door-mat-ness, that is…
So, rock on and try and sense that this blog site is not about blaming, it’s about living through the blame without being shameful that Blame is there in the first place; not with it or without it, through it…
movement, change, flow.
Organ House is not about flow, after all, when was the last time Robert Burton sat in the audience and learned something from another Visiting Teacher or for that matter a Visiting Center Director?
When the Center Directors ‘center’ is a ‘Bull’s Eye’ and not ‘The Eye’ and the Affirmative Robert Burton is the dart, well you know the rest, don’t you?
______
What more pathetic scene could one cum across than a bull whose eyes have been gouged out by a crowds throwing of ‘aimed, affirmative-darts’, being ridden by a rider heavier than the bull, all taking place on sheets of light pink and white silk, real silk that is and don’t forget the faux leopard skin bed-throw (?)
______________________________
Feel a bit ‘fatboy’ and stop thinking so much about obvious stuff, that pretty much takes care of its self, after all, if it did not, it would not be so easily recognized.
__________________
l.t.y.a.
I find it really grounding to compare postings from people who talk from experience and someone like Psychic who talks from theory.
Truth is here for all to see and this blog is full of it.
Brilliant post Whalerider (100)!!
Psychic, how about trying to step outside your FOF cocoon (I’m told that presence might help) and use your own words to express your understanding of what is? Anybody is capable of learning a language and then spewing it up (I’m told that’s the lower-self), how about showing what you really understand?
Hello.
I mean Ciao.
Allan.
http://fellowshipoffriends.wikispaces.com/ – check it out if you haven’t already. I’ll be putting an advert up shortly on the main page.
fat boy 67
Leaving RB or FOF aside, can you make the necessary efforts on your own to live a more conscious life? Or do you think you do not need to make efforts to be more conscious? Do you think you are already conscious?
You all may be compassionate, loving, giving, thoughtful, successful, and appreciate beauty but is that presence?
fat boy 105
What I mean is sometimes when we are beating our heads and forcing ourselves and think this is effort is just incorrect. Effort may not be a correct word, maybe inspiration, for entering the present should be gentle, but the problem is that we or me forget, and need reminders. I do think the key is effort, but how we appoach this concept can be different.
fat boy 112
FOF is confusing, including RB, I will not defend them. All I can say I want to be happy; and at the same time to experience the moment to its fullest with presense. If happiness is not possible then at least I can settle for presence if I have the will for it.
Dear fat boy, as you said, you do sound a bit confused (and believe me, I don’t blame you, I have felt the same confusion for many years while in the Fellowship).
Let me see if I got this straight. On one side, you just want to be happy, which is very natural and human. On the other side, you have been trained to think that only being present (or conscious, or Divinely Present, whichever you prefer) is the only really worthy aim in life. And that you can achieve that only through continuous efforts and self-splitting (the constant Lower vs Higher self battle).
So, you are faced with an unsolvable dilemma, a never ending contradiction: if you are feeling happy (which may give rise to you also being compassionate, loving, giving, thoughtful, successful) then you probably feel guilty, because of the gnawing doubt that such feeling of happiness is not indeed presence and is consequently worthless.
If, on the other hand, you really try to be a good student and spend a lot of time making efforts, forcing yourself to do the sequence and other exercises and trying hard to conform to the present form of the school, I have a good guess that you may not feel happy, since said efforts and exercises are a form of constriction and control that put a lot of unnecessary pressure on you and make both your higher and lower self suffer.
The Sequence is designed to make you present only a few seconds at a time, and then you have to start all over again, and if you don’t do it, or don’t succeed, you are faced with feelings of inadequacy and guilt. Such a Sisyphus endeavour!
And being constantly afraid and suspicious of your own lower self can only make you feel bad and estranged from your own deepest impulses, which might instead hold the key to self-fulfillment and happiness.
An exit strategy from such a despairing situation would be to let go, stop making efforts for a while, and just be with whatever surfaces, without labeling it presence or imagination or lower self or whatever, just be with yourself and let yourself be, with no worry and concern about results and failures, or the fear of straying away from the path. Experience the moment, even if it doesn’t hold the hypnotic flavour of the Fellowship brand of presence, that glazed over “I am taking in impressions” sensation that you call “experience the moment to its fullest”. Instead, just experience whatever is: some sensation or emotion maybe, possibly thoughts, at times even emptiness.
Do yourself a favour, fatboy, and stop trying to be (good, worthy, present, conscious). Learn to be aware of yourself, just aware, and don’t change a thing. Stop the unending struggle and make the real effort of accepting yourself as you are. Rest in your imperfection, in your humanness, in your unworthiness. Admit your doubts and your weaknesses and love what they have to teach you. Heal your tired and lonesome soul, and your strenght will grow.
When you are strong inside, things will look much clearer and simpler, and you’ll see how all your fears were unfounded.
And remember, if presence is not possible at least you can settle for happiness.
Hi folks.
The final version of the Petition is now up on,
http://fellowshipoffriends.wikispaces.com/
If you are in a position to help us continue to gather material to remove the “ALLEGEDLY”s please stand by until someone volunteers an address to collect it at.
Once we have enough protective material I will install the Petition in its new home.
Meanwhile …..
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9tGO79BtWUI
Sin-cerely Jack.
Hi folks.
The final version of the Petition is now up on,
http://fellowshipoffriends.wikispaces.com/
If you are in a position to help us continue to gather material to remove the “ALLEGEDLY”s please stand by until someone volunteers an address to collect it at.
Once we have enough protective material I will install the Petition in its new home.
Meanwhile …..
Meanwhile …..
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9tGO79BtWUI
Sin-cerely Jack.
PS sorry Sheik …….forgot your filter. lty.
a little more fun for the naughty ones with no more important stuff to do …
peas, and a happy rapture to one and all !
http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=HXdwcIWIB_o
Fat Boy 112
The sex exercise was only one example of the demonization of the “Lower Self”, resulting in the gutless feebleness of of the typical FoF male.
Your case is exacerbated by the fact that you replaced an abusive father with an abusive spiritual teacher – not an uncommon scenario for cult members. Your half-baked, confused defences of Mr Burton are like those of an abused child, too ashamed to admit the truth.
Your recovery will not begin until you leave the FoF.
126 lauralupa
Thanks – that was great
******
Thank you Jack for all the work you have done
129 James Mclemore.
Thanks james but Across the River deserves many thanks for developing the initial idea and working behind the scenes with the lawyer, which was a lot more work than we realized.
I too say thanks to everyone who has contributed and will contribute in terms of physical letters to remove “allegedly’s”.
later, jack.
126 lauralupa
great one
126 lauralupa
I nearly died laughing
Fatboy “I am not trying to be critical but just curious how others once they leave the FOF can still find that thread of consciousness.”
Please read and then reread again and again Lauralupa’s brilliant and clear post about the confusion you face. I don’t mean to single you out. This kind of confusion/sleep is very common for humans. If you try the approach she talks about it will be private – no one will know and you will not be in danger from disapproval from others. Just try it.
—————————–
Interesting that when the subject of children came up so did the subject of blame. I wonder how the actual children of fof members deal with their feelings about their early life.
For adults there is a way to deal with unprocessed psychological material. Often children have to put processing experiences on hold until they are adults and have the capacity to deal with it. Then the experiences are brought up and hopefully dealt with and it is often not a snap-easy thing to do. Often the ordeal is flatly rejected and then buffered.
It probably feels like ‘blame’ to those who are not willing to see or to –take responsibility– for their own part. It takes a lot of inner presence to let another blame one and not quickly identify and justify, but to just try to hear the other person.
Don’t be afraid to see that there has been damage done and it continues and to see where the map of responsibility for that is. As Uno says it is about transformation. To call a part of waking up “blame” is to buffer an uncomfortable stage. You can take your “thread” of awareness and form a weave. No thread is lost.
It may be that the now grown children of fof members can be leaders for us in this. They do and, I hope, will have much to reveal and say and transform.
Fatboy,
“just curious how others once they leave the FOF can still find that thread of consciousness.”
Since you are curious, can you entertain the possibility that your statement is based on a flaky conceptual model that you’ve heard, accepted and swallowed whole? That it’s simply
an example of bad poetry with no reference point in truth?
You believe you’ve verified this, “losing and finding”? Yet I suspect, have never deeply seen the unreality of the verifier?
The one who loses and finds the thread.
Thread, losing, finding…… happening to whom, happening to what? These are, “mind forged manacles”. There’s no losing or finding and no thread.
Good Luck.
Leon.
Fat Head
“Fatboy “I am not trying to be critical but just curious how others once they leave the FOF can still find that thread of consciousness.”
You’ve asked this question over and over, almost verbatim. You’ve been answered over and over, regardless of your redundancy. You don’t want an answer (it’s been given in depth the previous 5 times you asked). You want attention, something you’re obviously not getting enough of in the cult. Isn’t it time to stop being a pussy and grow up? I’m sure your wife would be thrilled.
Dear All, and fat boy.
Leaving the fellowship of friends, is one sentence.
If you live next door, can your leave?
If my pain is so incredible, can I leave?
If I had known about Robert’s abundant need for sex and money use, I HAD NEVER JOINED.
READ: NEVER JOINED.
The pain is some days unbearable, Read UNBEARABLE.
I am still so amazed, how can this have happened to all of us, to me.
Fat boy, the spiritual believes you have with the Fellowship are really a very thin layer. If you step out of the concepts/ leave the words behind, your teachers and guides will be in front of your face. Live will show you, your teachers whenever you need them….
Good luck.
135 Another Name
Yup.
We are the authors of our own books. We cannot erase what has been written, but we can change the course of the story.
Fat Boy 112, That is one of the most mature posts I’ve heard you write. What a pleasure to hear your own voice a little stronger.
No Kid, My respect and admiration for you grow proportionately to each of your posts and we don’t have to be friends. If we can talk respectfully to each other that is already of great value.
I’ve said so many things that it would be easier if you reminded me of the things you consider that nasty but with a little effort many of them are already coming back as I say this. Oh yes, I know how much I’ve questioned homosexuality.
It would be wonderful if you ever considered indulging in this exploration. I have nothing against anyone personally, but I do think we are in awfully ackward ideologies and situations.
Your preciseness delights me, again with no friendship but great sympathy. You have read and because you’ve done it so carefully may I ask sincerely, beyond the nastiness, which I am very clear about, do you find there is some sound reasoning? Not in me, but in the train of thought. I have never explored these things or read anything about homosexuality but there are tendencies inherent to being a male homosexual, a lesbian or a heterosexual that I now, after seeing the extreme to which Robert Burton took us, am seriously aware of. All my thoughts on the subject are quickly coming back and there are so many things I would appreciate your opinion about, when you can, when you wish and in private to my e-mail if you can bother.
I will not try to excuse myself even though I am sorry you consider yourself touched negatively. If you were more precise I would probably try to soften it because I don’t feel nasty towards homosexuality in general, it is the extremes of it, just as the extreme of the heterosexual macho touching bodies without souls what results profoundly disturbing for me.
As Nuthead pointed out from the book, “Erotic conflicts during childhood and adolescence can split our lustful from our tender feelings”.
basically this is what I have been wildly calling us about in relation to everything that happened to us in the Fellowship of Friends. I saw it so closely from both Robert and Girard and everyone else in the daily manifestations that I am quite terrified about how pervasive such tendency got inside Isis.
They think they are just pretty people doing no harm but they are sick people mostly doing themselves harm and yes, the young men, women and children more indirectly as if they did not notice or did not wish to notice too busy doing the sequence.
I am guessing you are very aware of the areas that bothered you. I personally think it would be enlightning for us to have that conversation, delicate as it is, if you feel in any way that you would care to handle it.
After getting somewhat trampled I have acquired some tolerance and think the chipping off is rather healthy even when I’ve lost. I was speaking with some friends totally disconnected to the Fellowship and they pointed out the egoness of my participation as Across the River and others have implied. Then the next day I got a clear glimpse of it for seconds and disappeared. While all that is true, it is such a joy to see it did not manage to destroy the blog and it is healthily moving on. Somewhat crazy as I think we are, writing away on computers what we denied ourselves to talk, it is wonderful to participate, listen and question myself as much as everybody else!
It is, No kid, no matter how friendlyless you wish to have it, an honor to have so many seriously real people writing here.
The post I wrote yesterday got lost after an hour and a half of work but nothing was lost only I’ll send this one without even checking it in this weird computers without electricity so that this one doesn’t get lost. Forgive the grammar, I can’t do spell check on such adverse service.
Greetings Sportsfans:
The idiot sycophants have been deployed and there is blood in the water. Shine the light & sound the trumpet until every last bauble has been stripped away from that idiot sociopath. Of course, I wouldn’t want to be near when B-B-Bobby really blows (some say he already does this quite nicely).
Dear Some,
Last year was the first year I had a thought to leave the FOF in the twenty years being a member. Still at this very moment the pros outweigh the cons. Thank you for your thoughtful responses, you know who you are Elena, Lauralupa, Leohardon, another name,ak0aka0ka; and someday they may help me to transform whatever it may be.
As for Bruce: I had not asked that question you said that I asked 5 times. If I had asked it before then it was not with the same intent that I had asked it this time. But your overexagerating, and being rude. I would not expect anything less from you but maybe someday you might surprise me.
Unoanimo, I started to read your post and I think you had a good intention but it became to long and surreal. I know it is your style, but I might understand you more if you were shorter and not so prolific.
Fatboy – “I am not trying to be critical but just curious how others once they leave the FOF can still find that thread of consciousness.”
First off, my best suggestion would be the same as ak0aka0ka gave you – read and reread Luaralupa’s post to you.
I have to agree with Bruce that you have been answered on this same question a number of times with many different posts. I wonder if the reason that you have difficulty hearing or accepting that information has something to do with your idea of ‘work on yourself’ and this ‘thread of consciousness’ thing. I suspect that within the context of the school you have seen that you tend to easily drift off into what you call ‘imagination’, or ‘negative states’, but when you are around other students in the school setting, you seem to find it easier to resist that tendency, and believe yourself to draw nearer to this thing you call ‘presence’, or ‘consciousness’. Remember that ‘your idea’ of ‘work on yourself’ and ‘consciousness’ are not really *your* ideas, but concepts you have been given by the fellowship of friends. Try and use that very same imagination you have and see if you can see at least the possibility that this ‘atmosphere’ or whatever you wish to call the feeling you get from being in the fof, and what appears to happen when you are influenced by it, may be something quite different than you presently think it to be. The ‘work’ as you call it, may only be the influence of a body of ideas that have been given you. If you try to use parts of this same body of ideas to try and look at that body of ideas, you are going to most assuredly go in a circle. What if there are just plain ol’, out and out wrong ideas or assumptions in that body of ideas? What if this ‘thread of consciousness’ and the ‘you’ that is going to become part of that consciousness are not what they now appear to be? You should be able to tell from reading the posts and the poetry and the experiences shared here, that most all of the bloggers, not only do not feel they have lost anything, but have, in fact joyously continued their explorations and discoveries and in fact feel that they have rediscovered their lives and found things much more real than that ‘body of ideas’ and the ‘atmosphere’ that the fellowship of friends provided. If you wish to truly look at your situation and truly hear what people on the blog are saying, you are going to have to get at least a little ways out of that box you are experiencing everything from.
Fatboy, I think that you have it within you to take that step, and look more closely, and reclaim your life; and, if you can do that, you may be in an excellent position to help a lot of other people reclaim their lives also.
Fat Boy: “Last year was the first year I had a thought to leave the FOF in the twenty years being a member. Still at this very moment the pros outweigh the cons.”
Bruce: “Isn’t it time to stop being a pussy and grow up?”
Zen Proverb: “Don’t linger in the land of detachment, come back to the misty bank and lie on the cold sand.”
142 Nuthead
That’s what I meant to say….yeah…that’s the ticket.
Passing this along (as it was passed to me) in the spirit of “friendly advice” to those considering joining a “School”, particularly one where the Teacher and the students seem like nice, kind people:
The sun was shining on the sea,
Shining with all his might:
He did his very best to make
The billows smooth and bright–
And this was odd, because it was
The middle of the night.
The moon was shining sulkily,
Because she thought the sun
Had got no business to be there
After the day was done–
“It’s very rude of him,” she said,
“To come and spoil the fun!”
The sea was wet as wet could be,
The sands were dry as dry.
You could not see a cloud, because
No cloud was in the sky:
No birds were flying overhead–
There were no birds to fly.
The Walrus and the Carpenter
Were walking close at hand;
They wept like anything to see
Such quantities of sand:
“If this were only cleared away,”
They said, “it would be grand!”
“If seven maids with seven mops
Swept it for half a year.
Do you suppose,” the Walrus said,
“That they could get it clear?”
“I doubt it,” said the Carpenter,
And shed a bitter tear.
“O Oysters, come and walk with us!”
The Walrus did beseech.
“A pleasant walk, a pleasant talk,
Along the briny beach:
We cannot do with more than four,
To give a hand to each.”
The eldest Oyster looked at him,
But never a word he said:
The eldest Oyster winked his eye,
And shook his heavy head–
Meaning to say he did not choose
To leave the oyster-bed.
But four young Oysters hurried up,
All eager for the treat:
Their coats were brushed, their faces washed,
Their shoes were clean and neat–
And this was odd, because, you know,
They hadn’t any feet.
Four other Oysters followed them,
And yet another four;
And thick and fast they came at last,
And more, and more, and more–
All hopping through the frothy waves,
And scrambling to the shore.
The Walrus and the Carpenter
Walked on a mile or so,
And then they rested on a rock
Conveniently low:
And all the little Oysters stood
And waited in a row.
“The time has come,” the Walrus said,
“To talk of many things:
Of shoes–and ships–and sealing-wax–
Of cabbages–and kings–
And why the sea is boiling hot–
And whether pigs have wings.”
“But wait a bit,” the Oysters cried,
“Before we have our chat;
For some of us are out of breath,
And all of us are fat!”
“No hurry!” said the Carpenter.
They thanked him much for that.
“A loaf of bread,” the Walrus said,
“Is what we chiefly need:
Pepper and vinegar besides
Are very good indeed–
Now if you’re ready, Oysters dear,
We can begin to feed.”
“But not on us!” the Oysters cried,
Turning a little blue.
“After such kindness, that would be
A dismal thing to do!”
“The night is fine,” the Walrus said.
“Do you admire the view?
“It was so kind of you to come!
And you are very nice!”
The Carpenter said nothing but
“Cut us another slice:
I wish you were not quite so deaf–
I’ve had to ask you twice!”
“It seems a shame,” the Walrus said,
“To play them such a trick,
After we’ve brought them out so far,
And made them trot so quick!”
The Carpenter said nothing but
“The butter’s spread too thick!”
“I weep for you,” the Walrus said:
“I deeply sympathize.”
With sobs and tears he sorted out
Those of the largest size,
Holding his pocket-handkerchief
Before his streaming eyes.
“O Oysters,” said the Carpenter,
“You’ve had a pleasant run!
Shall we be trotting home again?’
But answer came there none–
And this was scarcely odd, because
They’d eaten every one.
–Lewis Carroll, The Walrus and the Carpenter, 1872
P.S. When searching for a School one must be exceedingly careful (don’t be a “young Oyster”). If you are looking for a Fourth Way site, googling “What is the Work? fourth way blog” is a good place to go. Not a Fourth Way school but plenty of “soul food” for Fourth Way seekers (and it’s free!).
Here is the internet address for “What is the Work”:
http://whatisthework.ning.com/
Sorry, post 144 relates to an immediately preceding post that doesn’t show up. My previous post went to moderation because I spelled my forum name slightly incorrectly.
Sheik: Stilltrying and Still Trying are one and same.
94 zoecan1
I am just pleased that No Kid was able to answer, from his experience, and I hope others can respond as well. It is hard for people to talk about…. no doubt about it.
About your questions about any members of the town of Oregon House benefitting by turning away from any abuse: The only answer I have is “I don’t know.” I do not know if children were cheap or unpaid labor outside of the gates…. I just do not know.
Perhaps someone who was in, will know, and share here or privately or with the appropriate authorities.
The authorities can take action if there is someone talking about a specific child.
No Kid,
I invite you to write to me at veronicapoe (at) gmail (dot) com. Yours is a very important story and I am glad you are telling it in your own time and in your own way.
Instead
Me, so sure if you cut me loose, I would float up into all that is sky blue and wonderful.
Grabbed by the ankle. One foot on the ground! One foot on the ground!
Unless you do you will never really know, never know, what this was all about, all about.
The love of my life and my greatest heartbreak dancing an eyelash apart
A life in flux. Living under a strobe light.
Bits and pieces. More than that, I want more than that.
I want the word, the word. To be free, set me free.
So close, so close its vapour surrounds me. Presses forever on my heart.
But instead, too deep in red clay, all those echoes of the past.
Frightened by those reflections in that broken mirror and so much that still remains undone, undone.
blue skies
Cake
p.s. Whalerider. Angel food cake in the oven for you. Friend of the days of single digits.
102 No Kid
Thank you very much.
Interestingly, as I have been talking with many people over the last few years, one theme that appeared, to my surprise, is that kids-at-risk, from the sixties to relatively recently, came to coercive groups and joined as this was the best choice for them at the time, compared to life on the street.
And now various organizations helping street kids are seeing many kids who grew up in such groups now fleeing them and thinking that life on the street is safer and more wholesome, in the long run, (IF they got support), even if it is the support is the kind that some people may frown upon. Each kid seems to need good medical and dental care, an education preparing them for the real world, work and a home. And friends and counseling.
You were one of the lucky ones, No Kid.
And you are right…. it is always just one-kid-at-a-time, multiply by many.
I hope others can also respond to these questions….
And congratulations on the petition.
123 lauralupa
Great advise Laura!
Thank you.
Across the River
Do we owe any thing to the lawyer?
122 the Esoteric Sheik of Inner Confusion
http://fellowshipoffriends.wikispaces.com/
AWESOME Project!
100 WhaleRider
Deep and powerful.
Thank you.
Dear all and Bruce,
Yup, did me so well……And I questioned why?
This simple honest Yup…
Somebody understood me? Yes.
Somebody agreed with me? Yes
I felt understood and heard.
In the fellowship of friends in general, the students, we quoted, the teacher or a conscious being or another wise guy (Mostly men).
We borrowed authorities, we were discouraged to say I.
We lost touch with our feelings, our heart, our conscience, READ CONSCIENCE,
I forgot to be true to MYSELF. This resulted in not reacting in the MOMENT. Completely opposite practicality of what was taught in the fellowship of friends with words.
As I write this the hurt comes up again and please Psychic and at Boy, it is not negative emotions. Please do not confuse this. My HURT IS. Honest, simple , MINE.
I am living and mourning and grieving. And I will share with whoever has a need to share. HONEST, SIMPLE, TRUTH.
Is not that what consciousness is: HONEST, SIMPLE, TRUTH?
This brings me to upbringing of students, us, we, me.
Were we so insecure that we needed borrowed authorities?
Yes, many of us were probably brought up, without learning to listen tour own inner voice, our own conscience. We got love by being daddy or mommies “good” girl or “good” boy. Robert taped into this easily and used it.
“So many live times, inner circle, men have more possibilities then women. If you pay more money you can sit next to the Teacher….on and on and on.
I, note, the word, I, was taken for a ride…….
123 lauralupa
….Do yourself a favour, fatboy, and stop trying to be (good, worthy, present, conscious). Learn to be aware of yourself, just aware, and don’t change a thing. Stop the unending struggle and make the real effort of accepting yourself as you are. Rest in your imperfection, in your humanness, in your unworthiness. Admit your doubts and your weaknesses and love what they have to teach you. Heal your tired and lonesome soul, and your strenght will grow.
When you are strong inside, things will look much clearer and simpler, and you’ll see how all your fears were unfounded….
—————————————————-
how do you spell a sigh of relief?
this feels so good.
I think this is the real way.
Cake, you know me, my favorite room of the house has always been a nice warm, aromatic kitchen…with a big window or sky light and some blue sky.
What often goes undone in our lives is saying this:
I am so sorry. Please forgive me.
Nuthead mentioned recovery, and to be personal,with me my recovery is related to alcohol. It is not connected to the FOF in any way for it started when I was 16 and since then for 25 years I need to to get intoxicated about once a week. Being intoxicated is like the third state but there is really nothing THERE. I am an alcoholic but not the type that needs to drink all the time. I don’t feel it is an emotional problem, but I don’t count it out, but it feels biological since practically my whole family are alcoholics or recoverying from the last three generations. I know if I did not have this problem I would have been an Olympian, rather than a second class athlete, or would have been very rich in business. And also I think it gets in the way of being more Consciousness, for that is the main thing now. One thing that I always appreciated what Robert said is that you can not fault the past if it has helped bring you to the present.
So, my recovery process goes on, like Nutheads, and the others but for me it is different. I wish us all luck, even Bruce, in gaining insight and understanding.
Dear No Kid,
I’m glad you found a way to save yourself and are now saving the savable, one kid at a time. Building a life where you are now well-respected, well-connected, and most of all well-loved, is a huge accomplishment for anyone, but you had to transcend so much hell to get there. I have deep respect for your success.
After my horrific clash with the fof, I went to teach in the ghetto. I, too, find meaning in saving one kid at a time. I found that the ghetto is not just full of ugliness, one can find beauty and music, dance and art, and kindness and love there. Oh, yes, and also depraved predatory sex, vanity, posturing, drugs and aggression, a gang pecking order, and a social viciousness. But, in reading the blog and in having contact with an fof teaching house, those things were evident there also. Angels and demons can be found anywhere and the way they are dressed, the words that are used, the music that is listened to don’t determine what they are, their treatment of others does.
Sincerely.
Fat Boy:
I feel that by visiting here/being here
what you want to hear over and over again is:
It is possible! meaning, it is possible to leave the FOF!
My share:
IT IS POSSIBLE!
Gratitude.
PS: I stoped “drinking” short after leaving the FOF.
No aims to do so, no schedules no calendars, no programs… Just not needed anymore ?
Even did not get into the “why”?
Just enjoying the results!
Yesssssssss!
THIS TOO IS POSSIBLE!
Hello Fatboy ~
Try Googling this ~ ‘Ancestral Work’.
Start with possibly visiting the site http://www.healthepast.com; though I would advise you to go deeper, coupling some rigorous Hypnotherapy alongside Ancestral Work and try and find out the connective episodes that may point to what tension or series of habit/habits in your lifestyle compile such tensions to result in the need to release them or ‘unwind’… Too, perhaps try and find a way to maintain the tension as travels along, a massage once a week, Reiki Work, etc.
If you are a lucid dreamer, REAL Dreamwork can also help make connections… the information is always there, it’s the connections we often miss, so the instinctive tension has no emotional intelligence to babysit it and of course this leads to a dis connective atmosphere with ones conscience as well: conscience is not stupid, yet it’s not a natural born scholar either.
The Fellowship of Friends knows more about using sex, food, money and alcohol to create placebo-ic experiential episodes of emotional exhale and instinctive exaltation of hope and affirmative ‘do you remember when Robert said’ than seeing these ‘forms’ of intake and outtake as ‘paint’ to their psyches ‘brush’,
then of course there’s the painting and living with oneself as both Museum, Museum Curator, Museum Janitor and Museum Visitor…
Robert Burton simply does not care about his students once they leave the Breakfast Table, after all, he’s too busy preparing for Lunch, Dinner, The Wine Cellar, Afterwards, The Next Morning, Next Breakfast and so on…
IMO, The Fellowship of Friends is not about students graduating, it’s about teaching them how to remain students…
One of the biggest ‘denying forces’ is that Robert Burton sensationalizes these ‘drugs’ and takes the human condition out of their truer context and surrounds them with an imaginary context, one that only works for a man who is very protected from the real world, i.e., that he’s free to descend under a mask of smiles and repetitive jargon, not that he’s the only one, far from it:
Robert Burton surrounds common sense moderation with ‘pain killers’, ‘fine’ impressions and the sense that’s it’s ok to do what he does, so long as it’s not that which leads up to the main si-do actions he coerces young men into performing, both on himself and themselves, that it all buffers his sense of self-loathing and remorse (if it does visit him at all (?) ) It’s a lifestyle and a certain kind of path we can all well learn something from, more than criticism can teach for sure: it’s a path of extremism and calm hysteria that rides the razors edge within most of us at times, though certainly remains more of a first line affair than something so damaging as what he has allowed to grow into such the kind of ‘tumors’ that fall off him and walk around on their own.
Girard once said ~ “Wake up first and Heal later.” I ‘hope’ you can see what sort of lifestyle such nonsense supports… if both are not occurring simultaneously, it implies something does it not?
________________
l.t.y.a.
You me us and they,
I appreciate you that convey to me it is possible in regards to alcohol; and it inspires me, so thank you.
With leaving the FOF, for me it is not really the same, it is not a habit being in the FOF, but I understand if there is an agrument to be made here. I can leave; but unlike alcohol have not seen how it (FOF) has hurt me. Maybe it (FOF) has hurt others, but I still only see that it has helped me. (I am probably pissing off Bruce for saying this and he will come down with the wrath of fire on me, but that is how I trully feel.)
152 Another Name
I hear you too Another Name.
Healing is painful but pain brings clarity.
Don’t hold it. Cry if you need, scream if you want, curse if you feel like. Forgive your self but don’t apologize.
Let it out!
Unoanimo,
I will visit that website, and also take your advise in the first paragraph, but it is unfortuantate you turn what I have said into your motives to hurt the FOF. I am not disputing what you say, maybe it is true or false, it just reminds me of the the movie, Inherit the Wind, when the preachers daughter is insulted by her father and the prosecuter lawyer helps her to transform her fathers hate for her; but then the lawyer puts her on the trial stand and uses what she has confided in him against her. I am probably over exageratting but that is what came to mind.
Hello Fatboy ~
Well, that was not my intention Fatboy, “to use”, though it’s certainly an interesting chain of associations you had…
I meant to show the First Paragraph Suggestion, which is Worldwide and Accepted to be Objective methods of interpreting drug use and making connections alongside what is subjectively done by such cults as the Fellowship of Friends:
in no way was I using your personal situation as a springboard, though certainly a ’spin’ these days ‘could’ occur even in zero gravity.
Take care,
unoanimo
Appreciating the great posts lately.
To Fat Boy, let me add that being present to your life has to give you the eyes to see your relationship to the Fellowship of Friends as a psychological trap. Good to know the seeds are sown and nothing stays the same. Please know these 1500 are not the lucky ones. Not the lucky ones, not the rare ones, not the beautiful ones, after all.
====================================================
Dear Sheik, did you receive my January 4th email to recroanima?
====================================================
xray44
We’re good for now. We’ll need another pledge later, though, if all goes well. More news to come soon…
158 unoanimo
The Fellowship of Friends is not about students graduating, it’s about teaching them how to remain students…
Very well said.
163 Across the River
I’m here to help.
Thanks.
Un0animo,
Thanks for explaining and at least acknowleding, no ill will feelings because I feel you were trying to be genuine from the start. But this blog is complicated and is not a forum for people with alcohol problems.T Again, thanks for explaining.
We know each other and I see you in OH. Can you give me that website again for when I clicked it, it was down or the wrong address. The first year you joined we were pretty connected but since had no connection except casual. I thought you were just really King of Clubs at sight but when speaking to you, you are actually a nice guy, down to earth. But very surprised about how you write on this blog!!
I, in the past 3 months do not look at former students differntly like the conventional FOF student. I am just satisfied when people aspire to something higher and I respect this. bGood luck to you also.
124 and 145 are newly moderated.
Across the River (165): Sure I received it, I was waiting for confirmation, will do so.
on January 10, 2008 at 5:09 am
~ 109 Nuthead
For the last couple of months I’ve been seeing a therapist who has been helping me reintegrate the parts of my being that were cut off by my time in the FoF.
She lent me a book called The Erotic Mind, by Jack Morin, from which: “Erotic conflicts during childhood and adolescence can split our lustful from our tender feelings”.
In fact my sex life was normal till I joined the FoF. I don’t see any great problems stemming from my childhood. But in the FoF I walked straight into the “sex exercise”: you shouldn’t have sex until you’re married. Although I was 30 years old, in some ways I was still a child, at least in relation to the FoF: naive, innocent, trusting. All my natural instincts of common sense and self preservation were put on hold in the belief that this was the Way to become enlightened.
So my lustful feelings were split from my tender feelings. Sex became associated with transgression. It was only exciting if there was a forbidden aspect. I could “love” my fellow students, but “infra sex” was verboten.
How much more extreme was this for those heterosexual males who were induced to have sex with their lovely (male) teacher, and for those lusty girls who had sex with their teacher’s pets and were banished if discovered?
Why do FoF students now seem weak and half human? What sense do we get of the being of Psychic and Fat Boy from their writings?
The good news: recovery is possible!
~~~~~~
Nuthead, you hit the nut right on the head. (Or, is that: you hit the head right on the nut as in: The leader is found out and is caught by the… you get the picture, I trust. Or, maybe: the head that the Head gets is only for nuts.) One of the illustrious
conscious beings of the Fourth Way tradition said, and I am paraphrasing here, that nothing negative should enter into sex. Yes, sex, by itself, is a beautiful and a neutral or a positive thing. Usually it is a consequence of love. However, in the
Fellowship of Friends, it is full of negativity, which I will enumerate upon more later. And, that is why, on this most basic level, or heightened level, or both at the same time, the Fellowship of Friends is most decidedly not a Fourth Way school and never was, for the most part. It fails this premise. It is a sex cult developed by a sexually deviant narcissistic personality disordered megalomaniac for his own avaricious purposes. The Teacher also fails the penultimate test of almost any and all spiritual traditions and aspirants: the sex test – the most enticing and most difficult allurements of the body that must be governed in order to attain the realms that higher hydrogens connote – spiritual awakening.
The whole idea behind getting people (heterosexual men) to have sex with the Teacher, who are disinclined to have such
relations, is a negatively motivated event. It is about the perpetrator proving their potent virility (read: omniscience), sexual prowess, power, dominance, and physical plus emotional manipulation, over the maximum number of persons who do not wish to do it – exercising the Work idea of: doing-what-the-machine-does-not-wish-to-do – to one of its most extreme and ultimate applications, for very wrong reasons – satisfying some sicko’s pleasure. The other aspects of, say, having an ‘endless fountain of immortal drink, pouring unto us from heaven’s brink’ (as the Mount Carmel Journals set into print) as an euphemism for drinking the sperm of a never ending source of male sexual partners to perform fellatio upon – is just another negatively motivated event of imagining that this substance, when acquired in this manner, will produce immortality for one; specifically the Teacher. (Kind of like worker bees feeding royal jelly to the queen bee.) But there is another negatively motivated aspect to this Fellowship of Friends (via Robert Earl Burton) established ‘religious practice.’
Normal human sexual behaviour, as mentioned above, is usually a consequence of love. The more rarefied substances, read: hydrogens, that circulate in those conditions, establish a certain positive emotional state in the participants. There are very specific hormones, read: hydrogens, that develop. These substances create a bonding for those willing parties. Can you, the ones persuaded to have sex with Robert against your will, honestly say that it was pleasurable, a positive experience and led to the type of positive emotional bonding that such acts are intended to have? Was there love present in a mutually reciprocal fashion where the synergy of the situation was additive or multiplicative (arithmetically or geometrically) rather than subtractive or divisive? Or, in simple terms, were all involved developing more conscious love possibilities, individually and as a group, from the experience? Was spiritual progress being made for people? Speak honestly, please, and post it here on the blog.
You see, once you can establish a negative responsive mechanism to the production of these bonding hydrogens, rather than a positive one, you open the door to psychoses, criminality, dysfunctional relationships and a loss of access to conscience. This is not evolution; it is de-evolution. The exact opposite aim of the Psychology of Man’s Possible Evolution!
I could tell you how there once was a ’sex exercise,’ where sex before marriage was forbidden for fellowship members, all the while, the Teacher was having his sexual appetites satisfied at a time he was claiming to be celibate. I could tell you about many specific instances of how people were seduced into the above scenarios (doing what you do not wish to do – sexually) by cunning, deception, and not-so-innocent playfulnesses. I could tell you about the occasion(s) of how the feudal king demanded his ‘privilege’ of requiring a bridegroom to have sex with him after the wedding but prior to the bridegroom consummating his marriage with his wife – done just for the ’satisfying some sicko’s pleasure.’ I could tell you about how: sleeping in their innocence many an unsuspecting heterosexual male fellowship member was raped by that same feudal king. I could tell you about the many women adversely treated in their fellowship membership because they got into the all male harem and had sex with the boy toys.
And, thus that serpent stung them, rankly abused them, with witchcraft of his wit, and poured ‘juice of cursed hebenon … the leperous distilment; whose effect holds such an enmity with blood of man that swift as quicksilver it courses through the natural gates and alleys of the body, and with a sudden vigour doth posset and curd, like eager droppings into milk, the thin and wholesome blood… and a most instant tetter bark’d about, most lazar-like, with vile and loathsome crust, all [their] smooth bod[ies].’ This makes you wonder, then, why there is something rotten in Oregon House/Fellowship of Friends, does it not? Foul deeds will rise, though all the earth o’erwhelm them, to men’s eyes.
[Words of Shakespeare liberally used in last paragraph.]
170 Associated Press
Thank you very much for this excellent presentation of sex life à la FoF!
I can sympathize with fat boy when he repeatedly attempts to justify Robert’s sexual lifestyle, since I, like many of you, have been there too. Boy, we tried so hard not to be formatory and judgemental, didn’t we?
But in the end it boils down to this: Robert’s sexual behaviour is really dysfunctional and full of negativity, and it doesn’t help anyone’s spiritual progress, not even his. No matter how much sacred sperm he keeps on drinking, he is not turning himself into an immortal goddess, but rather into a more and more delusional, sick person (the signs are all there).
BTW, sex is another aspect of life that can improve a lot after leaving the Fellowship and its unhealthy attitudes…
THIS TOO IS POSSIBLE!
http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=axFLg8keolI
Fat boy:
“Maybe it (FOF) has hurt others, but I still only see that it has helped me.”
Who cares about others? I only care about me and my precious consciousness. I cannot be conscious of others.
Me, me, me, me, me.
Grasshopper, has the FOF really helped you become a better, more evolved person or just a fatter oyster?
Join ‘us’. We care about you. That’s why we are here-to protect others from a sexual and spiritual predator.
Why do you keep coming back?
To Robert Burton, when you leave his flock, he considers you dead. We are here to prove that there is life after death.
This blog is just the beginning of something wonderful in this lifetime, the one you start living once you get free from your bondage to the rape factory known as the Fellowship of Friends. Whether you buffer it or not, your mind, body, soul, and bank account are getting raped. Without the numbing effects of alcohol, you start to feel the hurt.
That’s what you are involved with, dude, a fucking rape factory.
Fat Boy: “Maybe it (FOF) has hurt others, but I still only see that it has helped me.”
This is because you’re deeply delusional – you have hypnotised yourself so that you see everything through a distorting filter. If you could open your eyes just a little and start to see the FOF as it really is you would be out like a shot.
Lauralupa: “Boy, we tried so hard not to be formatory and judgemental, didn’t we?”
I so agree with you. And I think that continues to keep people inside the illusional walls of the Fellowship. What seems to be a great quality of openness and an ability to have greater understanding is really what Nuthead calls a ‘distorted filter’.
Nuthead maybe your delusional.
175 fat boy
Nope, he’s right, it’s you, trust us.
Fat Boy
Not in relation to the FOF – I can see it very clearly. Once a chink appears in your deranged belief system you’ll find the whole pack of cards collapses very quickly, though full recovery takes a while.
170 Associated Press
Wow…
“Can you, the ones persuaded to have sex with Robert against your will, honestly say that it was pleasurable, a positive experience and led to the type of positive emotional bonding that such acts are intended to have? Was there love present in a mutually reciprocal fashion where the synergy of the situation was additive or multiplicative (arithmetically or geometrically) rather than subtractive or divisive? Or, in simple terms, were all involved developing more conscious love possibilities, individually and as a group, from the experience? Was spiritual progress being made for people? Speak honestly, please, and post it here on the blog.”
I find this a tad difficult to put down, but I’ll have a go.
Sex has always been a difficult one for me, I think both prior to and during my life in the Fellowship. This all changed when I stopped having sex with Robert Burton. What made this point in time so important to me was that I met a girl who completely changed my relationship to sex and for that I will always be grateful.
It has to be said that it was a totally confusing experience for me, as I simply have no sexual attraction to men. Never the less, I remember very clearly the first time it happened. I was certainly intoxicated having been Roberts guest at a dinner that at that time was held in a house. I cannot remember who owned the house, but the Ming furniture was initially housed there prior to its move to the Academy.
I remember the dinner coming to a close and Robert asking the wine waiter to fill my glass with more claret. Robert said his usual goodbyes and led me off to a bedroom, closing the door behind. Before I new what had happened I found myself my pants around my ankles sitting on top a beautiful Ming bed. My attention was certainly not taking full part in what was happening to me. Call it buffering or whatever but I was aware of the absurdity of a television hanging on a wall above this beautiful bed. I wondered what the carpenters would have thought of such a ludicrous scene; a television and an old geezer sucking a younger mans dick. He stopped momentarily and then, while I’m still seated, adjusted himself into a position that I guess was supposed to turn me on. To be honest seeing more of a mans naked body, never mind Robert’s was not going to make it happen for me. This was a very clear moment. I thought to myself, “can he see what I am thinking?” Apparently not because he proceeded with gusto! I simply looked at this scene and considered it to be embarrassing, repugnant and really quite unbelievable. This was my teacher. This old man really did not see how I felt and whilst he was trying to stimulate me he was certainly not being externally considerate. Now if he had given me a young scantily clad nymph for the night, then that would have been external consideration.
Anyway, I cannot say right now why this did not make me say, WTF, I’m out of here! For this first experience was not the last. To be honest I feel that only one person gets any real excitement out of such an encounter and that is Robert Burton. There is no love involved in this act and I honestly don’t think love is part of Roberts experience. I think one example that may show what Robert Burton is about is a question that he once asked me after sex. In a very soft and intimate voice he asked me “Was that better than sex with your ex-wife?” It really beggars belief!!
No, Robert does not understand himself or others, how could he? It was not pleasurable nor a positive experience for me. It is about an old man scrambling and fumbling about to obtain sensual pleasure and it is ridiculous to glorify it as being anything higher.
As for how others have experienced it I cannot know.
Thanks for asking
Allan
Dear Fat Boy.
There is a change in you of late.
Systematic work does exist outside the Fellowship and in superior forms without all of the unnecessary counter pro-ductive aspects such as domination by a personality goddess.
Consider Gurdjieffs story of the Transcaucasian Kurd and his peppers.
Then replace the peppers with the Fellowship of Friends, you know……he keeps on eating them although they burn like hell and it has been pointed out to him what they are….but he has payed for them and therefore just keeps on!
the best to you. jack.
Bruce 176: :-)))) Oh, stop messing with Fatboy’s head! He gets enough of that at home already.
I understand that he can’t leave. And telling him that he’s delusional may be factually accurate, but won’t help him one bit to leave.
Laura had the best post – 123 on this page.
Should have said “deluded” rather than “delusional”.
Allan S.
“It has to be said that it was a totally confusing experience for me, as I simply have no sexual attraction to men. Never the less, I remember very clearly the first time it happened. I was certainly intoxicated having been Robert’s guest at a dinner that at that time was held in a house…”
Wow back at you! Thanks for getting that off your chest. From a teacher that you hired to bring clarity into your life you are only feeling confusion….Hmmm. You were justified in firing him.
The last thing that would have ever gone through your mind on that Ming bed is that you were getting raped by your teacher.
Associated Press:
“I could tell you how there once was a ’sex exercise,’ where sex before marriage was forbidden for fellowship members, all the while, the Teacher was having his sexual appetites satisfied at a time he was claiming to be celibate.
‘Could tell you?’ I will tell you: been there, done that.
“It is a sex cult developed by a sexually deviant narcissistic personality disordered megalomaniac for his own avaricious purposes.”
Nice job, that’s the long version.
The short version: a rape factory.
Drug them if you have to! Just line them up and keep them cuming.
A rape factory!
…Completely supported by drones, managers, administrators, PR Dept, Salesforce, Advertising, new victim pool, concubines, Human “Resources” Dept, and housing.
If anyone reading this is still a follower, shame on you!
The truth will set you free only if you use the truth as motivation for taking action. That’s what it means to have a conscience.
Leave today.
Make that decision right now.
There is no better time than the present. The sooner you get to work rebuilding your life, the faster you will recover and heal. Take what you’ve learned and go.
The time to do that is NOW.
Remember us! You cannot shun the truth!
We are not here to fill your head with a sequence while we drop a hand in your pants or purse.
We are here to assist you if you need help.
Thanks Traveler
It is a relief, to know who had the best article
I could not sleep.
When does Laura get the official award…..
Hello, Bloggers.
Thank you everyone who has replied to my posts, ak0aka0ka, Elena, Lauralupa, Mishaba7, Pamela Lichtenwalner, Veronica Poe, Unoanimo, et al. And thank you everyone for posting. It is rarely boring.
Elena, I get that you intended no offence and I take none. I just thought you should think about who all gets caught up in tightly-woven, widely-cast nets. Dolphins and turtles can get snagged together with whatever shark or tunafish you may be after. The deeper you go, the bigger the jellyfish. For the record, there is no animosity from me to you; I wish you and *everyone* here only the best – whatever that might mean for each individual.
BTW to Everyone: When thinking about sex vis a vis the FoF, you may want to consider that the category “homosexual” is an invention of late-19th century sexology. It is not a natural category, and it a very wide net that catches many radically different forms of psychic organization and behaviors. The 19th century was the grand era of taxomony. Darwin had organized biological speciation into a workable system and there was great excitment over the possible organization of people, their racial characteristics, behaviors, et cetera. Eugenics flourished. Oh, Joy. We know where that led. And the push to categorize extended to the various “perversions.”
The 18th century “libertine” was “mad, bad and dangerous to know.” By the end of the 19th, the libertine had given way to a competition of lists….inverts, Uranians, perverts of all kinds. This is about taxonomy, organization, not Truth. The division between homo and hetero sexualities is not “natural” or “true” any more than they competing systems were. These are not facts; they are more like languages. Which is true? Chinese or English? Obviously, it is the question itself that is askew. Which is true? Betamax or VHS? We know which one won, but that does not even make it the better format, much less the right one, the true one or the natural one.
From M. Foucault’s History of Sexuality: An Introduction:
“An entire sub-race was born, different…from the libertines of the past…They were children wise beyond their years, precocious little girls, ambiguous schollboys, dubious servants and educators, cruel or maniacal husband, solitary collectors, ramblers with bizarre impulses.”
Yes…collecting was counted as perversion. A forest of paraphilias was replaced with a stand of heterosexuality with 10% of the ground set aside for homos. An impossible simplification of something that is probably infinitely variable therefore untimately unclassifiable. Now we have weird collapses: if a middle-aged man is discovered in a remote area of a public park engaging in fellatio with another middle-aged man he is likely to be put on “Megan’s List” and prevented from living near school yards. Ummm…okay. That may make Mom and Pop feel good, but it unlikely to protect the kids. I can assure you from years of personal experience that few c———s are interested in your prepubescent ballerinas. But you might want to take a look at your third husband…or the ballet teacher.
Unoanimo wrote in reply to my:
(NK) “Everything decays eventually.”
(U) Electronically speaking, people today are still experiencing the same dreams the Pharaohs were fooling around with 4000 years ago: so, yes, the light bulb dies, yet the book written by it….(?)
No Kid replies:
Eventually is a very long time. Four millennia is nothing. Also, of course, decay is NOT destruction. Nothing is lost in decay; the form changes. Form changes continually. Form is temporary; change is continual if not constant. Recent experiments in retarding light waves/particles complicate Einstein’s equation suggesting a vacillating rather than a steady state, but the formula stills holds. Energy (matter times the now-variable speed of light) can be neither created nor destroyed but can only change form.
#102 Pamela Lichtenwalner wrote:
“You were one of the lucky ones, No Kid.
And you are right…. it is always just one-kid-at-a-time, multiply by many.”
No Kid replies:
A story I like: It was a sunny day. There had been a huge storm the night before and hundreds of thousands of starfish had been thrown onto the beach by the wind and high surf and were drying out in the sun and dying. A man was walking along the sand and as he walked, he would pick up the moister-looking of the starfish and throw them back into the water. Another man was walking along the beach and said to the first man: “You are wasting your time. You will never save them all. It’s over. It doesn’t matter.” And the first man picks up another starfish, looks at it, throws it back in the sea, and says to the first man: “It matters to her.”
And, yes, I was and am one of the lucky ones. In more ways than I can begin to list. Also, the more I work, the luckier I get…
I am,
No Kid.
No Kid,
No Doubts…
You are “special”!
Fat Boy,
The FOF has “served” you you said ?
Yes, “served”…
Time for new answers?
Gratitude.
# 607 (PART 2-7)pensate un attimo
“I left because I realized that Robert Burton was wrong . What he says doesn’t help people ‘to escape’ on the contrary keep them imprisoned in the wheel student/teacher forever.”
# 158 (part 2-8) unoanimo
“IMO, The Fellowship of Friends is not about students graduating, it’s about teaching them how to remain students…”
When I joined, I asked a student: How long have you been in the school?
She answered : four years, but I am here for the rest of my life.
At that time I was surprised because I had in mind that one should only stay a few years and then one should leave after getting what one was looking for.
Then I forgot this wise thought.
Then only, after many years,this thought reappeared and I got convinced that the school was a dead end offering no possibilities to escaped the “wheel student / teacher forever”.
Either you serve the teacher’s “project” or you leave if you want to realize your own project.
There is no space for both, and right now it is worse than ever in the school.
Fortunately I left and the other student too.
A very year for all of you.
Aline
A very good year for all of you.
Aline
161 Fat Boy
(FOF) has hurt me. Maybe it (FOF) has hurt others, but I still only see that it has helped me.
Would you be willing to consider the following questions?
Do you think that the Fellowship of Friends has helped you because you’ve concentrated on being more aware of yourself, have made efforts in areas that you had not made any in before, have worked for others serving at the Galleria in ways that you had not served?
Has it helped because you’ve made effort? Because you’ve had such great good will? Because you’ve worked without interest or desire for retribution and without judgement?
Many students are in your situation and it would be very good to hear you share how it has helped you. The above are many of the ways it helped me but eventually I realized that every effort I made went to an institution that degraded its participants and overgraded sick men and potentially sick men like Asaf and Dorian who quickly lined up to have a go at playing with power.
Another aspect worth considering Fat Boy is, Do you really think the cold atmosphere of the Fellowship feeds your soul? Do you remember your nation’s peasants? Their integrity? Their frank smiles? Their unpretentiousness? Their open doors in the midst of difficult conditions? Do you think the apparent comforts of the Fellowship of Friends replace the human energy that they’ve discarded? If you wish, try to relate to what essence in peasents feels like and ask yourself whether the energy of people in Isis is like that same essence expression refined to spiritual maturity or on the contrary, corrupted with life values in its cheap disguise of Gold Alchemy Barbies.
Relativity about what you are seeing may help you see with relativity.
If you’re needing to disappear once a week in alcohol, you are investing all your actual sadness and loneliness in it. It helps you balance the pretended state of “everything is just fine” that the Fellowship of Friends pretends to live up to, throwing those who cannot, out. Don’t blame your family for it no matter how much of them you wish to hold on to. Don’t blame anyone but keep looking. When you are able to stand up on your own feet with all your suffering, it will feel just fine.
Another Name,
One great thing about suffering is that one remains and it passes. By the time one has survived such winds, one’s roots are a little firmer. I learnt to run away from suffering committing suicide but the day I learnt that I could survive my own suffering without hurting myself, it was glorious! Life is a gourmet’s meal and the more one chews on the bone, the more flavor one gets out of it.
178 Allan S. Thank you for talking. It is so good to be reminded what it is that is not helping anyone.
Unoanimo: “Robert Burton surrounds common sense moderation with ‘pain killers’, ‘fine’ impressions and the sense that’s it’s ok to do what he does, so long as it’s not that which leads up to the main si-do actions he coerces young men into performing, both on himself and themselves, that it all buffers his sense of self-loathing and remorse (if it does visit him at all (?) ) It’s a lifestyle and a certain kind of path we can all well learn something from, more than criticism can teach for sure: it’s a path of extremism and calm hysteria that rides the razors edge within most of us at times, though certainly remains more of a first line affair than something so damaging as what he has allowed to grow into such the kind of ‘tumors’ that fall off him and walk around on their own.”
Nice synthesis.
No Kid,
May I ask, what do you think it is that makes extreme male gays so much more concerned with beauty than even the most demanding women and extreme gay women, considerably careless about their looks?
The answer is obvious in the question but I didn’t have it before I asked. If anyone has other answers they would be appreciated.
Another question for No Kid. Were you ever in Renaissance? Inside the Galleria? Did you spend time with Robert? Was it possible for you to see the extent to which he took his tendency for beauty taken to the extreme of dissected beauty of the Fellowship of Friends and students misunderstood and converted into divine alchemy?
On a side note, one of my greatest disappointments with Robert was when I realized that all the alchemy and beauty of the Fellowship of Friend’s decorations was not at all connected with an understanding of the beauty of everything but a carefull selection of excercises conditioned to keep students busy with adorning the brothel they thought was a divine beings sanctuary.
Another Name 183:
>Thanks Traveler
>It is a relief, to know who had the best article
>I could not sleep.
>When does Laura get the official award…..
Wow, I must have stepped on a corn. I’m trying to understand your reaction, and I can speculate, but I would rather be told by you what’s going on and what got touched by the way I expressed myself. Then maybe something productive can result.
Or not, of course. That’s always an option.
Best to you.
I found the post I’d lost two days ago. Makes things a bit long but here it goes.
Psychic:
Fat Boy: You all may be compassionate, loving, giving, thoughtful, successful, and appreciate beauty but is that presence?
Is it not? The “successful” does not matter but the rest do. Why is there no compassion, love, generosity or thoughfulness in the Fellowship of Friends? Why was beauty used to disguise the corruption beneath it?
People in the Fellowship of Friends don’t cry, they crystallize.
What happened to the long thoughts that were meant to connect the world around us in the System? How did you accept to have them replaced by dog training like words? “Be” “think”
How much longer will it take you to become pure blooded obedient dogs imprisoned in Bobby’s divine sequence?
Each day you are more distant from reality and more brainwashed into a decadent world of idolatry for a thoroughly consciousless man.
Of course I don’t expect you, Hans or Psychic to answer. No one in the Fellowship of Friends has reasonable answers, only indoctrinated stereotyped thoughts or individual stands on this is benefitting me no matter how much it hurts others.
Pamela,
We were not absolut criminals in the Fellowship of Friends and the children were much loved in many ways and much abandoned in many other, very much like in regular society.
I don’t think anyone ever had any ill intention with any one of them no matter how many carelesnesses were endured. The Lewis Carroll School is a failure and the children do not wish to be in it. They understand that those teachers with one or two exceptions have lost their North and are guessing without direction. Robert Burton does not have a clue of where to take the survivers of the world that did not come to an end in 1998 as he had predicted knowing he would get a bunch of idiots thinking they would be saving culture in the world.
Those mothers who gave up their children in a time in which the physical conditions were not proper for the presence of children will probably never expose their later pain for the mistake.
Many of these people are misfits. They are afraid of leaving the Fellowship as we all were in different moments. They are not capable of confronting the “six billion dead people on the planet” that they have been indoctrinated to think of as inferior, sleep, consciousless.
They make up excuses such as not being able to leave because they have friends, even though they know Robert makes no sense and friends are something else.
The inertia of a life determined by one man has seduced their laziness to the point of not being able to think or be for themselves but they call this the “Ultimate Awakening” that recent people who left are not willing to make efforts for.
The weak and the lazy have no choice but to get run over under the rails of someone else’s train.
You seem to wish to help but what is happening in the Fellowship of Friends is not what would come out in the yellow press. On the contrary it is very refined criminality with all the money to disguise itself in roses. That is why, even those inside cannot distinguish the smell.
Zoecan, not even Starbucks in this part of the planet but we still make the second best coffee in the world. “Jamaica Blue Mountain” would be my first choice by far.
Whalerider, Thank you. I think we live our middle life without external consideration because those unpoetic and academic couple of words are actually trully conscious practice. We all practice it in different degrees through whatever form of work we do, what most of us haven’t seemed to manage is to penetrate our being with the being of the world at all times in a one swift gesture of permanent integrity.
What continues to shock me about the Fellowship is that the processes worked but instead of more conscious people walking out of it, the rape factory swallowed so many of them and it involuted instead of evolved..
Good luck Psycho with your corruption. You are tumors and will fall out of life in due time. Your psychology of non communication or reasoning does not fool us around here, we are no longer the indoctrinated sheep that you have inside. The greatest thing is that Fat Boy gives a damm about what you say. Pity the rest inside have swallowed your frigidity and are happy dancing in their own ego’s indiscriminate efforts. Like you, poor fool, thinking you’ve got the pot by the handle although you’ve actually got the burning pot in your hand.
“Dears”,
thanks for your comments and for all the beautiful writings.
Thanks Allan for sharing, my love to you.
Thanks Elena, Whalerider, No Kid for ther excellent posts.
Thanks Unoanimo for being back.
Thanks fat boy for at least trying.
I am under the impression that this blog’s atmosphere has become rather friendly, of late. I suspect it’s because we are constantly getting to know each other a little better and care for each other a little more (BTW I still keep thinking of Arthur, where is he?). Isn’t this amazing? This kind of sharing community was undoubtably an important element of what many of us were hoping to find when we joined a small group called the Fellowship of Friends. A maybe naive, romantic ideal, but behind it for many a deep desire for a life lovingly celebrated, for a true emotional and intellectual opening to fellow humans on a similar path.
And maybe, outside of the cage,
THIS TOO IS POSSIBLE!
Exciting!
http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=ue_UDHH-EzY
‘Well, I have been to heaven . . . It was complete with gates, angels and plaster saints – and electronic implantation equipment.’ (L. Ron Hubbard, HCO Bulletin 11 May 1963)
***
The ’sequence’ rigamarole and all the numbers, with counting toes and animal poop and their interpretations by Robert Burton seem no less idiotic than that quote by Ron Hubbard.
I think somewhere in Beelebub’s Tales, B. tells his grandson, preceeded of course by that usual, “Ecchh my boy”, something to the effect that, of all the things with which we were afflicted,”gullibility” was the most dangerous for us.
Spent some time recently reading about the Jehovah Witnesses and about Scientology. Here we are speaking about Robert Burton’s Fellowship of Friends cult. I wonder if you added up all the people in cults and radical fundamentalist religions, what kind of a total you might have. A staggering number I would imagine. Evidently P.T. Barnum was right. It just makes me want to cry for all of us, that any of us could be so easily deceived by the likes of an L Ron Hubbard and a Robert Burton and Russel / Rutherford and their Watchtower Society.
****************
From a website about Scientology – This is a couple of excerpts from a portion where the writer is speaking of
attempts to help someone free themselves from that cult.
“Many times Scientologists won’t leave the church even though they want to, if they have no safe place or people of
unconditional trust to go to.”
“It is a huge personal event to leave Scientology. You have to somehow come to the decision you were wrong and all
that money and time and investment is lost. You have to be willing to lose your friends, maybe even a husband or wife
or children. Few people can do that when others are telling them they were wrong. And really, what a person has
hypnotized himself into can only be undone by himself.”
***********
I think I understand what the person who wrote the above might mean when they say it is not helpful to tell those lost in a cult that they are wrong. Perhaps it is not a good technique if you are working one on one with someone you know. But here on the blog I do not think we have a choice.
Come on Fatboy and any other Fellowship of Friends members that might be reading. You are studying ideas that were at best, misleading, and in fact have now become completely ridiculous. It appears you are being led by a sexual predator who cares about nothing but your money and the young men he can violate. What will it take for you to begin to pry yourselves loose?
One more time – “And really, what a person has hypnotized himself into can only be undone by himself.”
Allen, I have a very vivid memory of you.
It is Sunday morning, just after the meeting
and before the strat of the potager.
Robert is in the garden with some boys,
then he saw you standing near the kitchen wall.
He gestured to you, and I watched your reaction,
there was a strange expression on your face,
something like fear, then you quickly moved back
out of sight.
It was so strange, that I never have forgotten it
but now I understand.
Wishing you lots of LOVE
192 James McLemore
‘Well, I have been to heaven . . . It was complete with gates, angels and plaster saints – and electronic implantation equipment.’ (L. Ron Hubbard, HCO Bulletin 11 May 1963)
Robert’s journey to heaven would most likely sounds like…
“Well, I have been to heaven. . .It was complete with palms, angels, saints, filet mignon, wine, Darvon and Viagra, plenty of $50 male prostitutes and electronic vibrators…”
Dear current members,
“You’re not better than life, just unluckier.”
Allan – Thanks for sharing. Surely that was a Ming T.V.?
Bobby if you’re reading;
“Was that better than sex with your ex-wife?”
Yeeeuk! Fptheeyeck!
How come you’re the guy with the most ludicrous imaginary picture of himself in the whole organisation?
and by the way, next time you try and travel to London take your passport you moron.
Love,
Leonhardon.
189 Traveler
Personally I thought Another Name’s entry (183) was better than yours.
LAURALUPA, howdy from Texas. I’ve been lurking in the bushes.
And I’ve been over at EROWID mostly being bowled over. I was going to but in when there was talk about sacred mushrooms. I think Jack responded to Elena’s question about them.
In comparsion and being a “Jack of Clubs” it is difficult to contribute anything more profound than what FatBoy offers. So silently I lurk in the shadows being awed by it all.
Anyways, Thanks Laura!
Arthur Brooks
Aw, shoot, And a special hello to Vera Mente.
Still, lauralupa’s (~123) post was excellent…well worth re-reading. Thanks, traveler.
Allan S., I cried for you today. I thought about you too, Jack. I am so sorry that I remained quiet all these years and that my silence indirectly enabled your rape. I left and buried my shame for years thinking that nobody cared. I thought my voice wouldn’t matter; others had tried yet the show went on. I built a new life to shield myself. Then the blog happened, (thanks to you Sheik!!) I opened that door to look at that time of my life, and I started to care quite a lot. I felt the growing responsibility to warn others, which is what I would have wanted others to do for me. Thank you both for telling your story. xray44, nuthead-you too?
Aaarrrttthhhuuurrrr, hi.
199 WhaleRider
I cried reading your post. Awesome.
Another Name- You don’t seem yourself lately. I’m all ears, or
I should say all eyes. Either way there is a shoulder here.
Yes, me too, and there a reason
To send our Bobby strait to prison.
xray44 my heart goes out to you. I am so sorry I didn’t tell anyone or warn anyone. The only way to free myself was to leave, so I did. I didn’t make a fuss. I was only thinking about myself.
Three months after the extra ‘donation’ was due – is it business as usual, or are their changes noticeable at ‘Isis?”
Is that an eerie silence I hear?
Inquiring minds want to know…
WhaleRider
Vengeance is a sword of Justice.
There is time for healing and there is time for fighting. Each one lives by his own clock.
Elena (188) thanks back.
Laura (191) with thanks and love.
Dream Catcher (193) God, you have just sent a shiver down my spine, not because of the fear you observed, simply because you reconnected me with an event in my past that seems as clear as day. Thanks so much for this and love to you.
Leonhardon (195) ROFL
Whalerider (182, 199 & 203 ), I find your posts very moving. A few months ago I had a very similar experience, to what you express with such honesty. I was in touch with this person and expressed that I was sorry that I had not made an attempt to let him know what I knew. He replied by telling me that at that time his “cult think” simply thought I had lost my way and that nothing I could have said would have changed anything.
I was so grateful for his frankness.
For me I think the same is true and that despite how repulsive I found this experience, something in me accepted it and was willing to allow it to continue. I think there is much here on the blog that if we are willing to accept, even as a possibility, can help us come to some harsh and some not so harsh realisations about ourselves.
My thoughts with you Whalerider and my thanks to all who post.
Allan.
Lord of the Rings:
Fellowship “Extreme Ways” ending, 1:27:
http://www.youtube.com/v/A6TjC6Bsyfc
Dialog:
‘I hope the others find a safer road.’
‘I don’t suppose we will ever see them again?’
‘Sam, I’m glad you’re with me.’
Synopsis:
A young Samuel L. Sanders, after attempting to warn all Fellowship members of the aberrant ways of Robert Earl Burton with his March 4, 1984 letter (find it on fellowshipoffriends.wikispaces.com/letter-ss-1984), escapes a desolate Oregon House on foot with an unknown friend.
Cast:
Background figure with reddish hair is Samuel.
Foreground figure is unknown friend.
(Possibly Miles)
Scene:
What Oregon House looked like in 1984, or, would look like after 1998 California falling into the Pacific Ocean, or, post 2006 holocaust. Use your imagination.
Keep on truckin’!
howdy, Arthur! you got me worried for a while…
fat boy and current members,
one of the most pernicious aspects of the Fellowship indoctrination is the unfounded conviction that life’s magical, mystical nature and the possibilities for guidance and spiritual help, both tangible and invisible, could somehow disappear once out of the School womb and back into the world of LIFE.
Robert has worked so hard throughout the years to weave this hypnotic tapestry of fearful beliefs deeply into the minds of his people, that they obediently continue to believe in the unique value of his teaching and fundamental darkness of the rest of the universe despite all evidence to the contrary.
It’s like a reverse mirage, where people are dying of thirst believing to be in the middle of the desert, while in fact there is water all around them…
http://www.realitysandwich.com/synchronistic_encounter_where_dreams_and_waking_life_intersect
191 Lauralupa – what a nice post. This blog is indeed inviting. You bring warmth and positive energy to it. Thanks for being here.
The Fellowship Friends till the very end.
The Fellowship –
Friends till the End, 4:26:
http://www.youtube.com/v/4SHjxbUt98E
Friends Never Say Goodbye
There isn’t much I haven’t shared
With you along the road
And through it all there’d always be
Tomorrow’s episode
Suddenly that isn’t true
There’s another avenue
Beckoning the great divide
Ask no questions, take no side
Who’s to say, who’s right or wrong
Whose course is braver run
Still we are, have always been,
Will ever be, as one
What is done has been done for the best
Though the mist in my eyes might suggest
Just a little confusion about what I’ll lose
But if I started over, I know I would choose
The same joy, the same sadness, each step of the way
That fought me and taught me that friends never say
Never say goodbye
Never say goodbye
Never say goodbye
Never say goodbye
Suddenly that isn’t true
There’s another avenue
Beckoning the great divide
I would choose
The same joy, the same sadness, each step of the way
That fought me and taught me that friends never say
Never say goodbye
Never say goodbye
Never say goodbye
Never say goodbye
Do you want to know the sum of the latest information from the Gods talking with Robert Earl Burton’?.
Are you ready? Please take e seat before…you might need it!
Dear Friends,
A weekly schedule has shaped up in several centers in which the weekend meeting is
dedicated to the Teacher’s ‘Thoughts’ and the mid-week meeting to a topic related to the
current teaching. Some centers, especially the larger ones, add an additional Thursday
meeting for reviewing basic system ideas (this meeting is often informal and provides
new students the opportunity to catch up on Fourth Way ideas).
We would like to present a project we have put together in the Milan center in order to
assist you to construct and lead the mid-week meetings. These meetings discuss the
current teaching—a new area of exploration—and for your assistance we have prepared a
list of topics and subtopics (as choosing a good topic is a big step in preparing a
productive meeting).
This list is designed to support rather than restrict. It covers the main areas the keys refer
to, both in literature and imagery. The meeting leader can use it in order to formulate his
topic, or if he already has a topic not mentioned on the list, to find related topics with
images and angles relevant to his meeting.
Here is the list of topics and subtopics:
• PRESENCE
o God (or any divine being, such as ‘Ra’, ‘Shamash, ‘Krishna’, etc)
o Four Wordless Breaths – Second Half of the Sequence
(‘Square’, ‘Four’, ‘Eight’, etc.)
o Long ‘BE’
• SEQUENCE (AND WORK ‘I’S)
o Sequence as the Journey to presence (‘Way’, ‘Path’, ‘Ladder’, etc)
o Short ‘Be’
o ‘Hold’
o ‘Theme’ (as in choosing the right theme)
o ‘Back’ (and working with broken sequences)
o ‘The Three ‘Be’s’
o Methods of Intonation
(‘Breath’, ‘Bringing Quality to the Sequence’, ‘Not intoning too fast, too
slow, to strong, to soft’, etc)
o ‘Acting’ (engaging presence with the work ‘I’s)
o Beginning a New Sequence
• HEART & STEWARD
o The Heart described through different keys
(‘Narrow Gate’, ‘Temple’, ‘Vessel’, etc)
o The Pure Heart
o The Defiled Heart
(‘fondness of imagination’, the need to ‘purify’, ‘turning’, ‘repenting’, etc.)
• LOWER SELF
o Studying the Lower Self (Different depictions of the lower self)
o Working with the Lower Self
(Images related to struggling with the lower self, ‘I’s that seem right, etc)
o Imagination described through different keys (‘veil’, ‘water’, ‘wind’, as well
as ‘detecting the initial stage of imagination’, etc)
• PASSIONS
o Passions in Order (the ‘World’, ‘Chessboard’, 72, 64, etc.)
o Passions in Chaos (‘Law of Accident’, 72, 64, etc.)
Since images are an important ingredient in the current teaching we have narrowed the
propylaia archive down to a new user-friendly image archive. This archive presents the
images in accordance with the topic list. Of course, the meeting leader is welcome to
use any of the images available in the general propylaia archive, but a smaller and
more topic-related archive might guide him and save him time.
We have taken advantage of ‘flickr’—an online photo management and sharing
application—in order to construct this archive and make it available to students
worldwide.,..
We have download over 150 (they will grow) selected by us in flickr. For now there are
only 7 sets (folders) available: Long Be, Four Wordless Breaths, Studying the Lower
Self, God, The Heart in different keys, God and The defiled Heart. If you need more
images you can go on the upper part click on the “TAGS BUTTON” and choose from a
large variety of key words. Here is the list:
Animals (AN)
Bull
Bear
Cat & Dog
Croccodile
Donkey
Eagle – Vulture
Fish
Horse
Lion
MItical – Monster
Monkey
Pig
Scarab
Sheep – Goats
Snake
Stag – Deer
Wild Animals
Elements (EL)
Angels
Apple
Bark – Boat
Black – Dark
Blue
Book
Cave
Chess
Child
Earth – Terracotta
Fire
Gate
God
Gold
Hands – Feet
House
Mirror
Moon – Stars
Offerings
Planet
Elements
Red
Skull
Sky
Square – Triangle
Sun
Tree
Vase
Water
White
Esoteric (ES)
Erotic
King of hearts
Lower Self
Immagination
Passions
Presence
Steward
Thirty Work I’s
Ladder
Sequence
Three Be’s
Back
Long Be
Be
Numbers (NU)
1, 2, 3, 4
4 & 4
5, 5 & 1
5 & 5
6, 7, 8, 9
10, 10.000
11
12, 16, 21
24, 30
64 &72
We’ll show you how simple it is…
F….. will send you an e.mail containing a flickr link.
If you do not have a Yahoo account you’ll need to open one (it takes few minutes).
This is what you’ll see when you go on the web site http://www.flickr.com (the first time you
have to activate your account by entering through the link sent in the e.mail).
Three Be’s
Back
Long Be
Sign IN
Write down IMAGES OCTAVE and press Search botton (using PEOPLE SEARCH)
It looks strange at a first sight but in fact it is really simple.
We choose 4 kinds of tags: ANimal, ELements, ESoteric and NUmbers (they’ll be in this
exact alphabetical order). On top you have an(for animal)-bear than an-bull and so forth;
than you’ll see el (for elements) apple or black or hands… till you reach es for esoteric
and nu for numbers. If you click on one of them you will see all the images related to that
specific tag.
When you will open an image notice than you will be able to decide how big you want to
see it and/or download it…
We hope you will enjoy our system and might take advantage of it.
The idea behind is simply to give everyone the possibility to work with selected images
of good resolution and to be able to find them quite easily.
Once you’ll be a friendly user of flickr you will be able to upload your own images too.
At that point you may decide to share those images with us and with all the students
around the world using this very simple system.
If you like our proposal please send to Fabrizio a brief e.mail specifying your name and
center you belong to. Please put in the subject the title ABOUT IMAGES OCTAVE.
After that F.br.o will send you an invitation.
Thanks a lot,
F and Asaf.
Please, write to: imagesoctave@yahoo.com
“My heart is so much in fire that it is constantly burning”.
Hafiz
BRUCE,
I was going to volunteer to be your corner-man but you keep knocking them out before I’m ready.
Hi, Bruce!!
And, what do you think about Pensate Un Attimo’s post #210?
I read it until my “lower-self” said WTF!! which was pretty quick.
Cheers and take care.
Arthur Brooks
210 Pensate un attimo
I think the part I like best is:
“We’ll show you how simple it is…”
Thank you Pensate un attimo!
“Thursday: meeting for reviewing basic system ideas (this meeting is often informal and provides new students the opportunity to catch up on Fourth Way ideas).”
Wait a minute…I thought they abandoned the fourth way? Aren’t they into the fifth way now, the way of the fuckir?
“Since images are an important ingredient in the current teaching…”
Like the one of the teacher rimming my asshole then kissing you with shit on his lips?
Sure, images are very important. The Fellowship is compiling OTHER PEOPLE’S images to use as an important ingredient in the current “teaching” (Read: indoctrination).
The above image that I described and had to endure is an image that Robert Burton is personally CREATING…the images the Fellowship doesn’t want you to see or talk about.
211 arthur
Re: 210 Obsessive psychological masturbation to keep one from actually thinking and feeling.
214 brucelevy
Perhaps they are following that old aphorism:
“Idle hands are the devil’s workshop.”
Just something to keep them busy.
210 Pensate
Thanks for another reminder of the absurdity of current Fellowship teaching.
Why does something so simple (reality, awareness, life) have to be made so complicated (theories, theories, theories)?
Answer: to justify the continued payment of “donations” for year after year after year, with no practical result other than the progressive weakening and addiction of the unfortunate “student”.
1st Verse “It’s All Over Now, Baby Blue”
Words and Music by Bob Dylan:
(Dedicated to all who have failed to follow good advice)
You must leave now, take what you need, you think will last.
But whatever you wish to keep, you better grab it fast.
Yonder stands your orphan with his gun,
Crying like a fire in the sun.
Look out the saints are comin’ through
And it’s all over now, Baby Blue.
215 James: “Just something to keep them busy.”
Yup. And Asaf is being paid a salary as a “teacher”, so he’s particularly obliged to add to the pile of crap that masquerades as spiritual teaching in the FOF.
Bob Dylan –
It’s All Over Now, Baby Blue
(Live 1965) 5:55:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w3FcroX7I9w
You must leave now, take what you need, you think will last.
But whatever you wish to keep, you better grab it fast.
Yonder stands your orphan with his gun,
Crying like a fire in the sun.
Look out the saints are coming through
And it’s all over now, Baby Blue.
The highway is for gamblers, better use your sense.
Take what you have gathered from coincidence.
The empty-handed painter from your streets
Is drawing crazy patterns on your sheets.
The sky, too, is folding under you
And it’s all over now, Baby Blue.
All your seasick sailors, they are rowing home.
All your reindeer armies, they are all going home.
The lover who just walked out your door
Has taken all his blankets from the floor.
The carpet, too, is moving under you
And it’s all over now, Baby Blue.
Leave your stepping stones behind, something calls for you.
Forget the dead you’ve left, they will not follow you.
The vagabond who’s rapping at your door
Is standing in the clothes that you once wore.
Strike another match, go start anew
And it’s all over now, Baby Blue.
There is so much spiritual writing that is simple and true, by contrast with 210 above.
One example from among many:
From The Transmission Of Light by Zen Master Keizan:
“Everyone has always been absorbed in the nature of reality, forever in absorption in the nature of reality, wearing clothing, eating food, speaking and conversing. All senses and capacities in action are none other than the nature of reality.”
210 Pensate un attimo (quoting from the fof email) :
“It looks strange at first sight but in fact it is really simple.”
LOL. Long AFTER first sight it looks strange.
GOD: Well, now’s the time, Harold. You’re about to enter your 7th lifetime. Are you ready?
HAROLD: Well, God, no disrespect intended, but aren’t we currently hovering in a realm that’s supposedly “out of time”?
GOD: Uh, Harold. “Now’s the time” is just a figure of speech. Look, if you’d like to change your mind…
HAROLD: No-no, sorry, God. Sign me up. I’m ready.
GOD: Good. Alright, so, just to remind you… You’ve chosen to be a marginally successful entrepreneur. You go to a decent university, meet your sweetie shortly after graduation, get married, and suddenly find yourself questioning the meaning of life by the age of 27.
HAROLD: Yes, I know, I know. And then, I begin browsing the philosophy section at Border’s and find a book by Ouspensky, and then eventually find a bookmark that gives me a phone number to a group called the Fellowship of Friends.
GOD: Yes, that’s right. And you join the group. And the leader of this group turns out to be corrupt and sexually depraved, and he preys on young men within the group, and he manipulates you and several other people so that you turn over large sums of money to support his lavish and unethical lifestyle.
HAROLD: Wait, I don’t recall…
GOD: But as he does this, he gets you thinking about the meaning of existence in a different way, so you look the other way as he dupes several of the group’s members into having sex. As you begin to learn more and more about his destructive behavior, you realize that now you must simply look at the entire experience as a test, or you will otherwise go mad thinking that you had wasted your life… A test it is, and nothing more. And you become very loyal to this man, and any suggestion that maybe he’s quite insane will fall on your deaf ears, and therefore you will defend his every move and despise anyone who criticizes his actions. And of course, by being loyal to this man you will return to Me in the Kingdom of Heaven. By not being loyal, you will be sent to Hell.
HAROLD: But God, if it’s just a matter of blind loyalty, what if I meet a man who is pretending to be The One, when in fact he is just another Cult Leader? How can I know that I am being loyal to The Actual One and not some Criminal?
GOD: Holy smokes, you sure do ask a lot of questions. And your use of Capital Letters is getting annoying. Ok, look… You chose this. It’s time to go my son… Please step this way.
HAROLD: But wait, I just wanted to confirm that…
GOD: Sorry, Harold. You can confirm nothing right now. Not until you get down there and go through with it. Somewhere along the line, you’ll have to figure it out for yourself.
HAROLD: So you mean…?
GOD: Like I said Harold, stop asking so many questions.
HAROLD: But God, aren’t mafia members loyal? Weren’t the followers of Hitler loyal? How can loyalty be the main way to return to You?
GOD: [shaking his head] Alright, look. You are such a pessimist. Just do what the man says, and you’ll return to your Father in Heaven.
HAROLD: I think the man says, “Be true to yourself,” and I quote him on that.
GOD: Then you know exactly what to do, my son. That is the only statement that he will make to you that will have any meaning. But I warn you… Choose wisely when you make up your mind what being “true to yourself” actually means. My best to you, my son. I will check in with you often, even though you are barely an invisible speck in a piece of sand that has settled in the vast ocean.
HAROLD: Ah, thanks God. That comforts me. You have a way with words.
GOD: I know. Good luck Harold. Remember, be true to yourself. That is the key. That is the message for you to learn. But remember, sometimes you’ll receive this message from someone who does not have your best interest in mind.
HAROLD: Argh.
GOD: Bye, Harold. My love to you.
208 Luaralupa
Thanx for that link.
What that article was expressing is similar to what I had been trying to say in a couple of posts about the ’subtle world’ – our unconscious ( of course the unconscious contains many elements such as repressed stuff as well as emergent possibilities).
The ‘hypnotic bubble’ that has been referred to is a very real thing. It is solid like the rock of Gibraltar not like a dream or fog. It is an edifice formed by the collective projection of the participants. It is very difficult to tear (why are tear and tear spelled the same?) one’s self away from it. It seems to me that the sexual manipulations as well as other kinds of abuses are a kind of binding agent.
The deepest irony to me is this. What one joined the Fellowship of Friends to find (the Self, ‘Higher Centers’) are what is being used to keep one enslaved.
210 Pensate un attimo
You’ve gots to be shitting me. You made all this up, right?
Try to imagine a jumbo 15″ toy slowly pushed in Teacher’s anus with following comment … “How incredible dear, we are evolving together”…
Few nights after that I’ve spent restless in search for the meaning …
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1-vghi6Az3g
for a good laugh.
xray44:
Thanks for that image, dude, that’s certainly one that won’t be complied either! Stark reality is sometimes more bizarre than we could ever imagine. I feel for you, man. How humiliating, really. I mean, when you joined the ALLEDGED highest school on the planet, could have ever imagined in your wildest dreams that you’d be servicing your teacher in such a manner? That’s degrading.
But you know what, since you kindly provided that memory which you paid so ‘dearly’ for I expect….you’ve…oh, how should I say it? …not quite inspired, but challenged me, I guess, by the meaning of the teacher’s quote. So I am going to venture a guess as to what the fuck he meant by “How incredible dear, we are evolving together,” which he said as our illustrious teacher is getting reamed by a jumbo (no less) 15” sex toy by one of his faithful, dutiful, and obedient student followers.
Hmmm…now, I have to think about that one…gotta let my higher centers have a chance to divine its divine meaning…Just what on Earth could he be saying? There was certainly a bit of stretching going on…both in the rear end of our teacher and the being of the student, I imagine….Gee, could that be it? A stretch for both of them, together, the evolving asshole and his self-conscious servant…Hmmm…is that it?…or…if the event was a ‘first’ for either, it would certainly create vivid and intense memories, especially in the mind of the faithful student follower…could that be it?…that the memory of the teacher combined with the stretch in the student’s being would be so intense that it would weld onto the follower’s fledgling soul and make him immortal enough to escape the magnetic pull of the moon? Could that be it?
Or was it just a teacher instructing his student on how to be more present while administering a sex toy? You know, so he could be more present the next time he used one at home with his wife or girlfriend.
Or maybe Robert just thinks that widening his hole makes him holier than thou and he gets off on saying whatever the fuck he wants to say and making you do whatever the fuck he wants you to do in the interest of your ALLEDGED evolution with maybe a greencard, a trip, or a new set of cuff links thrown in.
on January 13, 2008 at 1:47 am
~ #222 Yesri baba wrote:
‘It seems to me that the sexual manipulations as well as other kinds of abuses are a kind of binding agent.’
In:
on January 11, 2008 at 10:44 am
~ #170 Associated Press wrote:
‘There are very specific hormones, read: hydrogens, that develop. These substances create a bonding for those willing parties. Can you, the ones persuaded to have sex with Robert against your will, honestly say that it was pleasurable, a positive experience and led to the type of positive emotional bonding that such acts are intended to have?’
And:
‘You see, once you can establish a negative responsive mechanism to the production of these bonding hydrogens, rather than a positive one, you open the door to psychoses, criminality, dysfunctional relationships and a loss of access to conscience. This is not evolution; it is de-evolution. The exact opposite aim of the Psychology of Man’s Possible Evolution!’
So, Yesri baba (and others), what part of the ‘bonding hydrogens’ do you not understand? These people are being required to do various types of acts, on one of the deepest levels, that are not necessarily in their true nature, in order to change the higher hydrogen chemistry (read: bonding hormones) associated with such behaviour. Robert Earl Burton is a master higher hydrogens manipulator; for good and not-so-good purposes. Think black magician. If he can flip people to having the opposite bonding relationship in association to their body chemistry response mechanisms than may be considered normal, it creates a certain kind of bonding; and, in fact, changes their nervous and endocrine systems and their brains. Kind of like breaking a wild horse – once done, it’s done – but not absolutely. Does it matter that this might be a bizarre relationship or bond? No! The bond is made. That is what is important. You get initiated. The people are, as it were, magnetised by having their magnetic orientations realigned – so to speak, metaphorically.
As soon as you are found out not to be under the ’spell,’ or of use in some other way, to Robert Burton or the Fellowship of Friends, you know what will happen. The powers-that-be, including the minions of flying monkeys, will dispose of you. this in not a religion, it’s a cult. This is not a place to be whole, it is a place to be incomplete and stay that way. How was that put?: Don’t expect to get healed there; it’s a school.
Here’s an example: If a person wants entry into a criminal society, or even a fraternal order, they often are initiated. The more senior members impose upon the neophytes small steps of behaviour change that commits them to their new society. Then gradually more and more, and deeper and deeper, expectations are placed upon them until it takes on a momentum of its own. This ultimately is designed to produce ‘honour among thieves’ or the bond of the fraternal order. It can be something as simple as keeping a secret. In the case of the Fellowship of Friends, it is a sex cult initiation, amongst other things. Is this good or bad, useful or not? That is for people to decide for themselves. But it certainly is helpful to know when your higher hydrogen chemistry is being manipulated for someone else’s purposes.
Please, someone, tell me if there is not a grain of truth in what was been written here.
198 arthur
Aw, shoot, And a special hello to Vera Mente.
—————————
and a special hello to you too Arthur, nice to have you back!
213 WhaleRider:
…Like the one of the teacher rimming my asshole then kissing you with shit on his lips?…
—————————————————————–
Dear Current Member of the Fellowship of Friends of the Divine School of Presence, keep the above description firm in your third eye when you next meet your teacher Robert Burton. Be Present!
(althoughyouarefreetorunawayfromthenuthouseasfastasyoucan)
227 Associated Press
There may be quite a bit of truth in what you wrote. When I see the word ‘hydrogens’ I usually tune out. It relates, in my mind, to a kind of materialism that I do not view things with. It does not make it a more or less valid conceptual matrix to think about stuff, just different.
My comment that you quoted arose from Dreamcatchers remembrance of the event with Allen S. It reminded me of young men I worked with in the late 70’s who seemed to be going through great inner turmoil. They were ones living around and ‘favored’ by RB. It seemed to bind them tighter to the ‘work’ as did our sick worship of suffering.
Call it ‘Black Magic’, hydrogen-hormonal bonding chemistry, magnetic shifting, unconscious projecting, hypnotic brainwashing, whatever. It is one sick fucking trip.
223 yesri
I couldn’t make it up even if I would…..
It is all from RB and his entourage
15″ TOY? Toy, you’ve got to be kidding!
Robert Earl Burton (“The Teacher”) owner/operator of the Fellowship of Friends ought to be able to take any ANAL medical examination without wincing. Well, an anal fistula might try his patience while he uses the TOY.
Transformation of Hydrogens at the ANUS, I wonder?
Newly moderated comments: 209, 222 and 223
208 lauralupa
“It’s like a reverse mirage, where people are dying of thirst believing to be in the middle of the desert, while in fact there is water all around them…”
very good analogy.
—————–
Yesri Baba:
“Call it ‘Black Magic’, hydrogen-hormonal bonding chemistry, magnetic shifting, unconscious projecting, hypnotic brainwashing, whatever. It is one sick fucking trip.”
—————–
It’s great to see this group exposed for what it is, and Burton exposed for what he is.
Years ago someone tried to tell me that “Apollo” or “Isis” (or whatever; has the name changed recently?) would “expose” any student who visited it. The idea was that no one could enter the holy gatehouse without having a number of uncomfortable experiences that allowed others to see your weaknesses. So, not only is there a holier-than-thou attitude within the fof about everyone not in the fof, but frequently a similar attitude was conveyed about those within the fof who worked “in life” and lived away from the nonsense at Burtonville. Those living away from Burtonville, unless they were somehow supporting Burton’s agenda in certain ways, would experience this snobbery immediately upon entering. But they often looked the other way.
Looking the other way is an art form within the Fellowship of Friends.
Thanks Rear View.
Apparently Leonardo visited Robert a couple of years back and our teacher took the opportunity to ask a question.
Robert (our beloved teacher): I find it harder to succeed nowadays, do you have any suggestions?
Leanardo Da Vinci: succhi più duro.
The moral of the story is that the harder you suck the more likely you are to suck seed.
Why are you worry for others?
the idea of to help other people is lazyness.
you are false with yourselve.
your only responsability is yourselve and no body else,
no body can be present for yourselve, and you can not be present for other people.
Do your work, and let the lazy idea of to save the world or to save the people, save yourselve.
To be worry about others is a buffer for not to see one self.
the love to humanity and altruism are very beautifull words
but does not have any significance.
but many people are satisfied with the idea that they are helping people. believing that they are good people.
avoiding the work over oneselve.
223 Rear View Mirror
LOL
Seems kind of retarded when you put it that way.
—————————————————————-
Harold: I’m back! I did what you said. I was true to myself and left that stupid-ass group. Man…I mean god, what a freak show.
God: (ROTFL) Hahaha. That was a good one, huh?
Harold: Arrrgh- You’re a jerk!
God: (Sternly) Keep talking to yourself and I’ll send you back again!
Sorry, Hans, but I do worry about you. Did you forget to take your medication today? Be a good boy or we’ll have to leave you locked up in the cupboard with that nasty man.
Ah, Gurdjieff said that.
do not believe me, but try to understand to mr. Gurdjieff.
238 Hans
Hans, you are one sick puppy.
Hans, can you spell B – U – F – F – E – R?
Sorry Bruce, but that i wrote it was from Mr. Gurdjieff:
So, that you are saying that mr Gurdjieff is one sick puppy.
you must first to think before to write.
Gurdjieff said:
the idea of to help other people is lazyness.
you are false with yourselve.
your only responsability is yourselve and no body else,
no body can be present for yourselve, and you can not be present for other people.
Do your work, and let the lazy idea of to save the world or to save the people, save yourselve.
To be worry about others is a buffer for not to see one self.
the love to humanity and altruism are very beautifull words
but does not have any significance.
but many people are satisfied with the idea that they are helping people. believing that they are good people.
avoiding the work over oneselve.
244 Hans
No, I’m saying YOU are one sick puppy. Try getting your head out of your ass.
Hans – you are not German, you are not Hans M-H and probably are a native English speaker. Your mix of attempted English errors is a wildly inconsistent imitation of several different language types and very badly forged. You are the most pathetically obvious FOF shill here since the faux-convert “John”.
I prefer Howard Carter and Sidekick types – openly pushing their agenda rather than trying to hide behind a “just normal folks” cybermask.
244 Hans
And let’s drop the ridiculous “poor grasp of the language” bullshit. Assuming your ability to read the blog with some semblance of understanding, your ruse of “barely literate english” makes you look like a fucking moron,
246 joeyaverage
Great minds think alike.
Hans,
Robert Earl Burton is trying to ’save’ you that’s his purpose to save you for himself.
He needs your money. He needs your body. He needs your soul.
Robert Earl Burton, owner/operator of the Fellowship of Friends enterprise is very needy and according to your understanding of Gurdjieff very lazy.
your only responsability is yourselve and no body else,
Said Cain, “Am I my brother’s keeper?”
190 Elena
Good evening (from here), Elena. It was good to find time to read the postings today.
I just had three comments tonight. And the first is universal to all parents, I think: No responsible parent seems to ever think they have done enough, from what I have seen and experienced. Especially if there was tragedy in the family whether a divorce, a forced move, a debilitating illness and/or death in the family or the parent(s) having to be away from the children more than they wanted because of work or other committments. This seems to be universal and common and normal.
I know next to nothing about the living conditions of the children across time and especially recently at the Fellowship of Friends. Only those of you who were/are parents and were/are children there know what you experienced and saw. And this is somewhat complicated because there are legal definitions of child abuse and neglect; there are time limits to such; and there are other complications around responsibilities. Depending on where the problems occurred.
What I have suggested to everyone is that a person with concerns, please contact a therapist and go in and talk with that person. A competent therapist with skills around parenting and care-giving of children can help guide a person to all types of ways of handling their concerns. Reassurance, re-examining the experiences, the building of self-esteem and “self-skills.” And legal matters if necessary.
About “yellow newspapers”? Not sure what you mean.
Now, when the petition came on-line, the part about the possible sexual abuse of under-aged boys and girls (with the reference to what occurred in the 1990’s) got immediate attention, as well as it should. There is no way that responsible individuals would not want to make sure that this is stopped, if it is in fact still occurring; or to help get assistance for anyone who was victimized in the past. It is going to draw attention of the media, the professionals and others. That is the reality of this type of information.
Is there any other question?
Best to you all. I’ll keep reading the posts.
Pamela
184 No Kid
I am printing out that story and putting it in a lovely frame. There will be days it will keep me going and since you and I seem to be serving a similar population, you know exactly what I mean…….
Not every star-fish can be saved, can they?
And yet some that one thinks will never have a good life (let alone survive another year), grabs the strength from inside themselves and starts to “re-grow” themselves. And one just watches in amazement and joy.
And then it is all worthwhile.
Pamela
238 Hans
“no body can be present for yourselve, and you can not be present for other people”
True. But certainly you can be present watching Bobby plays with toys, and to tell you the truth, in this significant moment love to humanity and altruism are the last things coming to your mind.
230 Yesri Baby
I am afaid that your perceptions might be true.
It is awfull and my stomach is so upset.
Nothing we can do then knowing that it is still happening
Maybe now as we are speaking….
What a society
And we were part of it?
God forgive them and myself
If there is a God.
Hans:
“Do your work, and let the lazy idea of to save the world or to save the people, save yourselves.”
Gurdjieff’s stated aim was to relieve some of the suffering that the Absolute incurs on our behalf in extending this particular ray of creation complete with a conscious aspect in our direction.
Dude, whoever said anything about saving anyone?
It is work to relieve (not end) suffering in others, suffer voluntarily yourself, thereby expanding your consciousness and increasing your being…and what better way than by volunteering with the poor? Why not? I recommend it. It is noble work, not for the lazy or weak…or you could shove a 15”dildo up your teacher’s ass to enhance your ‘evolution…your choice. (Somehow that doesn’t seem to me like voluntary suffering for Robert…)
Hans, go practice some random kindness to a total stranger, do some actual good for society, see if it alters your state. The “school” might just take on a new dimension for you.
255 WhaleRider
“Hans, go practice some random kindness to a total stranger, do some actual good for society, see if it alters your state. The “school” might just take on a new dimension for you.”
A noble sentiment on your part Whalerider.
One of the “types” that is often attracted to an organization like the FOF is that of a sociopath… people who were assholes before the school, and become more of an asshole after having moved through it.
It’s pretty clear that Hans sees himself much like the other two or three occasional clones who pop up here (not talking about you Fat Boy). The guy from SF who swoops in and explains everything for us, Carter etc.
Because of their sociopathic “bent” they do not understand anything that doesn’t directly relate “back to themselves”. Whalerider, your post suggests you are talking to a relatively normal person. I might be premature in saying it, but I think ole Hans is not one of those people. I think he pretty much laid himself right out there for us with just a few sentences.
Hans,
One fortunate consequence of stepping out of the FOF is the fading of the tendency to hide one’s own “agenda” behind “authorities” (quotes/justifications which, by the way, could easily upset their very authors!),
play tricks to show people wrong (versus I am right!) and,
a welcome joyful increasing capacity to “study” (record, explore and so on) personal “answers” (what works for you).
Plenty of example here…
Rich world!
Gurdjieff (and many more) simply did not believe in institutions and mass-solutions…
They, so far, always failed right?
The progress/evolution/development (name it!) of 1 man influencing 100 man was, I believe, his “credo”.
At least, I can “do” something with that!
Gratitude.
254 Another Name
What I express here is just opinion.
Whatever is happening is happening because people are allowing it to happen.
Try not to allow your stomach to be so upset. Cut yourself some slack. You are ok. Relax, be silent, allow your mind to become still then turn around and look.
Then you can erase that last line.
#244 Hans
“the idea of to help other people is lazyness.”
Hans,
Is this not what Robert was supposed to do with his students?
Good thing to mention Another Name. Upset stomach. Sometimes the emotion is the cause. Also an allergy. At the same time as the upset a person reaches for the chocolate/milk/peanuts or whatever. So it becomes really difficult to tell whats coming first. With food allergies they have to be given a long shot. Subtract the food that could be the cause and don’t eat it for 3 to 4 weeks. It can take a while to find out. Worth it in the long run because it can be cheaper than health insurance. Actually, I’ve just thought, if it is solely the upset from the outside subtract that for 3 to 4 weeks.It’s another option.
“Looking the other way is an art form within the Fellowship of Friends.”
Absolutely true. I believe I was looking the other way when that bus hit me!
And then there’s one of my favorite Seinfeld moments:
Elaine: “Are you a born-again Christian?”
Putty: “Absolutely.”
Elaine: “How come you’ve never tried to convert me? Aren’t you concerned that you’re dating someone who’s not been saved? Aren’t you worried about my soul?”
Putty: “Hey, I’m not the one that’s going to hell.”
Elaine: “David, I’m going to Hell! The worst place in the world! With fires and devils! Don’t you have anything to say about that?”
Putty: “It’s gonna be rough.”
brucelevy:
“One of the “types” that is often attracted to an organization like the FOF is that of a sociopath… people who were assholes before the school, and become more of an asshole after having moved through it.”
Take a long hard look in the mirror, if you don’t see an asshole it is only because you are blind.
# 244 Hans
Sorry Bruce, but that i wrote it was from Mr. Gurdjieff:
So, that you are saying that mr Gurdjieff is one sick puppy.
you must first to think before to write.
Gurdjieff said:
the idea of to help other people is lazyness.
you are false with yourselve
————————————————————-
Hans, it feels to me you are equating Gurdjieff’s words like a bible of some kind.
He was not god-like, and he could have been a great son of a bitch!
Read some testimonies/ stories about him.
Come down to earth Hans, Robert Burton is not god-like, he is a great son of a bitch for sure, read up the blog and really read the stories about him.
Don’t’ you get some goose bumps? aren’t you a boy of some kind?
Stay away from the real wolf in sheep’s clothing.
254# Another Name: “God forgive them and myself
If there there is a God”
Another Name:
If we are all God (one) we have to learn to forgive ourselves and others and not give an entity outside of ourselves the task of doing this.
And remember that unless we ourselves have a brain illness like sociopaths or psychopaths we did not harm ourselves or others intentionally. It happened to many of us because we did not have the capacity to see what was happening due to our own fears and inability to open our hearts fully at the time. To open ones heart can be scary at first but without an open heart the truth does not come in and one lives an unfulfilled life, and tramples on many just due to lack of emotional awareness of what one is doing. Blaming oneself or others is yet another hurdle to cross.
However, anger, which I believe Another Name is experiencing right now, is part of the healing process and a good thing. Big bear hug to you AN xxoo
Hans: “your only responsability is yourselve and no body else,
no body can be present for yourselve, and you can not be present for other people.”
You are right, no one an be present FOR another. So, what’s your real point?
This discussion now weaves in with child abuse and neglect and you provide the absolutely perfect abuser justification. Just because one cannot ‘be present’ FOR another does not automatically mean that one cannot be present TO another. You are justifying your own deep levels of sleep. Not only that, you are willing your sleep – you want it —and will defend it.
You know that in such a state of sleep terrible creatures of the shadow emerge. Usually visited on other people which makes it bearable for you since you basically don’t care. Often those shadow forces are foisted on children (little children) in the forms of negligence and inappropriate attention.
———————-
No Kid, I don’t quite get why you posted those comments about homosexuality. Are you questioning the accepted mental categories about sex? It is a deep and subtle subject. From what I’ve heard, negligence is deeply damaging and often children will act out in ways that reflect parents and other adult’s true feelings. Sorry if this subject is too much. Just ignore, if it is.
I don´t exist.
you are dreaming that you are fighting.
but I´m the Air.
your idea, my idea, is all a dream.
sweet dreams my friends.
I have known a lot of stories,
the only reality is GOD.
Hans,
You exist…
Can’t do anything about that!
Can’t change that!
Gratitude.
Hans,
Every now and then the thought will come to me that being in a human body is really nasty.
We are on stage in this drama called being human and the show must go on, regardless of how we feel about it.
I fell down weeping with despair when Girard Haven (Co-Director) of the fellowship of Friends expelled me. The weeping was so loud I did’nt hear the director say, “enough already”.
Have you had enough, Hans? The shocks keep coming whether you are in the air or here with us. Dont be like me feeling dispirited after finding this blog and reading about you.
Hello All,
Somehow, slowly I feel the fof ‘experience’ receding into the past, yet it’s good to be reminded what a complete ‘false prophet’ RB was/is-thank you to Allan S., Whalerider, XRay, and others for relating their very presonal encounters.
Yes, as someone back up the line said, it is very hard to accept that we were ‘fooled’ by the smooth-tongued rogue, RB. Yet what is harder to accept is that some of my past friends, who I thought were ‘intelligent-thinking’ individuals are still supporting RB and his ‘esoteric circus’.
I guess the misguided fear of losing ‘c-influence’ is very strong in them, or maybe it is simply the fear of admitting they also were fooled.
I’m still finding asking myself the question,’what was it in me that attracted me to the fof initially?’ a good exercise in clarifying these ‘muddy waters’.
Best to you all.
Dear Sheik,
As I sit here sipping a wonderful cup of hot tea, my mind wanders. I’m thinking about how great it is to have this site. Thank you for the joy you’ve brought to my life!
Who is on this ladder?:
Megachurch Leader Charged With Perjury
Jan 14, 2008
ATLANTA (AP) – The 80-year-old leader of a suburban Atlanta megachurch has been charged with lying under oath, court documents show. A warrant for the arrest of Archbishop Earl Paulk, co-founder of Cathedral of the Holy Spirit at Chapel Hill Harvester Church, was issued Monday, according to court documents. Paulk was making arrangements Monday night to turn himself in to authorities, WAGA-TV reported.
Paulk’s attorneys did not immediately return calls from The Associated Press for comment.
Former church employee Mona Brewer is suing Paulk, his brother, Don, and the church for allegedly manipulating her into an affair from 1989 to 2003 by telling her it was her only path to salvation. In a 2006 deposition stemming from the lawsuit, the archbishop said under oath that the only woman he had ever had sex with outside of his marriage was Brewer.
But the results of a court-ordered paternity test revealed in October that Paulk is the biological father of his brother’s son, D.E. Paulk, who is now head pastor at the family’s church. As part of Brewer’s lawsuit, eight women have given sworn depositions that they were coerced into sexual relationships with Earl Paulk.
A judge ordered the paternity test at the request of the Cobb County district attorney’s office and the Georgia Bureau of Investigation, which were investigating Paulk.
Cobb County District Attorney Pat Head declined comment when reached at his home Monday night.
Paulk and his brother, Don, have been hit with multiple lawsuits from former members alleging they were coerced into sexual affairs, but this is the first time criminal charges have been filed against the archbishop.
———–
Anyone care to make a deposition? Where is the local A. G. office?
Hans:
“I don´t exist.”
Excellent! You are the quintessential non-ego type person ripe for plucking and ready to receive orders. You will do as you are told with a smile. You have relinquished your ego boundaries in the interest of a prescribed higher good, and you are willing to allow your actions be determined by another. I’d certainly want you in my cult, that’s for sure, and more and more like you, all hopping through the frothy waves and scrambling for the shore.
“…you are dreaming that you are fighting.”
So help me Allah I will fight evil…even in my dreams.
“but I´m the Air”
Air sign, perhaps?
“your idea, my idea, is all a dream…sweet dreams my friends”
Well, nighty, night to you, too, dear.
“I have known a lot of stories.”
The idea here, Hans, is to know thyself. Ah, there’s the rub, you don’t exist.
“…the only reality is GOD.”
There you go, Hans, you scored with that one, the best thing you said so far to date! The only reality is GOD. Each of us in our own little separate subjective realities doesn’t really matter on the objective scale of the Absolute. No argument there. (That truth, however, does not grant any one human license to act upon others without discretion. Robert has far exceeded the bounds of human decency by involving his student followers in his sex life and lavishly rewarding them for his own personal gratification to the extent he has and continues to unabated.)
Keep posting, Hans, this blog will make you more immortal than Robert ever can.
In fact, Hans, reading this blog tonight and you remind me that each of us is just one or two degrees of separation from the Fellowship of Friends and Robert and everything that is going on. Wow, that feels like…next door or something… Do you realize that, Hans? We’re actually neighbors! (Especially in GOD’s reality, like you said, that really important other reality, where we are all one…)
Can’t say that I’d want your leader as a neighbor though, I have kids.
Hans
Did I read somewhere you are German?
Gutenmorgen Hans, wie geht es Ihnen? Wir haben einen Saying in IT, shite im shite heraus. Der Inhalt von einigen Ihrer Pfosten wird völlig gerechtfertigt.
And for those who do not get the gist, a rough translation of this German can be found at
http://babelfish.altavista.com/
Love
Allan :-)
Hola amigos,
Some of you already know me from Madrid, Oregon House, or Athens. For those who don’t, my name is Yorgos Kontokolias and I’ve been a FoF member for 20 years, since 1988. Today, January 15, is the “official” date of my release, although the internal separation process started several months ago.
First of all, I’d like to thank the participants of this blog for the substantial help they offer to those struggling their way out. The information shared here creates the conditions that can support the fearless decision to follow one’s own path.
Secondly, thinking of those friends still inside the walls of their own illusions who are missing the individual rythm of their own breath, I’d like to share my current understanding about what they call “presence”.
Presence does not depend on efforts or words because whatever depends is not real. Presence is, we are, independently of efforts or words. Whether we know it or not, whether we remember it or not, whether we are conscious of it or not, we are always present, we always are. The sun is always shining whether we are awake or asleep.
Con amor, Yorgos
yorgos@SolucionesFengShui.com
Hi Allan re above…..
: )
——————————————————————————
Re Petition.
The current “interval” is the absence of someone relatively local ie America or closer, prepared to receive and hold letters from those with factual signed statements about the specific areas with “allegedly” before them.
Once we have someone prepared to do that it will be posted on the other wiki blog along with guidelines as to what form the letters must have in order to be legally valid.
If you are prepared to take on the above responsibility please write me at.
edward@fourthwaywork.net
and we can proceed.
best to all
jack.
238, 263 and 275 are newly moderated.
Zoecan (271): About a week ago I got to speak with the Knight (who started Animam Recro with me) after more than 6 months of me leaving that project and we both got talking about the Fellowship and the discussion. We agreed that we were most thankful for the other new beginnings that started with the blog – people getting together, the Greater Fellowship and countless other starts. At the end of the day there is nothing more beautiful than witnessing people getting together and influencing each other positively (even, or should I say especially, conflict and argument have been incredibly beneficial). I am glad that something as impersonal as a screen and a telephone connection, can solicit the connections that I witnessed over the past years. I am deeply thankful.
Say:
Esoteric Sheik of Inner Confusion
&
Monochromatic Knight:
Gratitude pumps blood.
275 Yorgos
“Presence does not depend on efforts or words because whatever depends is not real. Presence is, we are, independently of efforts or words. Whether we know it or not, whether we remember it or not, whether we are conscious of it or not, we are always present, we always are. The sun is always shining whether we are awake or asleep.”
*********
Happy January 15th Yorgos –
Thank you for those words this morning. It helped me start my day.
Perhaps you could share more of what that “internal separation process” was for you.
Con amor to you also
Mr. Shiek and Sir Knight are the genius loci of this site, that site and every other site.
Thanks ya’ll for saving lives.
267 Hans
I don´t exist.
you are dreaming that you are fighting.
but I´m the Air.
your idea, my idea, is all a dream.
sweet dreams my friends.
I have known a lot of stories,
the only reality is GOD.
————————————————————————
Hans, if you do not exist I guess you are not touched by any of our posts whatsoever.
You are coming to this blog to prove your strength in your beliefs.
You do not exist! you cannot be hurt, right?
I am very sorry for you!
Since you love Gurdjeff I suggest you read the story of the black magician and the sheep.
Do not go smiling to the slaughter house!
Hey Tiger,
For a year I have asked myself the questions:
What was it in me that attracted this play?
I could I fall in this trap?
Why was I not able to see more clear and protect others?
I feel so sad leaving so many people behind who are still “believers” although many more are questioning and it has not been finished.
The pain of being part of this carton board structure to serve Robert with his money and sex makes me “sick to my stomach” ( These are not allergies, simply unresolved emotions).
There were signs, you know. There were signs…
I am mad at myself, that I was in it, gave so much and left so much behind. Even myself to give up my self- will……aaahhhhhhhhh
I am mad at God, I have spoken with him and he is not answering…..he does not exist or as Byron Katie says God is, what is now, here. Well then every discussion is mind activity and no use. Love what is now and make the best out of each situation.
Tears are flowing.
Thank you all for being on this journey.
Any other suggestion to come to terms with this process I am curious….
267 Hans
Your English is perfect….fast learner.
Keep learning…..and grieving and see what is in front of your eyes.
Hans,
Further thoughts on “I do not exist” and “dream”:
A bit of Advaita in Robert Burton’s teaching?
Cool!
About being “à la mode”:
Reading the blog?
Not so refined but really “in”!
Made to bring you “out”!
(Thanks Yorgos and Congratulations!)
And posting?
The “Petit Bandit” costune suits some so well!
Irresitible! Super Chic!
Gratitude.
Missing my avatar…
Sniff!!!
Ahhhhh!
Because I love the way you smile:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KwfQEWE5tvM
Gratitude.
282 Another Name
If Burton would have approached you and told you, “Oh, by the way Another Name, I would like to have your self will, all your money, and all of your time, and if you have any family I’ll take that too. The more money, uh, I mean the more, the merrier. Just turn your head while I’m giving head and you’ll be fine. Here’s a new language for you to learn and just keep repeating these phrases until you go nuts and can’t think for self anymore. When you run out of money go find some more. You can talk to the people here, but please don’t speak with anyone informed.” Would you have joined? My guess is No.
Honest, wholesome, intelligent, and good people are a con man’s favorite. You were seduced into the FoF. The only thing you are guilty of is not doing your homework. It’s like purchasing something before checking it out. We all do this sometimes more than once. Only FoF didn’t come with a warranty. Ok, so you made a mistake. The good thing is that you figured that out and left. Now, the hard part- forgiving yourself. This takes time. Meanwhile, you have this knowledge of a horrific cult. IMO, it’s your duty to educate others so that they don’t make the same mistake. Change your re-action into action. The rest will fall into place.
Wishing you the very best,
Zoe
RE: 28/38 Skeptical Optimist
Glad to see somebody has their priorities straight.
Sports update: Tom Brady & Patriots are now 17-0.
28/263 truthhurts
Smile when you say that, he’s our asshole and we like it.
on January 15, 2008 at 12:14 am270 A Tiger
I’m still finding asking myself the question,’what was it in me that attracted me to the fof initially?’ a good exercise in clarifying these ‘muddy waters’.
For me what was attractive and even amazing that I found a group of people who assured me that they were practicing the Fourth Way. I read “the Forth Way” book and liked it a lot. Ouspensky insisted that without the school one has no chance even with the system described there. At the first prospective student meeting I was told that the Fellowship of Friends has a straight line to Ouspensky, because the teacher of our teacher was a student of Ouspensky. I believed them. Meeting the “older students” was also interesting because they were different from anyone I knew “in life”. Refined, noble, educated, intentional and positive. I had a lot of questions and they had all the answers. I saw that I didn’t have “the level of being” like them, I wanted to be accepted and become like them, so I volunteered for all kinds of third line of work. The Work was very practical, based on self-observation. I received a lot of help on working with negative emotions, impressions, refinement, essence etc. The school was my life and I dropped everything to move to Apollo and “bring the life in the school”, to serve and to work on myself. Living in the country with so many different nationalities, social levels, talents, believing that we are all a family based on love and consciousness was an amazing experience. Dining in the rose gardens, classical concerts, meetings at the houses of wealthy students, operas, ballets. I could not understand why not everybody wants to join because for me the goodness of the school was so obvious.
I don’t think it was our mistake and that we were attracted to something ill because of our blindness or stupidity. We just did not know… our friends did not know.
Dear People, I almost missed this!
It makes me very very sad
193 Dream Catcher
Allen, I have a very vivid memory of you.
It is Sunday morning, just after the meeting
and before the start of the potager.
Robert is in the garden with some boys,
then he saw you standing near the kitchen wall.
He gestured to you, and I watched your reaction,
there was a strange expression on your face,
something like fear, then you quickly moved back
out of sight.
It was so strange, that I never have forgotten it
but now I understand.
Wishing you lots of LOVE
206 Allan S
Dream Catcher (193) God, you have just sent a shiver down my spine, not because of the fear you observed, simply because you reconnected me with an event in my past that seems as clear as day. Thanks so much for this and love to you.
252 Pamela,
I guess what I mean is that I almost desperately would like your or anybody else’s help to close down the consistent human abuses of the Fellowship of Friends and yet I am not aware of children having ever been abused physically to be able to say that such a thing happened. If you’ve read the blog carefully, you may understand what I mean, it is subtle, methodical indoctrination, geared to support a man’s corrupted lifestyle at the cost of a thousand other who believe in him. The problem is, we cannot just sue because the children were over 18 years old, in fact I was thirty when I joined and fell for the story with as much innocence as a child of eight.
Know that I am very grateful for your interest and participation here. When I get back to Medellin, it’ll be easier to communicate.
Hello Another Name, and many others,
You wrote, several times, and so have others, about:
‘The pain of being part of this. . . makes me “sick to my stomach” (These are not allergies, simply unresolved emotions).’
- – - – - – - – - -
Please know that stress, of various kinds, can have a specific physiological effect, and directly medically observable, with the appropriate equipment. Stress can affect the stomach by causing ‘petechial hemorrhage’ there. Petechial hemorrhaging is the rupture of tiny capillaries or bleeding. This can cause real pain and lead to ulcer(s). It weakens the integrity of the stomach and digestive system lining. These sites then become opportunities for undesired bacterial action. The process also weakens immune system, opening door to allergies. One thing leads to another. It can also cause a negative spiral of producing worry that further exacerbates the condition.
Solution: Remove patient from conditions that produce unwanted effects and apply nurturing circumstances.
Here is more on Petechial Hemorrhage:
petechial hemorrhage from capillary leakage at minute points beneath the skin, mucous membrane, or serosal surface; called also punctate hemorrhage.
In forensic pathology; death by asphyxia:
A petechial hemorrhage is a tiny pinpoint red mark that is an important sign of asphyxia caused by some external means of obstructing the airways. They are sometimes also called petechiae. Their presence often indicates a death by manual strangulation, hanging, or smothering. The hemorrhages occur when blood leaks from the tiny capillaries in the eyes, which can rupture due to increased pressure on the veins in the head when the airways are obstructed. If petechial hemorrhages and facial congestion are present, it is a strong indication of asphyxia by strangulation as the cause of death.
The forensic pathologist usually needs a very good light source and maybe even a magnifying glass to detect petechial hemorrhages in the eyes. They range in size from the size of a speck of dust to around two millimeters and may occur in distinct groups. Often they are seen in the conjunctiva of the eyes and also on the eyelids, especially after hanging.
In head/brain injury:
Multiple petechial hemorrhages:
Numerous small contusions from broken capillaries that occur in grey matter under the cortex are called multiple petechial hemorrhages or multifocal hemorrhagic contusion. Caused by shearing injuries at the time of impact, these contusions occur especially at the junction between grey and white matter and in the upper brain stem, basal ganglia, thalamus and areas near the third ventricle. The hemorrhages can occur as the result of brain herniation, which can cause arteries to tear and bleed. A type of diffuse brain injury, multiple petechial hemorrhages are not always visible using current imaging techniques like CT and MRI scans. This may be the case even if the injury is quite severe, though these may show up days after the injury. Hemorrhages may be larger than in normal contusions if the injury is quite severe. This type of injury has a poor prognosis if the patient is comatose, even with no apparent causes for the coma.
Suzy 228
thanks for that link. I especially enjoyed this related clip, the girl looks so happy and sweet. She reminds me of being a child.
Happy thoughts to all
http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=BzQeur_-Xgw
289 Somebody
Everything you write applies to me too, almost identically.
BUT…..
Why did we perceive the FOF that way at our prospective student meetings and in our early years, when many prospective students saw something completely different and didn’t join? Because we had stronger magnetic centres? I think not. More likely because we were weak and lacking in self-confidence and felt a need for a supportive family-like group who made us feel special. Or something like that. Did we want to wake up more than someone who thought the FOF looked like a cult, and went on to join a less corrupted spiritual group?
And why did we stay when we began to hear about RB’s abuses? Others left immediately.
Why did we not realise sooner that the FOF doesn’t work as a spiritual school?
“Blindness and stupidity”? I’m afraid so.
294 Nuthead 289 Somebody
Yeah, I feel similar to you, Somebody and Nuthead.
I did not fit in anywhere, to dreamy, to naive,
terrible with money, kind of damaged emotionally
and then there is the FOF. Wow, being instantly
accepted for who I was, warts and all!
The art, beauty, travel, knowledge thrown at you
from all directions, no wonder I got hooked.
But after a while it began to feel like a straightjacket
with the exercises, the dress code, the being photographed
left, right and center, the money thing, the mass adoration of RB,
and any any art form he liked, the clone woman and men without
a grain of individuality, really great people suddenly leaving.
Kristina Nielsen, James Bryant, etc,
The not fitting in suddenly raised its confusing head,
oops, wrong planet, don’t fit in again.
Now, I don’t care about the fitting in, I like myself, a lot!
I don’t need the teachings of Mihais, Dorians and Asafs, or RB.
Deep down I have all the answers, I just have to live the question.
Live Life to the full. It is loaded with unexplored treasures.
And now I am FREE, I am out there looking for them.
294 Nuthead
“Blindness and stupidity”? I’m afraid so.
*******
Yeah probably, but so what? I would bet that almost all who post here can attest to the fact that their life has been littered with at least some amount of blindness and stupidity. Mine sure has. I would also bet that almost all who post here have had innocence and good intentions in most of what they have tried to do. It can feel very strongly sometimes as if we have ‘wasted time’. I have been dealing with that one on a daily basis just lately. But I wonder, who is it inside of us that experiences that? Who is the ‘we’ that can waste time? Is it just another way the moment is missed because someone inside thinks a payment needs to be made and we need to flog ourselves for our weaknesses first. Perhaps sometimes we just need to stop and laugh at ourselves, to laugh at our ‘blindness and stupidity’, and then just let it go.
“There are shools, for instance, or systems, which even though they don’t admit it nevertheless are based on a false personality and on a struggle against the conscience. Such work obviously will create the wrong results.” P.D.Ouspensky
Dear All,
When I read these last emails, something in me say yes, we were stupid and blind and something in me says…no. We (me) were ready for something new and the Fellowship of friends somehow came in that spin of a circle and we/ me tagged on.
There was a hope a promise of a different life that we/ me was/were leading. My life was great in terms of security and job, friends and family. Something was missing. Getting to the property gave me a hope of a different way of living, being part of a leading edge, being in the moment, growing my soul.
Some see the attraction of travel and well clothing people as a lure. Not for me. I never saw the expensive clothes, had no clue and no idea. Mostly living in second hands clothes, working, working, no time to think. That was a sign as I can see it now.
I have family, who said yes we knew, we researched and never told you. That hurts. When I asked questions to some older students and they said o, that is just your false personality. Just transform, that was weird.
My circle became smaller. Then when the information became so available with the blog and with books and the internet, many of us awoke a second time. In 1995 this was not possible like now , due to a lack of information and the easy access.
I am curious how you Ames see this. You left in a different time and might have a useful angle to look at this. ( Or others)
Life is a cult guys, if you watch a lot of tv you are in the tv cult and will buy some stuff that you would otherwise never buy. At your job there might be a strong tendency for how we should be and act. The sports world if you are hooked onto this world…..Cults are every where. It is the amount of damage they can do and that is one of my hurts in the fellowship of friends. That hurt is part of me and I am still digesting and hurt by the fact that my friends on the other side of the fence might not want to share with me their lives………now that I am writing this, something in me says: It might be a matter of time in a year from now they might be sipping tea with you…..
Thanks for being here and this blog is a healing therapy for me…..still a long way to go, sigh.
This article is packed with information on:
Characteristics of Cults
Cult Recruitment
Cult Thought Reform/Mind Control
Cult’s Special Language
Socialization
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Somebody #289,
Upon graduating from a university I was struck with a “self-photograph” about how low my level of being was. An awakening shock.
Soon afterward I went through the emotional shock of a divorce and the consequences thereof. Drinking and doing drugs until judgement day. The emotional shock of losing a good job. Divorce for me was not easy and I would’nt wish it on my enemy. Even when it’s the best thing.
Around this time a friend introduce me to Gurdjieff and I began reading as many “links” to Gurdjieff as I could find. In my reading I understood that “life Shocks” and ‘esoteric’ literature create a magnetic center.
It was my understanding that the magnetic center’s purpose was to lead you to begin a search for others (school) and begin ‘work’ leading to a higher degree of consciousness and being.
Like you I was attracted in the same manner and for the same reasons until I reached San Franscisco. While in San Francisco I met P. who was married and also had a boy friend. One day a student that I did know invited me to go with them to Union square. And I did.
At the time, I did not know that P. had ’sexual’ thoughts toward me. As we were walking toward the apartment she suggested smoking marijuana. I didnt have any and wanting to ‘be a good student’ and help her out of whatever was bothering her, I suggested the apartment had wine for an inexpensive price.
So a wine drinking we did go. We almost came real close but our activity was stopped by a student slamming a window above our ‘love couch’. I’m weak. A little drink, a pretty woman (married or not) and I become an abled bodied seaman. Especially if I get all the right signals, and I did.
All the stress medical condidtions mentioned by Would’nt You Like To Know #292 I believe were accumulating around me.
Graduating from university, divorce, losing job and doing drugs were within seven years of joining the fellowship of Friends. One octave. And, not to lose sight of the fact that I only had a ninth grade education at the beginning of this jarring trek.
The next week-end everyone from the apartment went to the ‘farm’ I think that’s what it was called. Except for me and P. I’m broke and she is out eating and drinking. She comes in and we are standing in the kitchen talking. At last she says, “I guess I’ll have to go to bed alone again” and left the kitchen.
My penis which does have a mind of its own said, “was that a hint”? “Lets find out”. So, I went into her bedroom and sat next to her body. When I went toward her face she said, “no”.
I immediately got up and went back to the kitchen. I concluded that she wasnt giving me a hint.
The next day a student said that Girard Haven called for me, and that it was unusual because Girard Haven just didnt call anybody. The student also mentioned that he “knew what was going on around here”. Well, I called Girard Haven and he asked me to come to him and explain a complaint he received.
At three the next day I went and spoke with Girard Haven. He said that P. accused me of entering her bedroom without permission. And, he wanted to know my side of the story. I told him that whatever P. told him was true and I had no excuses.
He listened then said, “we or I do not want you sleeping in the parks but you have 24 hours to leave”. As best as I can remember he said something like in the event you want to return the door will remain open with but with a $2,500.00 price tag.
The next morning while gathering things, looking for a ride and waiting for money, the phone rings and I answer. It’s none other than Girard Haven who says with a chuckle “are you still here”.
I finally contacted Ameila for a ride and William to cash a money order. My intent was to get out of San Francisco fast because of the “you’ll go to hell if you talk to expelled student ” rule. And, because of shame.
I believe without verification that what Wouldnt You Like To Know #292 says about the accumulations of stress is correct. Stress kills.
After years of smoking and the unattended stresses of life, I ended up terrible sick with COPD. In 1994 I had some type of cold or flu and when the urge came back to smoke again, I lit up a cigarette and my lungs quit working. Couldnt breathe in or out. Shut down completely.
For the next ten years I self-medicated with ephedra, other peoples medicine and paid a meth head for findings from his dumpster diving.
Two years ago I was rushed to the hospital barely breathing. The ER doctor said, “if you go bad on us during the night we’ll have to use a respirator, who is your next of kin”? Three days and nights in ICU and four days in a hospital room. A year later back to the hospital for a treatment.
I remember an interview with Willie Nelson on late night television. He mentioned that he smoked marijuana on the roof of the White House. He was asked why he still smoked marijuana and he answered. That from coast to coast the graveyards are full of people who died from one disease or another. But, before the disease got them it was stress that was the precursor.
What was that Bob Dylan song that went, “what’s it like to be a rolling stone, with no friends of your own’? Stress that’s what.
What’s gratitude? A warm shower after weeks on the road.
Arthur, good to see you back. I was worried about you.
Somebody, nuthead and others…
I am convinced that one factor that may explain some of the blindness and stupidity in many of us was our age. I was 22 when I joined, and now that I have a 20 years old daughter, I can clearly see that, although very smart, she is not very wise. I play my motherly role the best I can, and give her lots of hopefully helpful advice from my hardly earned understanding, but she is inevitably going to make lots of mistakes as she learns how to navigate life. And many of us didn’t even get a lot of good advice from our families!
It works pretty fast, too. You are young, naive, enthusiastic, you find this nice group of people (complete with a few really great persons), you get involved, you make a commitment, and before you know it you start to change, to “get on with the program”, and then…
oops, too late, you’re “in”
Some get out earlier, for others it may take 30+ years; in any case, please don’t be too hard on yourselves, especially if you joined in your early twenties… with the same undiscerning and hopeful spirit, things could have gone wrong in any number of ways, and they usually do for most people. That’s why midlife crisis can be so positive for revaluating one’s life choices and make necessary adjustments. Painful, but healing.
http://www.mind.org.uk/Information/Booklets/How+to/How+to+survive+mid-life+crisis.htm
This one’s for you Arthur:
Bob Dylan –
Like A Rolling Stone 6:07
http://www.youtube.com/v/TyNRlsuSZk8
Lyrics:
Once upon a time you dressed so fine
You threw the bums a dime in your prime, didn’t you?
People’d call, say, “Beware doll, you’re bound to fall”
You thought they were all kiddin’ you
You used to laugh about
Everybody that was hangin’ out
Now you don’t talk so loud
Now you don’t seem so proud
About having to be scrounging for your next meal.
How does it feel
How does it feel
To be without a home
Like a complete unknown
Like a rolling stone?
You’ve gone to the finest school all right, Miss Lonely
But you know you only used to get juiced in it
Nobody has ever taught you how to live on the street
And now you find out you’re gonna have to get used to it
You said you’d never compromise
With the mystery tramp, but now you realize
He’s not selling any alibis
As you stare into the vacuum of his eyes
And ask him do you want to make a deal?
How does it feel
How does it feel
To be on your own
With no direction home
Like a complete unknown
Like a rolling stone?
You never turned around to see the frowns on the jugglers and the clowns
When they all come down and did tricks for you
You never understood that it ain’t no good
You shouldn’t let other people get your kicks for you
You used to ride on the chrome horse with your diplomat
Who carried on his shoulder a Siamese cat
Ain’t it hard when you discover that
He really wasn’t where it’s at
After he took from you everything he could steal.
How does it feel
How does it feel
To be on your own
With no direction home
Like a complete unknown
Like a rolling stone?
Princess on the steeple and all the pretty people
They’re drinkin’, thinkin’ that they got it made
Exchanging all kinds of precious gifts and things
But you’d better lift your diamond ring, you’d better pawn it babe
You used to be so amused
At Napoleon in rags and the language that he used
Go to him now, he calls you, you can’t refuse
When you got nothing, you got nothing to lose
You’re invisible now, you got no secrets to conceal.
How does it feel
How does it feel
To be on your own
With no direction home
Like a complete unknown
Like a rolling stone?
28/288 My apologies for the lame defense Bro, but you know what I meant. (Don’t TASE me).
Thanks zoe can
Great article and gave me enough relief to help me accept who joins a cult.
Keep speaking to students and not be to direct or negative seems a more effective methode.
Very informative.
Zoecan,
this is really interesting, thanks.
From : http://www.icsahome.com
(international cultic studies association)
III. CHARACTERISTICS OF CULTS
There is not one specific sign or symptom that in and- of itself identifies a group as a cult. There are, however, certain predominant characteristics possessed by all cults. All cults manifest at least some variation of these characteristics, although not necessarily all of them are possessed by all cults.[9] These characteristics include the following:
1. The cult has, or had, a living, central, charismatic, authoritarian leader who commands absolute control, loyalty and allegiance from followers.[10]
2. The leader claims to be infallible and omnipotent, possessing special powers and insight or revelations not available to others.[11]
3. The cult will introduce to its members new and unusual beliefs, practices and values which differ from or are in violation of conventional standards of behavior.[12]
4. The cult teaches that only it possesses the ultimate truth, and creates in its members the belief that leaving the cult will put physical, mental and spiritual health at risk.[13]
5. The cult’s “new” theology or philosophy is superficially coherent and appealing, while its “real truth” remains secret and concealed.[14]
6. The cult practices some form of social separatism, elitism, and isolationism. The cult leader encourages his followers to leave their current employment, schools, families, friends and activites that are not cult-related.[15]
7. The leader cultivates, and the cult maintains, a sense of “outside” persecution.[16]
8. The cult adopts its own special language often using new terms and assigning different and special meanings to common, familiar terms. [17]
9. The leader maintains tight control over members in ideological matters and all facets of everyday living through the use of mind control techniques and manipulation of the social structure of rewards and reinforcements.[18]
10. The leader maintains complete control over the members’ lives; this includes their sexual practices, as well as when and if the members will have children.[19]
11. There is excessive control of the members’ finances. Members may be expected to contribute large tithes, offerings or most or all of their worldly possessions.[20]
12. Children in the cult belong to the leader, with all members of the group considered their “family,” and the leader, their father (or mother).[21]
13. The cult’s recruitment practices may be aggressive and deceptive.[22]
14. When a cult’s deviance reaches extreme levels, it may discontinue recruiting and no longer accept new members into the group. However, occasional supervised visitation from “outsiders” may be permitted.[23]
These characteristics establish a totalistic environment in which the character and identity of the individual cult member is reshaped into the new creation desired by the cult leader.[24]
300 Arthur
….At three the next day I went and spoke with Girard Haven. He said that P. accused me of entering her bedroom without permission. And, he wanted to know my side of the story. I told him that whatever P. told him was true and I had no excuses.
He listened then said, “we or I do not want you sleeping in the parks but you have 24 hours to leave”. As best as I can remember he said something like in the event you want to return the door will remain open with but with a $2,500.00 price tag.
The next morning while gathering things, looking for a ride and waiting for money, the phone rings and I answer. It’s none other than Girard Haven who says with a chuckle “are you still here”…..
————————————————-
Cruel and formatory Girard!He was doing his job impeccably.
Arthur, if it is any consolation P saved you from staying in the FOF too long.
Stay out of trouble and take good care of yourself!
Another Name: I wish there was some magic pill one could take to not have to experience what it’s like to leave the Fellowship. It’s really hard! And for me it was especially hard emotionallly. I could do without all the art, the music, all of which I could create on my own, but the people. Wow, that was hard. And painful to know that many acquaintences were not going to spend time with me any longer. I think running into students in the Fellowship after I left was especially painful because there was the uncomfortableness of what to do and say. Because of this constant emotional confusion and pain I left town. That was a good thing. It gave me some space to recreate my own life and not continually be bantered by thoughts and feelings of the past in the Fellowship. The classical music had to go too since there were so many connections, positive ones, that were missed. For me though I had grown up with classical music so I listen to it again now.
What has to heal is our relationship to ourselves and our relationship to the Fellowship and a little distance wouldn’t hurt, even if it was to move up the street a little bit where the chances of running into folks diminishes. It seems to have a certain energy to it that’s always confusing and painful. I wish you much healing and happiness. Big bear hug. 00
wakeuplittlesuzywakeup ~ 308
‘. . . experience what it’s like to leave the Fellowship. It’s really hard! And for me it was especially hard emotionallly.’
I could tell how hard it was for you because you have more ‘ell than is needed in your ‘emotionallly.’ (For non-english readers, ‘ell = hell; because there is an extra letter ‘l’ there.) It was ‘ell times 3 and it was emotional, too – I get it. And, it is certainly worth it. Kind of like this joke: Do you know why divorce costs so much? Because its worth it.
You may sally forth now.
309: I’ll never tell. What? I have always spelled emotionallly with 3 ellls.
worth repeating:
297 somebody
“There are shools, for instance, or systems, which even though they don’t admit it nevertheless are based on a false personality and on a struggle against the conscience. Such work obviously will create the wrong results.” P.D.Ouspensky
wakeuplittlesuzywakeup ~310:
Must be that third eye thing.
300 Arthur
I know at least two more male friends who in a similar situation accepted the accusations of a woman (or a center director) for “breaking the exercise”. I don’t know why women some time are doing this, there are plenty of false accusations in this area, but what is more strange – why the guys accept the accusations? Is it a pride? Why didn’t you tell “she was giving me the massive hints”? Or she was flirting with me? Any sexual harassment complaint requires an investigation.
312: I’lll never telll. No it’s the third elll thing. xxoo
I would like to add one thing and it’s directed to people still in the Fellowship of Friends.
Went I went to California I did not go directly to San Francisco but to a teaching house in Pacific Palisades.
While there James Bryant and three others invited me to go to dinner in Malibu or San Monica. I thought that unusual for three center directors to be inviting me. They had a purpose. They wanted me to stay in Pacific Palisades.
But “I” (it) didnt want to leave the Comfort of people I had been around. Also, all my stuff was at the head of the U-haul and I didnt want to (fool) with it. Was that the instinctive center balking?
James Bryant gave me good advise, and I didnt listen. The people on this blog are giving good advise for free. I would listen very carefully and not dwell on, “I dont want to leave the people I am comfortable with”.
Thank you James Bryant and you Elizabeth and you Yesri Baba and you Veramenti and you Bares Reposting and you Lauralupa and you Luke and you Anthony the yard man for slamming down the window and you P for showing me the door and you Girard Haven for slamming the door. Last but least everybody on this blog and all those from the teaching center.
To the people in the Fellowship of Friends: I believed that I had truly lost a ‘real school’ and beat myself to death for twenty-seven years until I found the Shieks blog- Our Blog.
I would really think about the advise you are now getting for free and which wasnt available in my day. Instinctive comfortableness and being a Rolling Stone are not compatable.
Get out and breathe free clean air.
I would like to share my new realizations about misinterpretations of the fourth way ideas which are so common for us that we don’t ever question them.
“You will be surprised in what form these ideas come back to me! The system means all these ideas in the form they are presented. Change one word here and one word there and you have a completely different system” P.D.Ouspensky
The idea of C Influence mentioned by Ouspensky never had anything divine or religious attached to it. It is a simple formula used to explain that a student who is serious about a method can’t learn it from the books, but needs “a professional” help. Similar to a person who joins a gym: he can get only so far with his own plan, but if he reads a good book he will make a better progress, however meeting the author of this book and working under his supervision directly would be much faster and more productive. So, in this case A influence is a combination of “mechanics” (his personal aim, his laziness and the gym itself), the book with a described method is B-influence (it influences him to be more intelligent and successful), and C-influence is a direct influence of people who already succeeded with this method and can understand his individual situation. (By the way, according to Ouspensky the real schools must use the individual methods and not a uniform.)
R. Burton “extended” the idea of C influence from people who became conscious and still are alive to people who awakened and now are not in their bodies (which is very smart). Plus mixed it with a religious or superstitious ideas of deities or gods (with the rainbow wings)
If you take this idea plus the idea that one has to sacrifice one’s self-will and – you have a life time of slavery position in a cult.
313 Somebody,
I think men cannot “pick-up” the subtlest sexual hints of a woman.
I was talking to Amelia about what P. told me later, that while on the bus ride to Union square she became sexually oriented toward me (horney in other words). Ameila said that another woman can pick-up those hints and had she been there she would have warned me.
I dont know about women but in reading the material I understood that sex is a very powerful and explosive thing. I didnt want to tell Girard what P. told me about her (horniness) that she use her bait and I became a suckerfish. It seemed to me that I would get her in trouble and it would be better for me to leave. I was behind in my teaching payments and making very little effort seeking employment. I did go into her bedroom uninvited and so I broke the “sex rule”.
But, Hey, reading this blog leads me to believe I wasnt the only one. Huh, Bobby? And, I have never been interested in Porno, Girard.
Remember the theme song for the Fellowship of Friends, “Canon in D major”? I still like that for a long time when I heard it in the road it did make me sad. Stimulas/response?
298 Another Name: “Life is a cult”
No it’s not. Life is life. The company I work for is not a cult. The Fellowship Of Friends is a cult (see 306 above).
Yes, we were blind and stupid. Yes, we were young, naive and enthusiastic. No, I don’t have any regrets.
Sorry for all the bad grammer, I am little brain damaged, it comes with old age.
Bob Dylan is the same age as me. Same month. Mick Jagger old and so too Willie Nelson. They are still jumping around like there is no tomorrow. Must be the DNA.
Oh, on Animam Rico’s “About” page there is a link to a site called, “Erowid”. It is an awesome library on drugs, experiences and anything and everything..
I noticed that it has a land address in Grass Valley, California. Anybody here connected?
In their “character vault” they show pictures and bio’s of well known people. One is none other than George Ivanovich Gurdjieff. But, there is no mention of him using drugs.
So, I’m curious. Why would he be there? And, he is not the only “spiritual teacher” listed.
Pensate un attimo 326
(thanks zoecan for the link to this very clear article)
“There is not one specific sign or symptom that in and- of itself identifies a group as a cult. There are, however, certain predominant characteristics possessed by all cults. All cults manifest at least some variation of these characteristics, although not necessarily all of them are possessed by all cults.”
Wow! (correct me if I am wrong), it looks like the Fellowship of friends scores an impressive 12 out of 14.
Congratulations Bobby aka Beloved Divine Teacher, as a cult leader you are definitely a pro!
289 Somebody
(and others who followed with their own posts)
Yes, I recognized myself here too. And all the imperatives from Ouspensky about needing a “real school” were definitely a force as well. Keep in mind also that we become vulnerable to cult recruitment when we’re in transition: a divorce, graduating from school and being thrust into the world, losing a job, the death of someone close, anything that jars our identity a bit can open the window.
Once one has been “captured” heart and mind, it’s much more difficult to deal with the issues of personal responsibility (“Why did I do those things? Why didn’t I leave earlier? etc.). For me, the biggest problem has been forgiving myself, and I struggle to this day with the aftereffects of those years (I left in 1994).
As far as who is a good candidate, maybe there’s something to the “family or origin” dynamic that others have spoken about (and you might find more on this if you look into “object relations” therapy). But it’s still a bit of a mystery why I go to a prospective student meeting and think I’ve found the promised land, while the guy sitting next to me runs out thinking “They’re all nuts!” Fate?
With enough distance, I see how “tiny” the FoF is, how vast the world is, how many other aberrations people fall into, and how the only time I can lose is today. Thanks for the discussion.
Arthur
Thanks for telling your story. I’m sorry you had so many years of suffering over something that turned out to be “not what it seemed.” You are also a victim of the confusion, unacknowledged fear, violence, unconsciousness and stupidity of the fof toward human sexuality. I’m glad you survived.
288 Mick Danger
Dude, 26 for 28??? Are you kidding me? I bet the Jags are still scratching their heads wondering what happend to them. You know what’s wrong with this country? No over/under on the presidential primaries, that’s what! And have you seen the smoke Bill is blowing at the Bolts? Awesome. Belichick for president!
JoelF
Belichick for president!
Now Joel – Remember they caught those guys taking pictures of the other team’s sidelines. Isn’t that almost as bad as admitting to smoking marijuana but saying you didn’t inhale?
I’m told that in the latest FOF Auction Catalogue M*h*i is offering an hour of silence with him (students will bid real money for this!). Apparently he’s into Buddhist meditation these days. The FOF is expanding what is permissible, presumably in the hope of slowing the student drain.
Also several of the more fundamentalist big-wigs are about to be fired. The word is that their replacements will be more “reasonable” so there will be less cult-ish behaviour like throwing out students who see other teachers.
323 James McLemore
Remember they caught those guys taking pictures of the other team’s sidelines.
Yeah, that’s what’s so great—imagine what this guy could get done with the CIA, NSA, FBI, DOD, and everybody else on his team! It would be positively “nuk-u-lar”!
JoelF
Life: Usual standard for social, and other types of, contracts is that people have the opportunity to make informed decisions about their actions.
Cult: Usual standard, beneath the general level of life, for social, and other types of, contracts is that people have little opportunity to make informed decisions about their actions. There are hidden agendas, esoterica, bait and switch scams, smoke and mirrors, ulterior motives, deception, coercion, undue influence, out-and-out deceit, dishonesty, manipulation, and confidence games; all the while claiming to be above the level of ‘life.’ Just to name a few tricks.
Don’t pay any attention to the man behind the curtain.
http://www.youtube.com/v/YWyCCJ6B2WE
321 Lauralupa: Yep, I got 12 out of 14 too. Hmmm.
325 Skeptical Optimist
I had not thought of that. Good point.
322 Skeptical Optimist
Arthur
Thanks for telling your story. I’m sorry you had so many years of suffering over something that turned out to be “not what it seemed.” You are also a victim of the confusion, unacknowledged fear, violence, unconsciousness and stupidity of the fof toward human sexuality. I’m glad you survived.
_____________________________________________
Thank you Joel F. for saying to Arthur what I felt in my heart.
…and Arthur, you really got some courage to tell your story without any frills. I still keep thinking you suffered a lot from having been kicked out from the FOF and from what I understand it took years and finding this blog to even begin heal the shame you felt.
It’s almost like for a long time you did not really leave the fof because it was forced on you to leave and thought you had something wrong in yourself! grrrrrrr…
Arthur-
I feel ya bro’.
I went down that same road.
“The profound and passionate wound, while healing, refuses to close.”
Goethe
Yesri Baba,
I think the quote from Goethe applies to a lot of people reading the blog. It’s the perfect submission and thank you.
“On the the road again” by Willie Nelson.
“The road less traveled” by ??? somebody.
I remember one time hitchhiking in Arizona in the middle of nowhere and darkness all around. I’m standing there waiting for a car, when all of a sudden a real voice, not imaginary, said, “you better get on home”.
Another time crawling out of the Grand Canyon in pitch darkness with fellow students William and I think Robin, we sat down to rest, when above us, a voice said, “do you have a cigarette?”
Isnt life a wide road with voices coming at us from all directions and at all times?
“Happy trails to you”, Roy Rogers
Yesri baba, you understand.
Arthur, old boy, Blessed are ye, for you did not stay-too-long-at-ye-olde-Fair. As Goldilocks once observed: “It’s very difficult to get things just right.”
“The profound and passionate wound, while healing, refuses to close.”
Goethe
Thank you, Yesi Baba and Arthur, you both understand.
Despite having surrounded myself with people when I left the fof 23 years ago, a part of me was suddenly left standing alone in the middle of a desolate highway on a dark, cloudy night, completely naked. There were no stars to guide me, but there was no longer a moon to eat me either (literally). And it was my highway. I just had to let my eyes adjust and set to work getting a new set of clothes NOW.
another name: You are in good company. I still feel like a complete moron for ever hopping in bed with REB that first time for a little “cuddling”.
333 WhaleRider
Despite having surrounded myself with people when I left the fof 23 years ago, a part of me was suddenly left standing alone in the middle of a desolate highway on a dark, cloudy night, completely naked.
————————————-
For me, this is fundamental.
I understand it somewhere very deeply – and I understood it when I connected with the Fellowship of Friends. It is a scary and lonely ’state,’ but the very ache it brings with it is strangely invigorating.
Robert Heilbroner said ‘All human activity, however creative, is simply an effort to avoid facing the ultimate reality of death.’ To imagine that remaining part of ‘a descending octave’ – the proverbial sinking ship – could lead anywhere but down is ‘comforting nonsense.’
Whalerider, warm wishes to you, and may ‘God’ bless us all.
(329)
veramenti,
The shock of being expelled was intense, and so were all the reactions to it.
After 27 years the pain did get a little dull, but there was always a little something in the background that would pull on the scab, “Canon in D Major” , a word or a phrase remembered.
I found Robert Earl Burton’s book “Self-Remembering” and Joel’s book “Body Types” and I was so happy. Back in the saddle again. To keep going on the path I copied what Rodney Colin said about still being connected to the “Way” even though one were isolated. Believe it or not those were balms for me, or water in the desert.
Then one day I found enough stability to acquire a computer and a telephone (within the past two years). It was like discovering a gold mine. Having never used a computer before I was a little timid (I’m still timid) and nervous. But, I went down the road of discovery.
I typed in Gurdjieff and found a whole lot of links. I went for the ones that were familiar to me. One led me to Stella Wirk’s photograph of her death bed. I was awe struck. Then another led me to “The Lawsuit” I had to read that a bunch of times.
Then an invisible hand led me to the Shiek’s blog (All this might be out of SEQUENCE) but I could not believe what I was reading. Very shocking and disappointing.
And all this is really amazing.
291 Elena
I am looking forward to you having easier access to a computer with internet connections!
For anyone and everyone who is interested, ICSA is having an annual conference in Philadelphia the end of June. I think you would enjoy the lectures, the people, the ex-members support and the whole experience. Just go to the web-site and register.
Next year the conference will be in Europe.
Pamela
336/Pamela
The ICSA (formerly AFF) conferences are stimulating and socially enjoyable. I definitely recommend them.
“Ta Douleur”
[I know you're suffering, but trust me, I'm gonna take away your pain.]
Lève toi c’est décidé
laisse moi te remplacer
je vais prendre ta douleur
Doucement sans faire de bruit
comme on réveille la pluie
je vais prendre ta douleur
Elle lutte elle se débat
mais ne résistera pas
je vais bloquer l’ascenseur…
saboter l’interrupteur
Mais c’est qui cette incrustée
cet orage avant l’été
sale chipie de petite soeur ?
Je vais tout lui confisquer
ses fléchettes et son sifflet
j’vais lui donner la fessée…
la virer de la récré
Mais c’est qui cette héritière
qui se baigne qui se terre
dans l’eau tiède de tes reins ?
J’vais la priver de dessert
lui faire mordre la poussière
de tous ceux qui n’ont plus rien…
de tous ceux qui n’ont plus faim
Dites moi que fout la science
à quand ce pont entre nos panses ?
si tu as mal là où t’as peur
tu n’as pas mal là où je pense !
Qu’est-ce-qu?elle veut cette conasse
le beurre ou l’argent du beurre
que tu vives ou que tu meurs ?
Faut qu’elle crève de bonheur
ou qu’elle change de godasses
faut qu’elle croule sous les fleurs
change de couleur…
je vais jouer au docteur
Dites moi que fout la science
à quand ce pont entre nos panses ?
si tu as mal là où t’as peur
tu n’as pas mal là où je chante !
Camille
http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=DgXUctWDF34
“Au Port”
“Au Port”
[Once I was a little girl, stuck in a harbour, waiting for my beloved captain to come back. But then I decided I was a captain. And I stopped being a little girl.]
Hé ! petite fille ! tu bois de l’eau et tu es soules
là ou tu te noie tu a beau avoir pied tu coules
au port
Hé ! petite folle ! c’est pas la brasse c’est le crawl
pour la traversée il t’aurai fallu des épaules
du corps
Mais lui c’est différent, il est né sur l’océan
c’est un grand capitaine, un amant monument,
tu t’es perdue dedans…
Hé ! petite fille ! on est jamais deux à partir
y’en a toujours un pour larguer l’autre pour languir
au port
Hé ! petite cruche ! avec tes pots de confiture
tu partiras en sucette mais pas à l’aventure
au Nord
Mais lui c’est different, il est né sur le Mont Blanc
c’est un grand alpiniste, un amant monument
tu as perdu sa piste…
Hé ! petite nonne ! si l’au-dela si tu le trouves
le ramène pas au cardinal pour qu’il te l’ouvre
encore
Hé ! petite larve ! je suis toi-même et je te parle
tu es déjà grande alors lève toi sors de ta cale
Au port
ton coeur de petite fille est mort
Hé ! petite fille ! à ta droite l’Arc de Triomphe
Hé ! petite fille ! à ta gauche il y a dieu qui ronfle
Hé ! petite fille ! devant il y a les pyramide
Hé ! petite fille ! derrière l’génie de la Bastille.
Camille
moi, j’aime bien ça!
http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=qXUjWBjCNjw&feature=related
Arthur and another name:
I was thinking about you today.
http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=pSIbfzK2spg&NR=1
316 somebody
I’d like to deeply thank you for sharing your realizations about the idea of C Influence. Its malevolent distortion definitely increases the slaves’ institutionalization and their fear to experience the open air.
STELLA WIRKS name triggered of some interesting thoughts:
Found this link:
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/ArkansasBob/
Description
THE BURTON ASSRAM,
FELLOWSHIP OF FRIENDS,
GURDJIEFF-OUSPENSKY CENTRES bookmarks,
RENAISSANCE Vineyard-Winery,
APOLLO, CA,
Oregon House, Yuba County, CA
FROM Case#060209, Yuba County:
“Burton explicitly told Troy [17 year old son of a member] that the “angels” wanted Troy to disrobe, and the “angels” wanted Troy to submit to Burton’s advances because Burton himself was an “angel”, a goddess in a man’s body.”
EVIL: Case # 060209
Fellowship of Friends Cult Center
Rick Ross
Stella Wirk
New American Wing
Randazzo
Book Review 1
Burton’s First “School”
Russian Site
Burton Website #1
Girard Haven
DIRTY DEALS
FOF Cult Information
“We are the greatest school since Christ’s.”
-Robert Burton
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/ArkansasBob/message/9
TODAY’S DAILY CARD:
THE TEACHING OF IGNORANCE (FROM ROBERT’S EGO TO OTHER’S EGO)
When you look at objects with the aim of dividing
attention, the lower self will bring associative
thoughts to lure you away from presence. Therefore,
when you say ‘Look’, you must be sure to actually
look, and then to bring ‘Back’, and then ‘Look’
again.
Love, Robert
MORE IGNORANCE:
“Sometimes I’ve believed as many as six impossible things before breakfast”. [Lewis Carroll]
This refers to the sequence acting. Of course, this is the “impossible dream”. We actually stop being machines and become conscious beings through the sequence. Hans Christian Andersen said, “Love breeds life, and the highest form of love”—work ‘I’ number six—“breeds the highest form of life”—the four wordless breaths. (Robert Burton)
God Laughing, Skeptical Optimist 342-3
Thanks for the link! I was not familiar with this beautifully written testimony, and I think it definitely bares reposting.
Un-retouched nor edited, except to add paragraph separations foreasier reading, copy of email msg received to the list maintained for former members of the Fellowship of Friends.
Date: Sat, 15 Nov 1997 17:44:13
From: richard buckley
Subject: Greetings!!
Greetings All!!
Was pointed towards this list via Stella after reading the 10/12/97 S.F. Chronicle article and making a contact with her. I’ve been sitting back for a few days, going though most of the posts, trying to get a feel for what’s going on here. Quite a lively list!! I quickly had to set up it’s own folder just to keep my inbox down to a comprehensible size! Despite the commotion going down with the ‘hot topic o’ the day’, I pick up an overall feeling of general cyber-commeraderie and kindness—things most woefully lacking from many, if not most, electronic gatherings of people I run across on daNet.
I’m getting a hoot out of seeing names and reading posts from people–of which some have very clear faces–others are a little foggy–but most I have no clue as to who they be!! Old dusty memories and a big mixed bag of feelings have gotten rattled around inside here.
Amazing!! Really!!
Anyhoo, my FOF story, in a microscopic nutshell, be as follows:
1) Joined in Portland 4/74…
2) Moved to the Bay Area in 1976—To the Kensington House—does anyone remember that nutty place??– where I shared a little bedroom with four other men–sleeping on the floor–I think 17-18 people lived in this house at a time!! I worked as a grunt for Anthony ‘Somebody’s’ ‘Fourth Way Lawn and Garden Service’. I remember customers would ask me what the other three ways of gardening were!!!. I can’t remember exactly how I responded but can imagine what a fairly new “good” student back then might say. Had to be ‘intentionally insincere’ with those life people ya know. What I wouldn’t give to roll that old film a little more clearly today!!
haha
3) Late ‘76 ’til sometime in ‘78 was sent out to Cincinnati where, after meetings, we’d go to discos instead of coffee shops. Lotsa of sex and partying coupled (pun most intended) with lotsa crazy stupid guilt. Meanwhile, while I’m trying to reconcile my raging hormonal youthful lust for life with FOF ideas and ’suggestions’ re: sex and relationships, the person that I had transferred my deepest trust on to is raping young men back in Calif.. Huh?????!!!!
4) Moved back to Renaissance in ‘78–or was it called Renaissance yet??– worked at the lodge as ‘assistant maitre’d’ for a little while. More memories bubbling up to the surface—-I remember the FOF had bought out a Selix store’s surplus of used tuxedoes–which seems like it was the general working uniform of the day back then–and all these men crowded into the ‘barn’ getting fitted into these penguin suits (I remember fighting with Bruce Levy over a pair of pants. We were the same pip-squeak size and there was little for us to choose
from) which we had to buy for the amazingly low, low price of
{{{{$44.00}}} which was not so amazingly low- as I remember- I think I was getting around $75./month on salary!!! Eventually ended up working in the vineyard driving tractors. One day, while I playing tractor jockey and mowing terraces, the mower hit a rock and started a fire that burned down more than 10 acres!! Now there’s a gem I haven’t thought about in a decade or so! Interesting process, typing
out this stuff.
5) Some time in ‘79 , as I was courting Helen Drake (who, BTW, is alive & well; remarried and living in Sonoma Co.) Robert asked me to move into the Blake cottage. Well, this was like hitting the big time for me.
I felt as though I must be doing something right to be singled out for this honor. Little did I know. I was absolutely and completely clueless. I remember a day or so before I moved in Don Biagi said to me “living in the Blake cottage is very different than what you might think”—And I just let that one sail way over my head. Little did I realize–Don Knew!! Anyway, two days after I moved in RB made his move on me. **Recalling this particular episode in my life has the flavor of a weird distorted acid-trip**
I remember that even when he told me to take off all my clothes no alarm-bells went off. But when he touched me– every thing went off like a nuclear explosion. Every alarm, every siren, every cautionary sentinel of my being was set off shrieking and screaming. “Warning, Will Robinson. Danger! Danger!!” I remember–now for the first time since then—that I felt like I was going to pass out. Like I was getting swallowed up by something way too monstrously big for me to
handle. All the trust and love that I had transferred onto this guy–the person that was–to me, at the time—my ultimate caretaker, the caretaker of my very soul—was blown completely and utterly away in the fraction of the few moments it took me to comprehend what was coming down.
Incredibly, somehow, I was able to say to him that I did not feel comfortable with what he was doing. And just as incredibly, he did not push the issue with me. He did not use his “C-influence wishes this” bullshit line on me—but let me go back to my room to be alone with my horror.
Two days later he called me into his room saying–and I will never forget exactly what and how he said this–”Goodness, I think it would be a good idea if you moved out of the Blake cottage”.
I had no great compulsion to argue the request—I ran!!!! The entire length of my residency there = 5 days.
I remember a few days after I moved out a couple of high
profile ‘good’ squeaky clean students said things to me inferring
that I did not have the *Being* it takes to be around the Teacher on such an intimate basis, as though it was some character flaw of mine that got me thrown out!! In some ways they were very correct. I kept my mouth shut. And if I continue to hold onto any regrets, its that I didn’t say anything about my experience until several years later.
6) Come 1980 Helen and I married and I continued to work in the vineyard but my whole inner landscape was changing rapidly. No big surprize there,duh!
The outward form of the School began to have less and less meaning for me and I began to seek out and really cherish other students who–for lack of a better desciption–were out on the fringes of acceptable FOF high society and tinged with not a small degree of cynicalness. It was great!
I remember frequent bouts of heavy drinking get-togethers with other vineyard ‘badboys’ where we’d sit around swearing and just generally dissing the stinkiness of the hypocrisy so adhered to in the FOF culture. “Fuck this” and “Fuck that” “What a big asshole so&so is” and on and on…. Its exactly what I needed at the time and I’m literally LOL as this stuff comes up on my screen.
I think, now, that this was the embryonic beginning of my recovery and eventual healing!!! But, before any real tangible healing was to occur, there were still some chasms in my being that I had to plummet.
I mentioned “heavy drinking” a few lines above. Well, for me it got heavier and heavier. All the accumulated pain and loneliness of my entire life seemed much nearer the surface after my ‘RB experience’ and I did not have the resources to handle them in awareness. Instead, I drank.
I pretty much drank like a fish right up until 1987 when the drinking began to cease to work as an effective buffer against my pain and I began to have this vague unsettling inkling that if I truly wanted to reconnect with Life I had to start living it from the inside out instead of taking it from the outside in. It was not a sudden revelation or abrupt giving up of anything but much more a process of which I still feel very much in the middle of today——And it is all right!!!
7) Seems like I skipped a few years there maybe. Oh well.
Meanwhile, back at the ranch, ;-) I continued to work in the vineyard and invisibly come apart at my soul-seams. Its interesting sometimes to play with what kept me from up and bolting from the FOF in 1980.
Different factors I think.
1: It was it was my life!! I had real friends!! I was married for
cyin’ out loud!!
2: I still clung to the line, in one form or another, that RB once
gave to another student (who did bolt soon after hearing it) “It
would be better one were not born than leave the School” Scary stuff!!!—but for different reasons today.
In 1984,when Sammy Saunder’s Revelations reached the general FOF public, I began to prepare for my final departure.
I took some general science courses at Yuba College and then early in ‘85 moved back to the Bay Area and got a degree in Nursing finally severing from the FOF sometime early in ‘86.
8) I’m really getting tired of typing! Suffice it to say that the
last 11 years of my life—post-FOF—have been uneventfully very eventful. The process we’re all on does not cease. No matter how much I wish it would. No matter how much I whine & bitch about it———it goes on.
So, sometimes I find I can take a breath in and out and say “Perfectimoso!!!!!!!!!”
Thanks All for letting me catharse. I feel sooooooooooo much better!!!! ;-) …
Wishing All Well————————-R
Oh yeah—a quote I wanted to throw in from Ram Dass that says a lot to me re: RB …
When asked what he thought about Hitler, he replied using the concept of Duality. And, in part, said….
“In the world of Two we try to stop Hitler. In the world of One we realize we are Hitler.” seeya———–r
342 God Laughing.
“We are the greatest school since Christ’s.”
-Robert Burton
It’s worth contemplating this for a moment or two. It’s a kind of hologram of the FOF teaching, from which all the accompanying absurdities (like the daily cards from Pensate above) flow. I actually find it difficult to fully encompass the overwhelming insanity of such a statement. Of course it’s completely contradicted by the reality of the FOF. How mad do you have to be to believe this stuff? And yet there are people who still do. Amazing really.
345 Pensate: “Sometimes I’ve believed as many as six impossible things before breakfast”. [Lewis Carroll]
I used to believe six impossible things before breakfast, as follows:
1. Robert Burton is a conscious being.
2. The Fellowship of Friends is a real School.
3. If I can only make enough efforts to be present I will one day become conscious.
4. The instinctive center opposes my efforts to be present.
5. Girard Haven is a man number 5.
6. Attending Fellowship events will help me awaken.
Robert Burton’s interpretation: “This refers to the sequence acting. Of course, this is the “impossible dream”.”
True in a way. The sequence producing any useful results is indeed an impossible dream.
347 Nuthead
If you think about it they really do have a lot in common.
Christ really loved peter.
(Oh, bad lower self! Bad, naughty, nasty lower self)
Hey guys, I know that last one was real dicey but I want you to know I got permission.
He said he laughed so hard he almost split his stitches. He said he hadn’t laughed that hard since he watched that piece of crap “Passion of the Christ” by that idiot Mel Gibson. Since Satan owed him one he had the old devil get Mel all liquored up and go talking in tongues to the cops about the jews ( hence the new stitches).
He also told me to tell you all to start meditating more and cut down on the praying. He said his buddy Buddha is getting sloppy fat up here and keeps calling for help in and out of the can.
And- He was quite clear about this. He said he never visited that asshole Robert Burton. He wants you to know he has a little sumpin’ sumpin’ for him at the last judgement. Something about a surgical procedure and a long (really, really long) candle light dinner with George Dubya. Bar-b-que I think he said.
Yesri baba ~350:
Hell’s bells, man. Tell them the rest of the story. Devil is hosting the dinner. The skewer goes you-know-where, as part of the surgical procedure, and it is pronounced: Bob-b-que. As in Bob-b-qued by the devil. Hot stuff. Might be X rated. See any bob-b-que sauce ’round here?
By long, do you mean for an eternity? Or, long in a different context?
You may recognize yourself (as I did) in this amazing piece. Watch it before it gets taken down.
http://gawker.com/5002269/the-cruise-indoctrinat